career goals

Exxxotica Denver-Strip Club Journals


@IamIvanxxx & @Jaydencole

Exxxotica Denver began on the last day of March(aka my birthday). So on my birthday morning, I jumped on an airplane to Denver from Las Vegas. An adult industry convention is always an adventure. The adult stars and the excitement fill the atmosphere with high energy and once in a lifetime experiences. It is a weekend to shine for many adult entertainers. A weekend to network and monetize their career with a sprinkle of instant gratification. The adult industry Exxxotica conventions happen three times yearly in different locations(Chicago and New Jersy are the other 2017 locations). They are a smaller version of the AEE and AVN week, but they allow for more interaction due to the intimate setting. Exxxotica Denver was the perfect place to actually interact with the stars.

Great town, amazing weekend and convention!!” ~Dominic DiLorenzo (@WeAre321Music)

The devoted fans had no qualms about dressing up even though the weather was not accommodating. I experienced snow for the first time this winter and it was on April first in Denver(maybe it was Spring). Some of my adult industry friends from Florida had not seen snow in years! These conventions are a great way for us who work in the adult industry to have a well-rounded career and personal life. We get to experience things outside of our everyday norms and are lucky enough to be surrounded with an adult industry community.

Society loves to hate the adult industry. Therefore we must take extra care to be kind and loving of our peers. The adult industry wars against society together in many different ways. There is a level of respect, compassion, empathy, and love that people who work in the adult industry retain. We have the ability to empathize with each other more than we can relate to a civilian(someone who has never been in the adult industry).

“I hope we return to Denver next year! Denver was so welcoming and I met so many new friends! I would love this location to be annual because I want to re-live that weekend all over again! It was one of my favorite Exxxoticas of ALL TIME!” ~Shawna Lenee (@ShawnaLeneeShow)

Meeting new people was a theme of this convention. As an adult industry journalist, I attend many adult industry functions. At Exxxotica Denver I was lucky enough to really get to interact with others who work in the adult industry. There are a lot of adult industry people who I basically stalk at these functions for a career.

My stalking award for Exxxotica Denver goes to Ivan(@IamIvanxxx) co-owner of the Puba network, director, and 2016 AVN Award winner for Best Web Director. Ivan first caught my eye on the red carpet at the AVN nomination party at the Avalon in Hollywood(Nov 2016). I had no clue he was so fancy and talented, but after connecting with him at Exxxotica Denver the research began. Not only is Ivan involved in the adult industry, but he also works in mainstream horror movies. Adult industry films allow him to utilize his creativity while mainstream movies are a tangible creation he can share with his family.

“A labor of love” is how he refers to his career. This alone speaks volumes of his character and work ethic. To be successful in the adult industry one must be liked and treat others fairly. Ivan’s career longevity is not only due to his education, talent, and work ethic, but also his ability to create symbiotic relationships within the adult industry. At the Puba network there are no contracts like at other adult industry studios where a year contract is common place. Ivan stated in a matter of fact tone,”If the girls are happy they stay. Why would we want to keep girls under contract who are not happy?”

Happiness of the actual adult industry workers is rarely openly discussed. Exxxotica Denver was a rare moment when I had the privilege to witness the joy of adult entertainers while surrounded by each other and their fans. There were no awards to foster competition or jealousy at Exxxotica Denver. Therefore, this was the most lighthearted adult convention I have been to yet.

“It was a great crowd I can’t wait till next year to go back and see all the new people who will come.” ~Mike Falk (@Way2Broad)

Everyone needs a sense of community, even adult industry member and adult stars. Exxxotica conventions throughout the year and nation bring us all together to celebrate the lives we live against the grain of society. When your career is what you do for work and not your lifestyle, anything is possible in the adult industry.





@ZiFiStripClub & @EAFLOWS

Jenna Haze-Exxxotica Denver

Jenna Haze Exxxotica Denver

While on the flight descending upon Denver a few days prior to the beginning of Exxxotica, I started to think about what to expect. You see, once you’ve experienced the Exxxotica Expo over a handful of times you kind of have an idea. You have your givens and the regulars. Whether it’s the talent, the vendors, the production companies, the fetish toys etc. However, I saw someone that I didn’t expect to see. Someone who had retired six years ago.

I met her for the first time about eight years back at Exxxotica Miami Beach while she was at the height of her popularity. I am talking of course about Jenna Haze. So, as I approached her booth at the Bad Dragon section of the convention center, I wasn’t quite sure if my eyes were playing tricks on me or it was another starlet that happened to resemble her. Once the sea of people cleared & I was able to catch a closer glimpse at the name on her table my suspicions were confirmed. I began to engage her in an indepth conversation that spanned through her entire career. She told me that this is her “farewell tour” as she described it. The final chance to say goodbye to her fans.

