narcissistic abuse

Narcissistic Abuse-Nature vs Nurture

When you are raised by narcissists or toxic people nature versus nurture is not really a debate because both were choatic messes. Nature refers to the genes you inherited and nurture refers to the environment you experienced. Both of these contributing factors need to be addressed in narcissistic abuse recovery.

Nature, being the genes you were born with, is not on your side when you are born into a narcissistic family. Toxic people do not take care of their health on more than a surface level. So being their offspring means you need to address these health issues. Heavy metals, parasites, and gut flora are some of the things that we inherit from our parents that have a large impact on the quality of our lives. All mental disorders are thought to begin in the gut. Cleaning up your microbiome is a great place to start when recovering from narcissistic abuse. Do a heavy metal cleanse, parasite cleanse, and start colonizing the good bacteria in your gut. These are all things that seems really simple, but after you begin to address these issues you start to realize how dynamic they really are.

Changing your environment is the easy part. Anyone can move and start over, but not everyone realizes nurture encompasses changing the way you react and respond to life. Changing your behaviors that reflect in your environment is changing your deep rooted programming. You were programmed by a toxic person who installed viruses into your programming that will cause you to self destruct. If you do not address these viruses and out of date programming it will lead to a whole system break down: emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Nature versus nurture is not the question when recovering from narcissistic abuse. Genes and environment are both issues. The question is have you addressed both to fully encompass your healing in a holistic manner.




Self-Care After Narcissistic Abuse

Learning how to take care of yourself and listening to your body is the first step in recovering from narcissistic abuse. After a lifetime of putting other people’s needs before your own, it is difficult to even know what your body needs and wants. And loving yourself seems like an out-of-body experience, because it has never been something that came naturally from within. Well, self-care is the journey to self-love.

After narcissistic abuse we all want to live our best lives. This means practical application of self-care to develop self-love in a healthy manner. Self-love is the foundation to a healthy and satisfying life. This seems so simple in theory, but let’s examine the root cause of this “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” as Ross Rosenburg puts it.

Self-Love Deficit Disorder is the outcome of being raised by toxic people who do not know how to honor themselves. Conditional love is the language these people speak. Thus motivated by our fear of not being loved, we learned very early to live by other people’s feelings rather than our own. Until we overcome this Self-Love Deficit we will continue to attract people who do not honor themselves into our lives.

When I first read about Ross Rosenburg’s Self-Love Deficit Disorder and Human Magnet Syndrome, I was shocked to the core. It made so much sense. Logically, I could see how these theories had played out in my life and in the narcissistic family cult I was raised in. However, I did not know where to go from here. How was I supposed to practice self-love if I had never experienced someone who actually loved themselves?

Radical self-care is the solution to Self-Love Deficit Disorder. Learning how to take care of your body, mind, and spirit are the building blocks to developing self-love. Once again this sounds entirely too simple, but it works. As a codependent empath, we are raised to cater to the needs and feelings of others. Now is the time to cater to our own needs and feelings in order to heal.

How do you practically apply this information into your everyday life? Create baby steps that add up and naturally snowball. For example, start taking your physical health seriously. I enjoy this approach because feeling better physically leads to better mental health. Some baby steps would be to start taking vitamins/supplements, do a parasite cleanse, take a long relaxing salt bath once a week, eat healthier foods, go for walks, go to the gym, sit in a sauna, get a massage, and/or start meditating. Pick a few self-care practices and do them on a regular basis. When you start to feel the payoff from these self-care practices you will want to add more into your life and the snowball effect will start to take place. Honor your body, mind, and spirit and only allow others into your life who do the same. This is how self-love is created.



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Some of my favorite simple self-care things:


12 Tips For Protection Against Psychic Attacks After Narcissistic Abuse

Psychic attacks are prevalent with cluster b personality disorders. These people are not in control of their emotions and/or their thoughts. Thus, their need/desire to control others. Circular thoughts are merely energy being spit out into the universe over and over again. Most people are not in tune with the collective consciousness, but after enduring narcissistic abuse one is very familiar with being in touch with the energies around them. We are conditioned to atune to the needs and desires of others, aka energies. When going no contact with a cluster b personality disordered person psychic attacks can range from annoying to crippling, especially when more than one disordered person is involved.

