In Vegas everything is in everyone’s face: alcohol, gambling. Buffets, drugs, Sun, heat, desert, sexuality and physicality. Nothing goes unnoticed here, except a good heart, soul, and genuine smile/kindness. Travelers passing through town on short vacations seem to be the only people I can talk to and actually relate to. Even they are normally caught up a bit by the glitz and glamor of the city lights and alcohol.
After working in the adult industry for so long, I am able to see past the glitz and glamor. All things are not as amazing as they seem, once experienced. People here are as shallow as a kiddy pool. Never did I realize how big of a misconception people have about the term sugar baby. No I am not a prostitute, and no I cannot be bought for the night. I have arrangements/relationships with older men who help with my evolution. Much like a trophy Wife, but without the daily chores. These are win-win situations and relationships. I meet men all the time, but rarely do I deem a man worthy of the title of sugar daddy. Often they are emotionally lazy men who are trying to buy their way out of getting to know a woman as a person.
In Vegas, the mecca of the adult industry, I have realized just how much society loves to hate the people who work in the adult industry. People will always assume the worst about a life they have never lived, yet they secretly envy at the same time!
I met a reader tonight, I have talked to him online for about a year. He impressed me with stories of his dead wife and being interested in investing in my book. However, tonight was a rude awakening. Men will tell you what you want to hear, when they think you can be bought for the night.
After declining his roundabout offer in a kind manner, I proceeded to smile and drink more. What an awful feeling knowing people are so shallow they think sexually is a way to bypass emotional intimacy. However, I am blessed not to be at that point in my life personally. I overly value emotional intimacy because it is rare to find. Yet sexuality is easy, some men are just plain mammals no matter their education level!
My car arrives to take me to the airport in Vegas at 10:30am. Yet, here I sit still awake with wonder of what the future holds and chain smoking. I love traveling to dance, but it has been awhile since I have danced outside of Oregon. I have not traveled out of state to dance in a large club since I hurt my back a couple years ago. So, new old beginnings.
I am looking forward to meeting new people and readers!!
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights will be my first nights ever dancing in Houston. Another bucket list experience on this adventure I call life. I hope to see some smiling welcoming faces this weekend in Houston.
P.s. Comment if you are in Houston. ;)
“Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation or lack of companionship. Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connectedness or communality with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people. The causes of loneliness are varied and include social, mental or emotional factors.”
Thank you! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness
After only being here in Las Vegas a few days my loneliness has set in. Going to Houston to dance for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night will help and I recruited some sugar babies to meet me back in Vegas when I return to play and network. Plus, I finally get to meet Mr. Houston in the flesh, which is a large perk of working in Houston!
Being in a big city and meeting a ton of people, but no one who wants to invest the time to see you as a real person hurts. In Vegas every woman is an object. A business planner/life coach that I met for a drink this week even was brash enough to tell me if I went anywhere alone in Vegas I would look like a prostitute. Well, way to give me a complex and make me feel uncomfortable.
My realization that I need to find like minded people to be around is priceless. I can even import sugar babies to play. Everyone wants to play in Vegas and be around people who understand our lifestyles.
Understanding and affection with intimacy are human needs.
I, along with many people in the adult industry, live in a fantasy world to most. However, reality is always relative. Recently, it has sunk in how unique my lifestyle is to mainstream society. When I woke up one morning to get on a plane to Las Vegas for a modeling job for a painter, and to stay with an industry friend, it hit me like a ton of bricks. This is not normal to most people. Yes, it was a bucket list experience to be painted. However, my spontaneous nature did not think twice about the opportunity to expand my horizons. Of course, I was nervous. But how do we feel alive without being nervous and expanding our realities?
I no longer know what normal is and I no longer strive for normal. It took years in the industry for me to admit this to myself, let alone others. Now that I have given up on normal, my life is falling into place. Working at the strip club was easier before I arrived in Las Vegas, because I was able to appeal to the intimacy needs of men who normally crave power trips without having to cross my boundaries. Realizing my reality is my own reality and very rare, added value to it suddenly again. I am no longer just a stripper, sugar baby, freelance writer, and blogger. I am a unique woman who has used her brains and beauty to network and make connections that are priceless.
I would not have started a blog without a push from a high school acquaintance. And I would have never thought of writing, “Strip Club Journals Unbound” without the magical powers of networking. Adult Quest Magazine will always have a soft spot in my heart, along with a former editor.
The moral of the story is to all the people out there in the adult industry please celebrate our lifestyle and do not hide from it. We are blessed and we need to realize it in order to not let the industry eat us alive. It is Spring and time for new beginnings. Let’s all celebrate what we do and see if we can create a ripple effect in mainstream society.
“I celebrate myself, and sing myself.”