There was a certain air of wisdom to her words. She has been through a lot during her time in the industry & you can definitely tell she was more than willing to divulge her knowledge onto others. You know the “Do’s & Don’t’s”, the “pros & cons” the learning curve “ups & downs” & the insight that she wished she had then but cherishes now. On her table she had pictures & DVDs that she was prepared to sign for her loyal fans. The DVDs were most certainly dated. I could tell by the talent on the covers. Some of them were from yesteryear and were also retired. Some would say this collection of assorted DVDs will soon be considered vintage.

There was a nostalgic, slight melancholy vibe to our conversation but I welcomed it. Enthusiasts such as I of the adult industry can really appreciate moments like these. Hopefully the fans in the upcoming cities can see her one last time. I’m sure the real hardcore fans will make the pilgrimage to the venues to say a final goodbye. Thank you Jenna Haze for the memories. You have left your mark and it is a beautiful thing to behold.

Enrique Arellano



ZiFi After Exxxotica-Personal


Here I sit in my bed at home in Las Vegas writing on my new laptop. My birthday was last Friday and over the weekend was Exxxotica Denver, so it has been busy to say the least. Plus, I recently got a new rescue dog so leaving home for a work trip was extremely more difficult than normal.


In my daily life, I am ordinary and work from home mostly alone and love it. After years in dark bars surrounded by drunken people who are unpredictable, I enjoy being in a controlled environment. Conventions are the part of my career I push myself to go out of my comfort zone and be surrounded by people again. My nerves are apparent, but I doubt people know why I am nervous. It took me till this past weekend to realize going out of my ordinary controlled environment I have created here in Las Vegas causes me social anxiety. I love to travel and go places for fun, but mix in work and having to talk to people and I turn into a bit of a wreck.

Day 3 Exxxotica Denver

After this realization I felt a bit of relief, but I cannot say I have found a solution. Today has been a day of self-care and loving myself for conquering my comfort zone. Starbucks, laser hair removal, chiropractor, quality time with the dogs, and a trip to the medical marijuana dispensary have all been apart of my day of getting back into my ordinary groove. I love my life at home and have finally created a life I do not feel like I need a vacation from.


However, the travels must continue!




The Life Of ZiFi


The past six months have been a whirlwind of adventures, events, and emotions. So many things are happening in my life and career. It can get overwhelming. When I started this blog(in 2010) never did I think I would have come this far. But here I sit at home in Las Vegas writing at night with my Starbucks, just as I used to in Eugene, Salem, Portland, and Sacramento.

We may evolve, but our habits are what make or break us!


In the past year, I have spent an incredible amount of time alone writing. I have attempted and accomplished things I never expected to achieve in such a short time frame. In the past six months, I have published two ebooks on Amazon and iTunes. Finding a book editor who can deal with my kind of crazy is priceless. Goals I made many years ago are now manifesting into tangible products. It is exciting to have something you love and are passionate about finally become real.


Speaking of real, I also had breast augmentation surgery in December to replace my implants. This was unexpected and due to medical issues with the first set, but I am loving the results. I am so happy I had the surgery done again. My range of motion with my arms is better and I am no longer cold and in pain. It was quite the ordeal and costly, but so worth how I feel. If you do not feel normal after plastic surgery, listen to your guts and get a second opinion. The best irony is at the time I was just finishing my first book So You’ve Got New Boobs Now What? A Guide To Recovery.


Life throws us curve balls in the most bizarre forms sometimes. Now I have a small car invested in my chest and two ebooks published. Due to my surgery I was not able to travel for the holidays, but I could still type(after a few weeks). So, writing my second book A Decade On A Pole was the logical thing to do.


So finished Book 1… Had Surgery…Finished Book 2… And AVN Season Begins

AEE and AVN season are one of my busiest times of year. Networking, magazine deadlines, and all the responsibilities of owning and being your own business filled the air. My first full day of walking after surgery was at the AEE at The Hard Rock Hotel. I was in pain and worried I would hurt my new implants, but I went and conquered and completed most of what I aimed to achieve during AVN season. Sometimes things do not work out as planned or expected, but they still work out.



After AVN season concluded, I made my way to the Sex Health Expo in LA. It was smaller and more intimate of a convention and my first time attending. I had the opportunity to see Dr Ruth speak. All while blending and being one of the masses. Sometimes it is nice to just sit back and absorb some information. A huge thank you to Scarlett Black for always being a kind face in the crowd. Follow her adventures on Twitter @ScarlettBlackes.


Then after a quick trip home to Las Vegas, I changed suitcases and I made my way to Oregon to see family. My little partner in crime is always willing to go along and play in the country. Going “home” to Oregon to where I grew up is intense to say the very least. I have a very hard time making myself actually go. People in small towns think so differently, but at least they are predictable. The disconnect between sex work and “real work” in their minds is a huge barrier. Keeping my clothes on for work did not change this dynamic even within my own family.