Here is a short list of tips for protection that have worked for me. Do as many as it takes to get back into your energies, but one or two is normally sufficient.

  • Grounding/Earthing
  • Smudging with sage or palo santo
  • Improve your core muscles
  • Salt bath
  • Drink water/hydrate
  • Exercise
  • Meditation-become present in your body
  • Eat root vegetables
  • Sauna
  • B vitamins-niacin and B12 shots
  • Crystals
  • Detox/Cleanse your body-the more habitable your body the fewer psychic attacks will be felt/bothersome

This was something that I had a hard time explaining when it first started happening. However, after I found the words/term and was able to wrap my mind around the situation it was an easy fix. I wish you much peace in your journey to recovery.



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Reclaiming Your Health After Narcissistic Abuse

Reclaiming your health is a large part of recovering from narcissistic abuse. After being with a narcissist, and being raised by them, we need to take care of our health dynamically like never before. We were taught from an early age to respond to other people’s needs and wants rather than listen to the needs of our own body. The physical body is a vehicle which can lead you towards achieving mental health and clarity.

Here is a short list of things that need be addressed while in recovery:

  • Stress response can lead to autoimmune issues-cortisol management
  • Microbiome-everything from what you eat, to your children, to your dogs, to your kitchen sink, etc
  • Environmental toxins
  • Bad habits/addictions
  • Diet
  • Vitamins/Supplements
  • Exercise
  • Parasite cleanse
  • Heavy metal detox
  • Emotional detox
  • Adrenal reset
  • Liver support

Recovering and reclaiming your health is not limited to just these things, but these are some ideas on where to start.



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Also check out: My Health Journey-Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery-Leave Your Humanity At Home

When recovering from narcissistic abuse it is time to redefine boundaries. Boundaries are what keep you safe in the future and lack of boundaries is what got you into this mess. In all fairness, you were probably never taught to have boundaries, because you were raised by a narcissist. So, the first step is realizing it is healthy to have solid boundaries.

As I have mentioned before, if you find yourself in a romantic relationship that results in narcissistic abuse it is a pretty safe bet that one of your parents was a narcissist. Narcissists do not raise their children to have boundaries, because they have children to secure constant narcissistic supply. If narcissists taught their children boundaries, the children would start to use these boundaries with their own parents. Thus, the children would not be fulfilling their purpose in the narcissists’ mind.

Mourn the loss of getting to be your emotional self in everyday life and move forward. Even though cluster b personality disordered people seek out to kill the emotional spectrum of others, they hate when you can turn off/tone down your emotions because they lack this ability. They are addicted to the few emotions they have. Thus, their circular obsessive thoughts and trying to kill parts of others they cannot obtain in themselves to feel a rush of power.

“When dealing with insincere people, abandon sincere communication.”

Leave your humanity at home. Even the grocery store is not meant for humanity, look at the “foods” they sell that will kill any trace of humanity some people have left. Our society is not built for humanity, it is built for dysfunction and narcissism. Our government is narcissistic, so our society follows suit. Guard your humanity as the rare gift it is and keep it safe. Humanity is the only thing that can save our society as a whole, but there needs to be strategy before bringing it out publicly.

I am not saying to be heartless. As an intuitive empath with a large emotional spectrum myself, I believe in kindness. However, I do not believe in letting others feed off my emotions and declaring me their new source of supply. Cluster b personality disordered people do not have a connection to source energy. And people who have no connection to source energy are always one breath away from energetically drowning. Are you going to let them push you underwater?

In our world today the nice guy finishes last. Let’s change this by leaving our humanity at home and taking the energetic scarlet letter off. Camouflage is a beautiful war tactic that we all need after experiencing the emotional growth that takes place after narcissistic abuse.

Please leave a comment below if you can relate.



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Check Out: 6 Tips For Setting Boundaries After Narcissist Abuse

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