How To Recover From Narcissistic Abuse-12 Steps

After reading my last post(Signs You Have Experienced Narcissistic Abuse) and realizing you are suffering from Narcissistic abuse, what do you do now? Information is overwhelming and swirling through your head and up looks like down and right looks like left. Start here to get your equilibrium back.

How to recover from Narcissistic abuse:

  1. Go “No Contact”.
  2. Set healthy boundaries.
  3. Acknowledge the truth & forgive yourself.
  4. Heal your inner child.
  5. Activate your Vagus nerve & do an adrenal reset.
  6. Learn grounding techniques & self soothing.
  7. Allow yourself to grieve & be angry.
  8. Seek professional help.
  9. Work on self-esteem.
  10. Focus on things that you can control(ex. your own behavior).
  11. Understand why the narcissist acts the way they do.
  12. Remember narcissists are incapable of real feelings.

This is just a short list of things that will aid you in the healing process after narcissistic abuse. Be kind to yourself and learn to love the person you are, while starting this journey to be the best you possible. This is just the beginning of a beautiful journey to find the true you, the best version of yourself. Be patient with yourself and practise self-care along your journey.



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6 Steps to Emotional Healing after Narcissistic Abuse (#1 is the most important!)

Signs You Have Experienced Narcissistic Abuse

Many people have approached me with questions regarding how to know if they have experienced narcissistic abuse. In our society, we do not often treat the root issue, but rather treat the symptoms. Therefore, the signs of narcissistic abuse can often become the focus themselves rather than discovering the root issue of narcissistic abuse.

Here are 16 signs of narcissistic abuse:

  1. Anxiety and/or depression.
  2. Health issues and/or autoimmune diseases.
  3. Walking on eggshells.
  4. You put your needs/wants/desires on the back burner.
  5. Self isolation.
  6. Compare yourself to others.
  7. Self sabotage and self-destruction.
  8. Fear of success.
  9. Gaslight yourself(ex. rationalizing, minimizing, denying).
  10. Low self-esteem.
  11. Feeling like you are going crazy.
  12. Nothing you do is good enough.
  13. You feel ignored and/or invisible.
  14. Overachiever or underachiever.
  15. Poor sense of self.
  16. You fear you are a narcissist.

If you can relate to these symptoms of narcissistic abuse, then it is time to reevaluate who you are surrounding yourself with and take the steps necessary to resolve the root cause. Be brave and know that being alone is way better than dealing with these unhealthy symptoms that will eventually take over your life.



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11 Signs You’re the Victim of Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic Abuse: 16 Subtle Signs a Narcissist is Abusing You

8 Signs of Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic War Tactics-Covert Versus Overt

All narcissists are not the same in the way they wage war on your heart and soul. Some are covert and others are overt. The differences are great in the tactics they use and how they come across, but the end result is narcissistic abuse. Richard Grannon describes covert as using the same tactics as Communism and overt as the Nazi regime. This explanation brought things into perspective more clearly than ever before.

I grew up Russian Orthodox with a BPD/Narc Mother who still speaks broken English when she gets upset.(The Offspring Of Evil-Growing UP Communist) Communism is nothing new to me, however the idea that covert Narcissists are basically Communists was an eye-opening realization. As a child, my Mother would tell me she was beating me because she loved me and it was for my own good. So from early on I was conditioned to think that abuse was love. This is the communist war tactic. They do not tell you that they hate you, they disguise their hate as love. This is a pattern that has repeated in my life over and over. However, the truth can set one free and I am here to say that no one has to accept this definition of love.

People who truly love you will not abuse you. People do not physically or emotionally neglect someone they love. This is not a delusion that you have to keep on living. Real humans love each other and show it with affection and attention. This affection and attention does not hurt, it heals and nurtures. For those of us who have found ourselves in relationships that include narcissistic abuse, we no longer have to operate with the false belief that love hurts. Real love does not harm or hurt.



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Divorcing A Narcissist

The past 60 days, I have been arming myself with knowledge about cluster b personality disorders. I had to wait to be able to take legal action to discard my narcissistic partner. Legal and financial ties are all we have left. This is an extra step, I have never had to take before. Normally ending a relationship is pretty simple, but get the government involved and you become helpless at times due to the red tape and legalities.

