Acclimating to being in the desert again is amazingly weird. For the first time, here I am single and living alone in a new city with just my puppy. In two months my life has changed and turned upside-down. Where to go from here is the question plaguing me. What do I do for income besides write? Writing has yet to be profitable enough to keep up with my spending habits. Which is a tall order to fill with any one career. Thus, why I have always dabbled in a bit of everything.
The adult industry is amazing in this perspective, because there are so many small niches to be fulfilled. After taking over a year off from sugar and almost two years off from stripping, things are clearer than ever before. I know my own income is the only way I will be truly free of men. Men are fun to play with, but once I gave into sugar monogamy I gave up my power. Funny how that turned out… And how I did not know what was happening to me as it happened. I learned the lesson: Never live above the means in which you can provide for yourself.
Now I am living within my means and within my power once again!
The employees at Realty Edge in Clackamas, Oregon still continue to get paid, while I am told to wait for my back monthly allowance for being a stay at home girlfriend, relocating, and not stripping. Funny because I even waited till tax quarter to leave when he would deposit a large sum into our joint account. I can only assume why this was a reoccurring theme four times a year.
Within a couple of days of our restraining order being lifted, I got a phone call from my mother informing me that Tim(aka Tae Roh) visited her and threatened that I may face legal ramifications if I did not remove some of the truths about his business off my blog. Well, unfortunately when you date a writer and underestimate her, you allow yourself to be exposed. For people who chose to lead double lives this is just not kosher.
I thought I was an actress in this whirlwind we call life but I am realizing more and more how the corporate world is more two-faced then a stripper on a Friday night preying on drunk men. Tim(aka Tae Roh) represents all the sugar daddies out there that cannot understand without money they would not be surrounded by half the people around him. Employees may act like friends but that is apart of the corporate show they all put on. Let us be honest with ourselves about who is around and why? And are you messing with an employee who is married, well that is wrong in my adult industry perspective. I can only imagine what “mainstream” people would say or speculate.
So to a business man his work will always come first, because there are no legally binding papers that hold him accountable in a relationship besides marriage or a domestic partnership. Guess I am lucky that I never signed a NDA, but he was never smart enough to ask me to. In the beginning of our relationship I had no clue how controlling and inhumane he would be so I would have gladly signed it. Just as I took his word that he would take care of me financially and I relocated to Portland Oregon and stopped stripping, which took away my largest source of instant income, which was what my monthly allowance was to make up for. Allowance monthly was by design so I would never be stuck with a man for his money. Well now he is trying to keep me stuck in his life by withholding my back allowance and I have to play nice in hopes of him keeping his word. Which so far seems tainted when it comes to relationships and financial security and personal financial independence other than his own.
When you date a younger woman and promise to take care of her financially you need to keep that promise even if she wants to leave because no one should be around another for just money. And why would Tae Roh want a relationship based on the power of witholding money when I was just fine financially before him and spent more money and retained my freedom. Plus, he calls my best career year, the year when I stayed home to learn to be a housewife. How insulting! Women like me have no problem leaving a man in the dust, but she will get what she has earned.