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Month: July 2014

Stripper, Sugar Baby, Writer, Real Life

Stripper, Sugar Baby, Writer, and real life are just a few of the hats I wear in this life. Never yet have I found someone who can relate to all aspects. Therefore, I have stripper friends, sugar baby friends, writer friends, and real life friends(who knew me before I wore all these hats). Even my heart and soul have grown dividers. Boundaries and separating the worlds as much as possible is the only way to survive while keeping a heart and soul.

After stripping nationwide my body has been seen by thousands if not a million people. So rarely do I get the comfort of walking around a city and not seeing a strip club customer. I have not worked in some of my favorite places just so I can still have the freedom to exist as a human rather than a stripper in the public eye. True I do not care what people think, but it does effect how people treat me when I am out and about. The stripper stereotype is not something I can make people overcome in this lifetime. I just work around it, as a means to a more pleasant life.

As a sugar baby, I enjoy not being in the public eye so to speak. The ability to actually bond with an individual is a great change after stripping for years and focusing on my career window. Years of being the center of attention and the life of the party every night on a superficial shallow drunk level are enough to make anyone crave something more dynamic.

Sugar has allowed me to open up my heart to let people see the real me while still remaining a safe distance away. I need some time to remind me that kind hearted, loyal people do exist in the world. The idea of a partner in life is so very foreign. Yet appealing, but scary as hell after all the betrayal I have seen in the strip clubs. Does monogamy exist or is it just a myth? …This is a reoccurring question in my life!

Then there is being writer. I have blogged for about 4/ 5 years, written a monthly magazine column for almost two years, and I have freelanced for about two years. However, the fact that I write for the adult industry and have a background in stripping and sugar make people not take me seriously. Shocking, right? Heaven forbid a woman have beauty and brains and use them both. With time I can overcome this stereotype, but only with hard work and action.

Lastly there is real life, the hat I seldomly get to put on without disruption. My real life is a treat and yes I am overly protective of it. Stripping has allowed society to see me nude, writing has allowed society a window into my heart and soul. All I have left to myself is my real life. In my eyes it just make sense to invest in myself and my sanity by keeping my real life personal. Rarely can people understand this aspect, because they have never been so vulnerable publicly.

Windows surround me!

xoxo
ZiFi
@ZiFistripclub

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Will Sugar Dating Go Mainstream?

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While in Oregon, I have been focusing on writing and promoting my blog. Specifically, promoting my blog on more social media sites to reach mainstream America. I know my demographic, but I am looking to make my niche larger. So far, I have learned: People love fluff pieces, where the struggle is absent and/or behind the scenes. Which is understandable. Who does not love a story where hard work pays off, but that story would not be possible without overcoming barriers.

Mainstream society has stigmas and stereotypes when it comes to sugar dating and strippers. I get to experience them all. Relating to people in mainstream society is a very difficult task. After years of running from the mainstream dilusions, I am ready to take a stand.

Sugar dating is not something that will ever become mainstream. Not every man has the means and/or ability to be a sugar daddy, just as not every woman has the ability to offer more than an escort girlfriend exerience.

Not everyone can be a sugar daddy. Yet, everyone has the ability to buy sex!

Xoxo
ZiFi

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Selling Emotions?!?

People always ask if I have more than one sugar daddy. This is almost a catch 22 question to answer. After working in strip clubs for years and in different states, I have regular customers who I stay in contact with. Some of these people have watched me become the person I am today along with aiding in achieving my goals and dreams. I hold them close to my heart. The way I looked through their eyes helped me to realize and become who I am. This is where being a stripper may cause odd relationships to occur. However, these platonic relationships are some of the most priceless.

As far as sugar daddies, having more than one is just the logical thing to do. Sugar is based on logic, not feelings! Yes, I may enjoy time with sd A over sd B, but it all comes down to who makes my life sugary in all aspects. If we were in a traditional relationship all my needs would be met by one man, but sugar is not traditional. It is about feeling valued and appreciated, while individually and actively gaining personal evolution.

Early on I learned that sds will try to sell emotions to sugar babies. As a sugar baby, I have nothing to gain by trying to sell emotions other than a pleasant experience. However sugar daddies on the other hand, will try to sell emotions or other positive qualities they possess to get a financial break. Still receiving everything they were seeking to get out of sugar, just at a discount.

In reality emotions are just a bonus for any decent sugar relationship. Mr Pdx taught me this lesson years ago. I would always ask jokingly if he was trying to sell me emotions. Little did I know how correct I was, but it is a great lesson. Wisdom is something that will get anyone to amazing places!

Never stop networking!

Xoxo
ZiFi
@ZiFiStripClub

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The Week It All Started Happening(Part 3)

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After starting my week in Utah and spending a couple nights in San Diego, I returned home to Oregon to go to the Oregon Country Fair. Rarely am I so excited to come home, but after a great trip to Utah with some quality time, a few days of wandering in a beach city, and receiving amazing news about my magazine column I was on cloud nine. Everything was falling into place nicely, as I have worked on for years. Going to Oregon Country Fair when I came home was just icing on the cake and a way to remember my roots. I may achieve great things, but I have to honor the small town girl I am at heart to truly appreciate my sucess/achievements.

Thursday night I arrived in Eugene late and did not get home till around midnight, but was up the next morning to go out to the fair. Anyone who has ever been and/or heard of the Oregon Country Fair knows how magical it is. This year on my way home, I met a lady in the Salt Lake City airport(from the East coast) who was traveling to Oregon just for the fair. A couple years ago on fair weekend, I left the Eugene airport Sunday on a flight to San Francisco and it was the most colorful flight I have ever exeriened. I do not remember my final destination but I do remember this flight.

Overall, the Oregon Country Fair brightened and lightened my heart and soul. It is great to realize I can achieve in the fantasy we have created as a society and call reality, yet still have my hippie roots. I know there is more truth to be found at a festival than in the corporate world or a strip club. However, we all choose how much we buy into this “reality”.

My successful week where it all started happening turned into a reality and a way of life at the fair that I always knew was possible. I just had not found the right balance, that is until now!

Xoxo
ZiFi

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Writing & Celebrating

When I returned home from the Oregon Country Fair, I spent almost a whole week working on my writing deadlines, public relations and promotions. A week spent in front of the computer, I had come full circle. From working in an office for a corporation after college, before stripping, to now working for myself, but back to sitting in front of a computer. It is irony, but I do love and vale my freedom!

I am still in shock at all that has happened this month. My column, “Strip Club Journals Unbound,” going national is the biggest opportunity I have experienced in years. The next few months will be defining in my career as a writer and it may even effect my sugar life as well. Who knows, because anything is possible. Accomplishing a dream is a great feeling!

Celebrating this accomplishment with others is very difficult. I do not know if it is me or if other people just cannot fathom my excitement because they have nothing to compare it to that is relatable. Having children and breeding is the closest thing I can compare my writing to. My writing is something I have created, manifested, nourished, and worked on without appreciation much like a parent with a child.

Perhaps, I should have a birthday party for my writing career so people will understand its importance to me?!? Smh

xoxo
ZiFi

How would you celebrate? Please comment below I am open to ideas! ;)

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