I sit here at my desk(in Oregon) brainstorming about what to include in my next magazine column(Strip Club Journals Unbound) which has a lingering deadline around the corner. This past month I have traveled across the nation and back and then some. This is the most personal appearances I have made in a very long time for my career and for the big picture, as a business and an individual artist.
I have become the writer at heart I truly am. The woman who prefers to write in her pjs with her puppy, rather than dress up and have hair and makeup done to go to an event to smile and charm people. Networking is apart of my job and yes I do love meeting new people. However, manifesting my dreams is the largest part of my job that no one really sees. I write in the middle of the night staring out at the street lights on empty city weeknights. I take notes at fashion shows with a glass of white wine in my other hand so I do not stain my designer dress. I write on airplanes and get odd looks from the people around me who innocently glance at my computer screen only to be mortified(especially in Utah).
My lifestyle and career have changed. I have changed and I have grown. I have created an amazing platform within the adult industry.
Now what to do with it all is the real question?
“Being my own boss was the best decision I ever made by mistake!” ~Zi-Fi
Normally, people think traveling and associate it quickly with leisure, relaxing, and sight-seeing. Well in my world, I travel often, but only occasionally take a purely leisure trip. Yes, I love the ability to travel which my career allows. However, I would love to take more leisure trips then work trip this year after so much traveling on my own last year. Yes, perhaps this is an unrealistic expectation and an occupational hazard.
Work in the adult industry has allowed me to see so much of the country and a little of the world. Perhaps, the travel bug I was born with has finally fully emerged and I am afraid to set it aside for fear of missing out on the world. Yet, I have the desire to have a career and a retirement plan. Yes, these are all first world problems and I know they seem very minute to the average American. However, I have given up so much to embody the life I have created. I have given up marriage, children, having a partner in life, unconditional love, and real life for many years to survive in the adult industry(I have to preface that not everyone gives up as much as I did, but the adult industry, stripping, and all the different opportunities and niches took top priority in my life).
After making the jump into stripping and realizing that there was no turning back I wanted to make the most of it as possible with the resources I had being just a small town middle class girl at heart. I had no clue what I had done when I entered the black lights and the strip club. Little did I know I had just entered the adult industry and my world would be forever changed. Not always for the best, but every career has its pros and cons.
Some decisions we make never thinking it may be one of the most impactful decisions in our life.
“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” ~Keri Russell
P.S. Vegas bound Saturday, wish me luck on acting carefree and having a good time.
This Christmas SDBF and I spent in Palm Springs, California. We took my new puppy on his first airplane ride and vacation. I enjoyed seeing him travel and the lifestyle he will become accustomed to. Much like I will become accustomed to the lifestyle I have chosen. Calming down my lifestyle has been an extremely rough transition. Now my security is greater than just financial, which is different. However, the change is not as easy as some would think. Change is never easy. Even when it is the right thing to do and preparations have been made. There will always be the instances/moments in which the urge to run back to my comfort zone surface. Comfort is relative just as reality is relative.
Happy Holidays and may 2015 be amazing for everyone!
“Grief is perhaps an unknown territory for you. You might feel both helpless and hopeless without a sense of a ‘map’ for the journey. Confusion is the hallmark of a transition. To rebuild both your inner and outer world is a major project.” ~Anne Grant
Here I sit in a pink bikini in Vegas poolside writng. I have made it back to Vegas yet again. Where it always feels like home. Oregon will always be home, because it is where I am from, but Vegas is My home away from home. The opportunity, warm dry weather, hustle and bustle amtmosphere and travelers make Vegas one place that literally never stays the same. New people come in daily for work, connventions, and vacation from all over the world. It is amazing just to watch and take it all in. Meeting people here is as easy as going out and networking. It is more about who you know in this day and age. Therefore, networking here is priceless. Everyone comes to Vegas for one reason or another, people from all walks of life and professions.
However, this trip to Vegas is a special first. It is the first time one of my good real life girlfriends from Oregon will be here when I am here. I arranged to meet her here before I even knew my work and travel plans. For me to actually commit is huge. I may have booked my airline ticket at the very last minute, but I made it to Vegas before she even arrived!
So cheers to being back in Las Vegas, writing in a bikini, and seeing real life Oregon girlfriends!
“I’m actually most comfortable when I’m in a bikini, running around on the beach, like, no makeup. It’s really free-feeling, whereas I’m always having to get dressed up and putting makeup on.” ~Ashley Tisdale
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