Month: December 2013

Password Purchasing

For years now, I have invited the world to read my journals without compensation. Sharing pieces of my soul with little to no return other than criticism. Readers do not realise the price I pay for being honest in a society filled with hidden agendas.
My freelance writings I will still post for everyone to read. However, rather then not writing like I have been doing and neglecting my passion, I have choosen to create password protected posts. If you would like to read these posts, simply put five dollars or more in my tip jar(via PayPal), put your email & PayPal name in a comment and it will be privately emailed to my personal email account. In return I will email you a password. Thank you for your understanding.

I am giving myself the gift of something I am passionate about and letting it back into my world without sacrificing my livelihood.


Compassion & Reverse Darwinism

Some nights at the strip club are more difficult than others. I have not spoken the truth about work in a long time because I love my job and the freedoms it provides me. The dancers vary greatly. They all have different backgrounds and varying education and evolutionary and maturity levels. Which is how it has always been, but I have grown and evolved over the years.

Compassion becomes difficult to have after many years in the industry. You see the same story over and over just with a different face and body. The girls who do not value themselves devalue us girls who do know their value, merely in their interactions with the customers. We all have issues, because we are human too. However when others issues begin to affect my work night that is when I start to get angry.

So let me tell you a little about the fantasy world some say I live in, especially my family. Reality is relative to everyone. The fantasy of being a dancer in a strip club is my reality. Tonight, I experienced reverse Darwinism at its finest. My second stage set of the night another stripper laid down on the edge of my stage and then customers proceeded to put money in her bikini bottoms. This is a girl that not only do I not talk to, but someone I do not want to talk to let alone touch and pretend to enjoy it. Especially, because I know that when I even come close to her I am risking getting contact high from one of her maladaptive coping mechanisms. Collective consciousness is enough, I do not need to be high on somebody else’s addiction.

Lastly, if I have worked with you at another club that does not mean I want to talk to you. If I did not like you at the first club, I am not going to like you now. Save your fake breath for someone who will believe you. I am not a customer and will not buy your lies.

Rant over!



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So You Think You Can Strip?!?!?

So you think you can strip?!?—-Strip Club Journals Unbound

The long-term effects of dancing in a strip club rarely are discussed. How does working in a strip club as dancer affect a woman in American society? Not the college students, drug addicts, or single moms who become strippers to make ends meet for a short period of time, but rather the women who make a career out of it. There are many different kinds of strippers, dancers, and entertainers in the adult industry. However, we all face similar issues and barriers, even after retirement. Working in the adult industry is something that never goes away fully.

“This is forever like the Scarlet letter. It never goes away. You will be dealing with the implications forever.” ~After Porn Ends

The adult industry has always been looked at by mainstream American society as taboo. The women who work in this industry are shamed for what they do. However, within the past few decades the adult industry has become a small slice of American pop culture. Somehow the counterculture is blending into mainstream society, but still strippers are looked at in a taboo manner. This seems to be the largest issue one must confront when considering becoming an entertainer in the adult industry. It is ironic that the largest effect of working in the adult industry is not the job itself, but the stigmas attached to it from the society we live in. Mainstream society flirts with sexuality nowadays and is naïve about it. Naïve enough to get gratification from going into the strip club, but yet at the same time looking down upon the women who work there as entertainers.

Sexuality is something that is not discussed openly in our culture. Just this past weekend, I overheard a dancer in the dressing room at work explaining that she had a nightmare about telling her parents she worked in a strip club. The really ironic part is she has been there for years and blossomed into a beautiful, confident woman. Why should anyone half to be secretive about something that helps them evolve, whether personally, financially, or both?

Strippers/dancers hide to protect ourselves from the judgements of society, because judgment is something that surrounds us for a lifetime. Often these judgments even come from our own families as well. They too are not immune to the judgments of society. Who would want their mother, their daughter, or their sister to grow up and work in the adult industry?

“I spent exactly 17 days in the pornography business and somehow these 17 days are supposed to define who I am for the rest of my life. But I hope that people can see me for who I really am.”
~Linda Lovelace(The poster child for the sexual revolution and star of “Deep Throat”)

Once people hear that you have worked in the adult industry they almost stop recognizing you as an individual person. Rather they look at you as an object, merely something they use to please themselves. It hurts not to be treated like a human, but rather like a sexual object. Isolation is almost guaranteed to be a side effect of working in the adult industry due to hours and judgements/stigmas of society.

Overall, the largest effect of working in the adult industry entertaining the masses, would be having to live in the same society that loves and dams you at the same time. What do you want to do with your life in the big picture? If it is something in the conservative mainstream public eye then choose wisely when entering the adult industry. It is a door one never walks all the way out of.


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