Being stuck with a narcissist legally is a heavy burden to bear. It is much like being a child again and being stuck between my covert narcissist Father and my Mother who is BPD and a spiritual narcissist. During the past few months, I gathered so much information, knowledge, and wisdom on cluster b personality disorders. Finally, I understand the emotional warfare these people use in the name of love.

The secrets that keep their false reality alive are pretty overwhelming. They jump through many hoops to disguise their lack of humanity and immoral behaviors. I do not know how they live in such a stressful manner, but their health conditions prove that it does take a toll on them. I know recovering from domestic violence and narcissistic abuse has taken its toll on my mind, my health, and my general well being.

Here is to a new chapter of my life beginning! I took my power back and refuse to conform to these people’s false realities.



The Biological Cause Of Personality Disorders

Over the past few months, I have researched the biological cause of personality disorders. With so many toxic people in our society there has to be a physical component to mental disorders and mental health. I went down the rabbit hole with this one, so be open-minded as you read my hypothesis of what causes personality disorders and so many other health conditions in our modern-day society. Also, note that this is just my findings based on a life of toxic people, a career in the adult industry, years of research, and logic.

I was raised in a large extended family. My Mother’s parents immigrated to the US during WWII from Russia and China. My grandparents lived on the west coast and had ten children. These children, my aunts and uncles, have been my research subjects for a lifetime.

Immigrants have a higher rate of personality disorders and mental illness.(1) I did not know this growing up, but I did know that my family was different from most American families. As a child, I assumed this was cultural differences. However, now I know most of them are mentally ill and/or personality disordered.

When I chose a partner in life, I too picked an immigrant who is personality disordered. This was all I knew. In my eyes, family was an uncomfortable group of insecure people who took joy in the barriers and obstacles of one another. They even created more obstacles for each other whenever possible, because they could not share in the joys of each other’s successes. With this kind of family unit there was a vast array of different health conditions and concerns.

First, I looked at ulcers. My partner has ulcerative colitis and I searched for ways to make him healthier, but the real discovery came when I looked at the cause. Ulcers are caused by a parasite and are linked to personality disorders of all kinds.(2) This made sense and the research is limited, but still there to concrete the connections.(3) Therefore, an immigrant with ulcerative colitis is extremely likely to be personality disordered. This starts to bring the cause of personality disorders into perspective with a tangible contagious biological cause/source.

Parasites cause ulcers and are contagious. This explains why being in an intimate relationship with a personality disordered person can cause mental disorders and/or distress.(4) There are so many different points of view on why being close to a person who is mentally ill and/or personality disordered causes troubles, but the one thing that seems to be agreed upon is they do cause “fleas”.(5)

From here, I ran into a study that linked schizophrenia and other mental disorders to parasites.(6) If cats can be linked to spreading parasites that cause mental illnesses what makes us think that people cannot be spreading these parasites that cause mental disorders/diseases/illnesses?(7) There are many studies on this subject and the proof is there. However, it is rarely discussed. If this research was mainstream would anyone go to a mental hospital or inpatient program for mental health?(8)

With this information, I researched parasites in general.(9) Parasites are extremely common throughout the world with millions of people effected and most unknowingly. The research is not ample or extensive because the funding is not there. If many of our health problems are caused by parasites, then the healthcare industry would take a major hit to their profits. Parasites have been known to cause seizures for example. If these people did a natural parasite cleanse rather than taking pharmaceuticals to treat seizures they could find long-term relief. However, there is no profit for the medical/healthcare industry in making people healthy.

With all this information linking together parasites, mental illnesses, personality disorders, ulcers, and immigrants the connections are there. Where will we allow these links to take us?




  1. Mood, anxiety, and personality disorders among first and second-generation immigrants to the United States.
  2. Association between peptic ulcer and personality disorders in a nationally representative US sample
  3. Temporal Comorbidity Of Mental Disoders and Ulcerative Colitis
  4. Is BPD Contagious
  5. We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Fleas
  6. Toxoplasma Gondi, Parasite In Cat Feces, Linked To Schizophrenia And Other Mental Illness
  7. Toxoplasma gondii and Schizophrenia

  8. Targeting Common Parasite Could Help Treat Certain Mental Disorders
  9. Parasitic Infections also occur in the United States

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