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Month: November 2013

Yes I Am Alive

This post is dedicated to a friend from the strip club who asked me if he had lost something along the way because he hadn’t seen a blog post since the 14th. Muscle Mike this is for you! :-)

In the past couple weeks I have been working on networking in mainstream society and reconnecting with average person. This has been an eye opening experience and has made me very grateful for the life that I have. I am truly blessed to have so much freedom. People envy this kind of freedom.

Complacense is another thing that I have been working on. I have become complacent in my life style I know I can go work a few days at a strip club and then stay home for a couple weeks and hide out in the country working on my writing, which is my passion. This is the whole reason why I still dance. It allows the time to pursue my dreams/passions and hopefully find that something that makes me money and makes me happy at the same time. Dancing has been a stepping stone to finding a career without sacrificing my happiness. Personal happiness is very important to me and I value it greatly.

In the next few winter months, I am focusing on not being complacent. It is the journey that is the real adventure!

Xoxo
Zi-Fi

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What Entertainers Want In A Relationship-Strip Club Journals Unbound

Love, sex, and intimacy are all very different things, but when all combined can be amazing. Love is something that distance or time cannot interfere with. Intimacy is the act of ongoing communication with love. Sex is merely a human need/act when love and intimacy are not involved.

So, What do entertainers look for and value in a relationship/significant other? Especially, when it is a woman in the adult industry. Women who have seen how much value society places on sexuality and physicality. And knowing these values are what create job security within the adult industry. After living this illusion at work, what do we want to come home to in our Real lives?

The most vital quality that is priceless in all relationships is trust. “If you do not trust me you have no business being with me,” said an Oregon dancer. This statement hit home because trust is something that people are leery to give to anyone, let alone a stripper. Yes, I get naked on people’s laps and look at them with desire for a living, but it is just a job, a fantasy I create.

Entertainers want to be with someone who values them as a person and not just as the entertainer they are. At work I am an entertainer, at home I am just a person and I surely do not want to be around someone who feels like work and/or a customer. I desire and need emotional intimacy and affection from my partner. Perhaps, more than most due to my job. Giving affection and understanding to strangers at the strip club makes me crave emotional intimacy more then anything else.

Material things are something entertainers can do for ourselves. Plus, we are surrounded by men with money and some desire a trophy wife/girlfriend/mistress. How could this not make a man question an entertainer? Well, we all seek security in our relationship whether consciously or unconsciously.

Often I am shocked by mainstream sexuality and knowledge or lack there of. Recently, I spoke with a younger male who was unaware that some stds are contagious even when protection is used. Working in the adult industry makes one hyper sensitive to the dangers of sexuality. Especially, when used as a band aide on a broken bone to fill a void that will never be filled completely by sexuality.

The average person may use sexuality to fill their voids for love and intimacy, but if entertainers were looking for that same fix we would just take work home with us. The fantasy is not what we want. We want real. Real emotion, real affection, real connection, real understanding, and real commitment. All the things we simulate at work in the strip club and human beings crave/need.

Xoxo

Zi-Fi

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Love, Sexuality, & Intimacy

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Love, sex, and intimacy are all very different things, but when all combined can be amazing. Love is something that distance or time cannot interfere with. Intimacy is the act of ongoing communication with love. Sex is merely a human need/act when love and intimacy are not involved.

Why are the masses focused on sex when it is intimacy and love we all truly crave.

Xoxo
Zi-Fi

Win-win Strip Club Radio

Stripping is a win win situation when at its best. Human beings need affection to survive. It is a basic human need. Newborn babies die without human touch and affection. Why would adults be any different? As a girlfriend bluntly informed me recently, “Human beings were not made to be alone.”

In my experiences adults are no different than children in the sense that when something goes wrong in our lives we seek out comfort and affection. Some people look for a quick fix and want emotional fast food just as they eat fast food expecting a fine dining experience. Strip clubs can provide a place where older, disabled, divorced, and/or emotionally overwhelmed people can go to get affection without putting effort into fixing their root issue/s. Instead they invest money for a stripper’s time and affection, a band aide on a broken bone.

Many of these customers would never admit to being unhappy or go see a trained professional to talk about their problems. However, it is amazing what a man will tell a naked woman on his lap. Sexuality and intimacy overlap and often men(some women too) stress sexuality when it is intimacy they truly crave.

Looking into the eyes of someone who needs affection with desire is a very empowering experience. It may just be another night at work in the strip club, but for that customer he had his needs met for the first time in a long time. Desire is a powerful message to send to someone. We all want to feel wanted/desired/needed. A few days out of the month, I leave the strip club with not only a full purse and a smile, but also with the feeling of knowing I made a difference in someone’s life when they needed it most.

This is when the strip club is a win win situation for both myself, a stripper, and a customer.

Xoxo
~Zi-Fi

Networking-That Oregon Life

That Oregon Life

This past week I have been diving into a new project with a partner here in Eugene. We started a page on Facebook(That Oregon Life) to connect Oregonians and people who love all things Oregon. After working in the adult industry for so long I forgot how easy it is to promote something that is mainstream. When people question whether or not they will be judged for “liking” a page on Facebook, it is a scary world we live in. I am learning to use this to my advantage. My Halloween adventure made me realize that I do not need and/or want to be famous to make a living. The beauty about my job and the judgements of society is I can go off the grid and still have tangible contacts that are valuable.

Sometimes appealing to the masses is a nice change from working in a very nitch market!

Xoxo

Zi-Fi

Like That Oregon Life on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/ThatOregonLife

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