Niacin & Sauna Detox-Holistic Health

In this modern world filled with toxic people, stressful environments, poisonous food, and damaging social norms, it is impossible to avoid all the chemical stressors that our bodies and minds encounter on a regular basis. Finding ways to lower our toxic load is something everyone should do to benefit their body. Modern life is about handling these stressors and limiting our exposure whenever possible.

The niacin and sauna detox is simply taking niacin, using a sauna, and taking a binding agent. Nothing crazy difficult or too out of the ordinary. Plus, it is used by firefighters to detox from the heavy metals and other toxins they are exposed to. I discovered this detox protocol in the Spring of 2017 and have been using it on and off ever since.

It was easy to start small and take a niacin before taking a detox bath at home. This is how I tested it out and I found great results from just this alone. Detoxing does not have to be drastic. It is about the little changes and tweaks you make to your routine that will have long-term effects over time.

When I moved to Southern Arizona in December of 2018, I decided to do the niacin and sauna detox 5-7 days a week. It is now March and I have completed 90 days. The results have been amazing. I no longer deal with as many aches and pains. My autoimmune responses are slowly dissipating to be a thing of the past. My hair and skin are soft with a natural shine. The benefits are are overwhelmingly numerous.

However, the biggest perk has been the prioritizing of time spent alone with my thoughts. Sitting in a sauna for 60-90mins a day on a regular basis has given me the gift of time with myself. I have never been able to meditate this long, but when I sit in a sauna I feel a sense of accomplishment. I do not get this sense of accomplishment with regular meditation. Yes, I am sitting with myself and my thoughts, but I am also getting something practical done in the 3D world to benefit my health.

Life is about finding balance.



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Detox Tools:

Flushing Niacin

Activated Charcoal Pills

Activated Charcoal Powder

Bentonite Clay

Diatomaceous Earth Food Grade


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A Holistic Approach To Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Many people think they can learn about narcissism and this alone will constitute their healing journey. Unfortunately this is not true. Narcissistic abuse recovery is a holistic journey of healing, encompassing all aspects of your life. There is not one book or blog post that will be the solution to all your problems. Just as there is not one single yoga pose that will enable you to gain total physical fitness. Life is about variety and approaching issues and goals from a variety of different angles.

Until I started to view narcissistic abuse recovery as multi-dimensional, I was drowning in information without the ability to find traction in my life. Healing is a journey involving all aspects of your physical, mental, and spiritual health. Reading a few books and going to the gym is not going to get you the results you desire. Implementing small changes in multiple aspects of your life is the best way to holistically heal from anything.

Narcissistic abuse is no different than healing from a physical illness. Sure you can learn everything intellectually possible about cluster b personality disorders, but if you continue to hold onto hate and fuel your body with sub par nutrition you will become just as toxic as a narcissist. Truly learning that living well is the best revenge takes embodying commitment, focus, and a willingness to change. Living differently is how we heal from the toxic patterns we have become accustomed to. If the way we had been living had worked for us, we would not have found narcissistic abuse uncomfortable and toxic.

Healing is a multifaceted journey with many layers. After living in the black and white world of narcissistic abuse, prepare to live in Technicolor.



If you share this philosophy of holistic healing as the goal of narcissistic abuse recovery, I would love to work with you!

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Narcissistic Abuse Recovery-A Spiritual Revolution

Narcissist do not just abuse people, they wage an energetic war on our body, mind, spirit, and life force. Recently, I have been messaged by many people who feel severing contact from all toxic people in their life is extreme and unnecessary. This is understandable, because it is a drastic measure and often includes cutting most people out of your life.

The fear of being alone is at the root of thinking no contact with all toxic people is extreme. Why in the world do you not deserve to have all healthy respectful people in your life? Is it because it would be a completely new paradigm? People who experience narcissistic abuse have experienced energetic warfare since before they can remember(and before their birth). When we are born to toxic people, who groom us to be in narcissistic abusive relationships as adults, we do not know what it is like to have a healthy energy body(Read How Narcissists Use Energetic Cords-Spiritual Warfare here).

Eckhart Tolle speaks often of how humans live out of their pain body. Well, healing your energetic body goes hand in hand with healing your pain body and becoming present in the moment. Most people have never experienced their own energy untainted by others. It takes months to remove all the energetic hooks and cords that have been inserted into our energetic body throughout our lifetime. Most people are completely unaware of the energy play that cluster b personalities use.

Without a connection to source energy, cluster b personality disorders are energetic vampires who are always in fear of energetically drowning. Thus, every time we interact with a toxic person our energetic body is injured. After a lifetime of having our life source energy stolen and siphoned, most people have no clue how powerful their own life force energy truly is.

When someone says they do not believe cutting all the toxic people out of their life is necessary for their recovery, they are basically saying they do not deserve all nontoxic interactions. We all deserve to be treated fairly and not be preyed upon. Until you can say this for yourself, you are not ready to recover.

Are you done being abused yet?



