Here I sit in my bed at home in Las Vegas writing on my new laptop. My birthday was last Friday and over the weekend was Exxxotica Denver, so it has been busy to say the least. Plus, I recently got a new rescue dog so leaving home for a work trip was extremely more difficult than normal.
In my daily life, I am ordinary and work from home mostly alone and love it. After years in dark bars surrounded by drunken people who are unpredictable, I enjoy being in a controlled environment. Conventions are the part of my career I push myself to go out of my comfort zone and be surrounded by people again. My nerves are apparent, but I doubt people know why I am nervous. It took me till this past weekend to realize going out of my ordinary controlled environment I have created here in Las Vegas causes me social anxiety. I love to travel and go places for fun, but mix in work and having to talk to people and I turn into a bit of a wreck.
After this realization I felt a bit of relief, but I cannot say I have found a solution. Today has been a day of self-care and loving myself for conquering my comfort zone. Starbucks, laser hair removal, chiropractor, quality time with the dogs, and a trip to the medical marijuana dispensary have all been apart of my day of getting back into my ordinary groove. I love my life at home and have finally created a life I do not feel like I need a vacation from.
Leasing a house in Las Vegas is ten times more difficult than anywhere I have ever lived. The property owners do not put in much effort in upkeep of the rental properties here for obvious reasons. However, some of these homes are worth $400k and up and they still do not maintain them well. Things like heat pumps break because the renter is responsible for the service fee for the warranty of the owner and the owner does not have them serviced between tenants. Thus making the owner able to blame shift onto another company because he is their customer, renters pay just for the service(we are not the actual customer to third-party business). Due to most landlords living out-of-state and owning multiple rental properties, they have businesses/people who maintain the properties for them. Thus, they have the ability to blame shift as they choose.
The catch of it all is most people hate moving. I would rather live in a maintained house and ocd clean it for the whole lease period so I feel like I have security and a home. Unfortunately, Xiaowei Xia(aka Winston Xia) has been one of those out-of-state landlords. Due to all the problems with maintenance and the condition of the property on move in I have to recommend everyone to stay very far away from Xiaowei Xia(aka Winston Xia) from California.
The biggest catch is the way he claimed his last tenant was a 18 year old stripper, when we very first viewed the house and there were cigarette or blunt ashes on the wet bar. Thank god he had no clue what I used to do otherwise he may have discriminated against me too! And the sad part is it is cheaper to move than it is to take your landlord to court so they have a corner on the market. This is what made me start writing: the irony of “fancy” people not being held accountable for their actions/responsibilities.
Beware Vegas! There are property owners and landlords out there like Winston Xia(aka Xiaowei Xia) and Liqun Jia.
The pictures used in this post are from April 2016 to now June 7th 2016.
After coming home from Las Vegas and the AVN Expo, Portland has felt so very small. The feeling of wanting to run had been flowing through my veins. On Sunday, I had to escape to Eugene if I was going to retain any of my sanity. When I am in Oregon and surrounded by small minded people I want to at least be near my family. There is something large to be said for the human factor in the equation of life. Especially after surviving the adult industry for years its importance is multiplied.
So long story short, I am back in front of my computer to catch up for a bit on my blog. My magazine column(Strip Club Journals Unbound) is finished for March. And I am Las Vegas bound this weekend for photos and fun.
May we all manifest our dreams!
“If art is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes him.” ~John F. Kennedy
I need to find my purpose and home. Living in so many different places is difficult in many ways: friends are hard to keep in touch with, matching clothes are in different states, focus is easily lost on the big picture when the small picture is changing so quickly. To top it all off, I am still adjusting to not stripping any longer. Not working is difficult!
Yes, I was finished with stripping because it no longer made me happy. But now that I have taken a break from it. I almost feel like it is my responsibility to go back to stripping and get as much money out of being labeled a stripper for life as possible. Yet, there is another part of me that wants to leave stripping in the past. Therefore, logically I would focus on sugar more.
Portland bound for a long weekend. Leaving Vegas is always difficult. I love the sun, relaxing, and spending time poolside. Vegas is my Zen location to become grounded within the reality I have created for myself. The adult industry is not an easy place to exist in and call home! However, it is my livelihood/career. This may just be the industry I was destined for.
After my week of staying in and recovering, I decided to go out with a friend and be spontaneous. While we visited and meet others in the industry at different strip clubs, I suddenly remembered how and why I fell in love with it all. Not only was it the freedom, money, and glamour that drew me in, it was the excitement and thrill of the energy in the air. Nothing compares to being on stage while shining and doing what you love. Especially, when the crowd is paying attention, literally and figuratively.
Home is what you make of it. It just so happens I am home in the adult industry, the least expected place of all. However, I have found my people. Others may say we are damaged and delusional, but some of the kindest accepting people I have met are within the industry.
“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”~Maya Angelou