The product I enjoyed the most out of my Strip Club Journals care package was “Jesus Loves Porn Stars”. I felt like I could really relate to this little book, being in the performance industry. I am a dancer in the Portland, Oregon and there still are very judgmental people in this area. In my opinion, we should all be treated equal and stick together no matter what your job or occupation is. In this tiny book, it expresses the bible in a different ways and outlooks than the typical person would we read in a typical church. It opens up our eyes to a new era of people and the society we live in.
In a world with so many stereotypes about cultures and industries we work in, the performance industry can feel left out at times. We all suffer and go thru hard times, but this little book reassures me there is always hope and guidance somewhere out there to be found. I really liked how it had mini stories throughout the book about real life people: escorts, porn stars and even Ron Jeremy at the end.
Leaders in the church community before have personally tried to make me feel bad about what I do, but this book helps overcome that fear of judgmental people. The stories in “Jesus Loves Porn Stars” are uplifting and I would highly recommend this book to a friend or coworker.
Acclimating to being in the desert again is amazingly weird. For the first time, here I am single and living alone in a new city with just my puppy. In two months my life has changed and turned upside-down. Where to go from here is the question plaguing me. What do I do for income besides write? Writing has yet to be profitable enough to keep up with my spending habits. Which is a tall order to fill with any one career. Thus, why I have always dabbled in a bit of everything.
The adult industry is amazing in this perspective, because there are so many small niches to be fulfilled. After taking over a year off from sugar and almost two years off from stripping, things are clearer than ever before. I know my own income is the only way I will be truly free of men. Men are fun to play with, but once I gave into sugar monogamy I gave up my power. Funny how that turned out… And how I did not know what was happening to me as it happened. I learned the lesson: Never live above the means in which you can provide for yourself.
Now I am living within my means and within my power once again!
Once the conservative realty firm Realty Edge of Clackamas, Oregon discovered one of its partners found his last girlfriend on SeekingArrangement.com. I was informed they gave him an ultimatum. If he continues to see her, then he will be pushed out of the company and not get compensated properly for his work over the past 5 years. Well, I wonder what they would have said if they found out he was gay?
They are conservative Republicans and cling to their glass houses, which is ironic due to them being in the real estate business. However, nothing has changed other than the ultimatum has made him want to keep her more. We always want what we are told we cannot have. Now I live in Vegas full-time and have freedom, in exchange for waiting for my back pay and keeping semi quiet about everything I know of their ill behavior and beliefs.
Well glass houses shatter. I hope the family members of Realty Edge’s employees are aware of how the people they are involved with and love act at work. If they gave one of the partners this ultimatum then it is very clear they wish to keep their actions hidden and their glass houses in tact. I wonder if they would mind if he was a John?
They may have this issue because they have made him more of a fake than ever before!
The employees at Realty Edge in Clackamas, Oregon still continue to get paid, while I am told to wait for my back monthly allowance for being a stay at home girlfriend, relocating, and not stripping. Funny because I even waited till tax quarter to leave when he would deposit a large sum into our joint account. I can only assume why this was a reoccurring theme four times a year.
Within a couple of days of our restraining order being lifted, I got a phone call from my mother informing me that Tim(aka Tae Roh) visited her and threatened that I may face legal ramifications if I did not remove some of the truths about his business off my blog. Well, unfortunately when you date a writer and underestimate her, you allow yourself to be exposed. For people who chose to lead double lives this is just not kosher.
I thought I was an actress in this whirlwind we call life but I am realizing more and more how the corporate world is more two-faced then a stripper on a Friday night preying on drunk men. Tim(aka Tae Roh) represents all the sugar daddies out there that cannot understand without money they would not be surrounded by half the people around him. Employees may act like friends but that is apart of the corporate show they all put on. Let us be honest with ourselves about who is around and why? And are you messing with an employee who is married, well that is wrong in my adult industry perspective. I can only imagine what “mainstream” people would say or speculate.
So to a business man his work will always come first, because there are no legally binding papers that hold him accountable in a relationship besides marriage or a domestic partnership. Guess I am lucky that I never signed a NDA, but he was never smart enough to ask me to. In the beginning of our relationship I had no clue how controlling and inhumane he would be so I would have gladly signed it. Just as I took his word that he would take care of me financially and I relocated to Portland Oregon and stopped stripping, which took away my largest source of instant income, which was what my monthly allowance was to make up for. Allowance monthly was by design so I would never be stuck with a man for his money. Well now he is trying to keep me stuck in his life by withholding my back allowance and I have to play nice in hopes of him keeping his word. Which so far seems tainted when it comes to relationships and financial security and personal financial independence other than his own.
When you date a younger woman and promise to take care of her financially you need to keep that promise even if she wants to leave because no one should be around another for just money. And why would Tae Roh want a relationship based on the power of witholding money when I was just fine financially before him and spent more money and retained my freedom. Plus, he calls my best career year, the year when I stayed home to learn to be a housewife. How insulting! Women like me have no problem leaving a man in the dust, but she will get what she has earned.
Within my career in the adult industry and as a writer I have attended an array of events and places, but never in my life did I experience anything like the real estate conference in San Fransisco. In August I attended with Realty Edge: Tim Roh(aka Tae Roh), Michael O’Meara, Jennifer Diane, and a few others. Only two instances came to mind that I could apply here.
First, many years ago, in California with the Certain One when we went to go watch a football game across from Eddie Murphy’s house. A girl I met at the party told me that she lost her car one night in Sacramento while out drinking downtown with some girlfriends when introducing herself. I will give her the fact that it is easy to get lost in downtown Sacramento parking garages. However, her Father bought her a new car and she reported the car she lost stolen. Only a couple of months later to find the car in a parking garage when she was out downtown drinking with friends again. Now this was an introduction that took me aback, but let me know how to set the tone for our conversation and her mind-set. This reminded me of Jennifer Diane. In my opinion, if she was allowed the ability to be irresponsible and ditsy she would more so then I have witnessed.
Second, I did less touching of people at the AVN awards in Las Vegas in January than Jennifer Diane(aka Drunk Jenn) did at a real estate conference in SFO(even though I had to pose with fans and other entertainers for photos/media). Plus, this behavior was in front of her bosses and she is a married office worker. Never in my life did I think a woman who works in an office and is married to a teacher would have such a need for attention from men. Let alone act on it at a work function. Her husband is a school teacher and sporting coach. I wonder if he knows how she acts at work events? I would be concerned if I was him, but she is the bread-winner of her household. Maybe she gets to do as she pleases, they have an open relationship, and just put a front on like they are a happy Christian couple. I unfortunately never got the chance to meet her husband, but I sure would love him to know what she is really like when not supervised by him, even her bosses do not stop her.
The story continues as we went to the Houston versus Oakland game while in SFO, at the real estate conference. Drunk Jenn(aka Jennifer Diane) was at the height of her trip. Tequilla was her best friend and I am not sure if she even remembers who won the game? There was puking involved by near the end of the game and there were problems with her walking alone. Michael O’Meara being the nice guy who left his pregnant wife home. Let Drunk Jenn molest him a bit while he tried to get her on the Bart and back to the hotel. I am still unsure as to whose room she stayed in that night, but I am sure Michael O’Meara’s wife and Jennifer Diane’s husband would love to find out the truth. I know I would want to know and my roots are in the adult industry, not religion, corporate America and family.
The moral of the story is in the adult industry we have boundaries we are very aware of. Unfortunately, most women are not taught these boundaries and are repressed only to turn out like Drunk Jenns.