Overall, my dreams are on the way to coming true and I feel so blessed to be where I have positioned myself. I realized I have neglected writing personal blog posts over the past couple years. This will change starting with this post. Regular personal updates will appear, along with posts from my personal journal over the past year.

I feel like me again… It is time to write!




Sin City Vixens-Strip Club Journals Unbound July 2016(Unedited)

@ZiFiStripClub & @KaylieKayx

Nikki Lotus is the owner and operator of Sin City Vixens(a cam studio) in Las Vegas, Nevada. She just recently opened Sin City Vixens(@SinCityVixens) in January 2016, but her knowledge is beyond overwhelming. Through the magic of the Adult Webcam Awards(@AdultCamAwards) we connected due to Sammy Brooks(@SammyBrooks69), who I have to thank for opening my eyes to just how large the webcam industry truly is.

“Webcam changed my life, I have learned about people and just how diverse men and women are. I never thought I would learn as much as I have about fetishes. However, if it was not for webcam I never would have become an organizer for the Adult Webcam Awards.” ~Sammy Brooks(@SammyBrooks69)

Before entering the adult industry, Nikki Lotus(@SinCityVixens) was a Director of Surgery in New York. This explains her attention to detail and her ability to run a business within the adult industry in such a professional manner. Never, in my almost decade in the adult industry, have I met someone with such attention to detail while being a people person at the same time with a business mind. She is someone who has succeeded in the webcam industry and is now helping others to succeed in the freedoms that come along with being a webcam model.

“Sin City Vixens has made me more patient, centered, to be able to handle each situation, in the most positive and productive way.” ~Nikki Lotus(@SinCityVixens)

There is so much opportunity for the new girls to make money and/or a career with webcam work, even setting their own personal limits and hours. However, rarely do webcam models have someone to help and mentor them. Well this is what Nikki Lotus does. She shares her wisdom with a loving yet tough approach. Webcam girls are more prevalent than most would guess. However, their success rates vary so much due to so many factors. Nikki Lotus shows girls, women, and TGirls how to be successful while giving them a safe place to be, around people who care about their well-being.

“Sin City Vixens has made me responsible enough to actually get up and go to work everyday.” ~Khloe(@The_Real_Khlo)

Nikki Lotus goes as far as providing vitamins, over the counter medications, low-cost doctor visits, to food high in protein, so the girls who work for Sin City Vixens know they have a safe and healthy workplace. A place to escape to put on their alter ego and go to war for their financial well-being uninterrupted. Significant others often get in the way of doing cam work from home. Therefore, webcam studios aid in the comfort level and ability to work distraction free. Nikki Lotus is very aware that it only takes one tiny thing or interaction to ruin a work day in the webcam world and this may carryover to personal life as well. Therefore, keeping everyone positive and happy is the goal for everyone to make more money and be as successful as possible.

“Sin City Vixens changed my life by helping me get back on my feet and giving me a place to work that I actually love and where I am surrounded by people that are like family.” ~Lynda(@LyndaSinnXXX)

The webcam industry has gotten a bad wrap for being sleazy not only in mainstream America, but even within the adult industry. However, after talking with two transgender webcam models(TGirls) who were amazingly kind and open I learned differently. This was a rare opportunity due to most webcam studios not allowing TGirls in their studios. A big thank you to @The_Real_Khlo and @KayoFlamez for being so patient and open-minded about my lack of knowledge.

I learned about 90% of the time webcam models are on cam they are not doing anything sexual. This was shocking, but also eye-opening. People have a need for intimacy and the webcam industry is a niche serving that need 24/7, 365 days a year. The webcam industry is a billion dollar industry. Simple economics, but yet in a more controlled environment than other niches of the adult industry.

“Caming is the future of the adult industry,” Nikki Lotus(@SinCityVixens)

Sin City Vixens does not charge any fees to the girls working in the studio and it is female owned and operated thus making it extremely rare and/or a one of a kind webcam studio. Also, Nikki Lotus allows TGirls in her studio which adds to the diversity, understanding, and tolerance of the environment at Sin City Vixens. Everyone has their own version of “normal” at Sin City Vixens. They work with people worldwide who have to hide what they love, only to get instant gratification online with a side of shame.

“Hiding what makes you happy does not get you happiness!” ~ZiFi

With all the new technology coming out, Sin City Vixens is already incorporating virtual reality into their studio, which will be up and running by this August. Thus, the webcam industry is not going anywhere. The thing about people who rely on the internet for income is they change with the times and quickly in order to stay on top.

Evolution within the adult industry is in the making!




A very special thank you to @Sulheejessica for amazing makeup and eyelashes by @Ashleybasiliere_

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