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The Power Of Now-Eckhart Tolle

So You Have Complex PTSD, Now What-6 Steps

Have you recently been diagnosed with Complex PTSD or have you been researching your symptoms online and wonder where this rabbit hole will lead you? Check out my post on the signs and symptoms of CPTSD here.

Complex PTSD is not something that is well known, even in the mental health industry. This disorder plagues people who have encountered narcissistic abuse and trauma. If you do not learn to manage and minimize the symptoms associated with CPTSD you will be bound to a BPD like life. This was enough to scare me straight after experiencing the wrath of BPD trauma filled individuals my whole life. Recovery is the divider between personality disorders and survivors. Cluster b personality disorders stem from trauma, so you have seen your future if you choose to skip this step.

The journey to recovery is far from simple, but it is manageable if you break it down into steps. These are the steps that helped me make progress without overwhelming my body and mind with uncontrollable anxiety and igniting my fight or flight response. Your body and mind want to heal, you just have to give it the right tools.

  1. Arm yourself with knowledge about cluster b personality disorders-know thy enemy
  2. Identify your root wound and original abuser-you were groomed by someone in childhood to accept these kind of people and ignore the red flags
  3. Identify the toxic people in your life currently-find the red flags you have been ignoring and the people who make you feel uneasy, bad, guilty, unworthy, less-than, etc
  4. Go No Contact with all the toxic people in your life-use the Grey Rock technique when you cannot go No Contact
  5. Find a knowledgeable counselor, coach, or friend who is familiar with narcissistic abuse and recovery
  6. Let the healing journey begin and be patient with yourself-healing is not a linear process

The shock of realizing that your whole life has been preparing and grooming you to be a pawn for cluster b personality disorders to use is a heavy reality to swallow. However, feeling sorry for yourself will not help your healing journey or recovery. Realize you are human and this is apart of your evolution. The real tragedy would be to continue to live in the dark as a pawn for toxic people and become toxic yourself.



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Tools I Used For Recovery

Gang Stalking-February 2019 Update

If you have not read my first post on gang stalking please do so here. Gang stalking is a form of harassment and abuse I have experienced my whole life as the scapegoat of a large multigenerational Russian Orthodox narcissistic family cult. When the heads of this cult died, when I was eight and ten years old, is when they got more ruthless and less effective without rule. My Grandmother was the only one I respected, because she was the only one who could tell my BPD Mother no. After the death of my Grandmother and Grandfather there was no one left to keep their eight living children in line. This is when the real chaos began, not that it was lacking abuse, dysfunction, and trauma to begin with.

In January, when I wrote my first post on gang stalking, I stated I will be sharing my experiences from now on to show the tactics that are used that seem harmless. Well this month has been more eventful than I would have guess or expected. However, my birthday month is March and that always brings more excuses to covertly harass me in the name of being nice. This is the same excuse that makes the holidays a time I do not look forward to, thus writing about gang stalking in January.

The above photo is the last text message my Mother sent me in 2018. I only received this text message because I had my phone wiped clean and forgot to block her again. On March 4, 2018, my Mother texted me to talk about my holidays. Yes, I travel normally for the holiday season, but the holidays are over January first. Can you smell the disdain in her text if you read between the lines? However, in March(my birthday month) her sisters will ask about me and expect a gossipy update on my life from her. If she does not have a scoop of new information that cannot be found on my blog or social media she will be the one who gets gossiped about.

The next communication I received from my Mother is the email above, which I received February 2, 2019(see how the time of year is predictable). Can you tell she worked in medical collections? My Mother is one to threaten things and freedoms, rather than love. Although, this is the first time she told me that she loved me since I visited her for the last time in fall 2017. This was the trip she woke me up vacuuming at 8am, even though she knows I have PTSD and being in the house where I was abused is really hard on my nervous system. These messages seem harmless, but the backstories frame them in a way that makes toxic people reframe and gaslight.

This morning I woke up to a message from my little Brother on social media. He is my Mother’s ultimate flying monkey. My little Brother is my weakness when it comes to emotion and love for my family. When he was born I told my Mom, “it is like meeting a stranger you already love.” I do not know my brother very well. We never have or will be close, but I do love him. My Mother’s fear tactics did not work a few weeks prior, so it only makes sense my Brother would try next and use love as his ploy. When I first discovered narcissism I told my Brother to escape. However, with further research I learned the Golden Child is normally a narcissist himself and rarely escapes. Emotional incest is what describes my Mother’s relationship with him.

So the gang stalking this month seems really harmless and like I am overacting without a bit of the backstory. These are the kinds of messages I have become accustomed to receiving since I stopped talking to them on a regular basis(almost five years ago). I realized they have been waiting for my weak moment, for me to have an emotional meltdown, and give into the crazy label they have assigned me. Every time before when I have gone no contact I have given in, but this time I refuse to give. I have been through a hellish breakup, relocated a few times, been fighting for my physical health like never before and I still refuse to speak to them.

When you have had enough abuse, you have had enough.



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