Stripper, Sugar Baby, Writer, and real life are just a few of the hats I wear in this life. Never yet have I found someone who can relate to all aspects. Therefore, I have stripper friends, sugar baby friends, writer friends, and real life friends(who knew me before I wore all these hats). Even my heart and soul have grown dividers. Boundaries and separating the worlds as much as possible is the only way to survive while keeping a heart and soul.
After stripping nationwide my body has been seen by thousands if not a million people. So rarely do I get the comfort of walking around a city and not seeing a strip club customer. I have not worked in some of my favorite places just so I can still have the freedom to exist as a human rather than a stripper in the public eye. True I do not care what people think, but it does effect how people treat me when I am out and about. The stripper stereotype is not something I can make people overcome in this lifetime. I just work around it, as a means to a more pleasant life.
As a sugar baby, I enjoy not being in the public eye so to speak. The ability to actually bond with an individual is a great change after stripping for years and focusing on my career window. Years of being the center of attention and the life of the party every night on a superficial shallow drunk level are enough to make anyone crave something more dynamic.
Sugar has allowed me to open up my heart to let people see the real me while still remaining a safe distance away. I need some time to remind me that kind hearted, loyal people do exist in the world. The idea of a partner in life is so very foreign. Yet appealing, but scary as hell after all the betrayal I have seen in the strip clubs. Does monogamy exist or is it just a myth? …This is a reoccurring question in my life!
Then there is being writer. I have blogged for about 4/ 5 years, written a monthly magazine column for almost two years, and I have freelanced for about two years. However, the fact that I write for the adult industry and have a background in stripping and sugar make people not take me seriously. Shocking, right? Heaven forbid a woman have beauty and brains and use them both. With time I can overcome this stereotype, but only with hard work and action.
Lastly there is real life, the hat I seldomly get to put on without disruption. My real life is a treat and yes I am overly protective of it. Stripping has allowed society to see me nude, writing has allowed society a window into my heart and soul. All I have left to myself is my real life. In my eyes it just make sense to invest in myself and my sanity by keeping my real life personal. Rarely can people understand this aspect, because they have never been so vulnerable publicly.
Windows surround me!