After learning about Narcissists and Cluster B Personality Disorders, my whole life changed. No longer did I try to connect with my family and/or my partner in life. Finally realizing that “these people” are never going to understand me or my way of thinking. I found freedom from the chains that had held me stuck for a lifetime. The gap I had tried to bridge was like trying to get a black and white television to play in Technicolor. Cluster B personality disordered people are very much like a black and white television.
Realizing and coming to terms with the fact that I grew up in a Russian Orthodox Narcissistic multi-generational family cult was overwhelming. The facts went together easily, but the feelings in my heart did not follow with such ease. I still find myself pushing my emotional spectrum onto my family members and ex-partner in vain. For now, I know that biologically they do not have the ability to understand how my mind works and/or see the world in Technicolor.
After learning about my family, my partner, and narcissism my world collapsed as I knew it. I was no longer the “crazy” person I had been raised to believe I was. I am literally the only sane person in a large extended family where herd mentality rules. Learning that my struggles throughout my life had a rhyme and reason was the largest dose of freedom I have ever received.
How can one continue on this journey in life without having a spiritual awakening after learning of the lies they lived for a lifetime?