This past weekend, I visited Portland to see a girlfriend from working in strip clubs and to meet a few pots(always multi tasking). I arranged to meet three pots, two dinners and a coffee date. However, I only attended one dinner and one coffee date. The dinner date was very pleasant, but the coffee date was like a bad job interview.
In larger cities there are more options and opportunities for everything. Therefore, it allows for everyone in the sugar bowl to be more selective. Which is a very nice change from small town Oregon and jaded Las Vegas. Here in Portland, there are enough men looking for a sugar baby that I do not have to spend time with anyone I do not sincerely enjoy. Which changes the power dynamics of searching for a sugar daddy exponentially in a positive way.
Portland has become another one of my cities after this past weekend.
“Portland is quickly becoming one of those lovely, lush Third World countries where kinda-rich people retire with their money.” -Chuck Palahniuk
“Haters never win. I just think that’s true about life, because negative energy always costs in the end.” -Tom Hiddleston
Recently, I came to the conclusion that Mr. U does not have enough time as I require in his schedule. Which is understandable and something I sign up for as a sugar baby. Plus, who wants to be a needy sugar baby who has to ask for time. Needy is never an attractive look on anyone.
We recently came to an agreement/compromise, which will hopefully be the solution to keep our arrangement alive. After investing time, energy, and emotion into someone it is difficult to just throw them away, just as in any traditional relationship. However, retaining the ability to walk away at any moment is also a necessity. No one else should be in the driver seat of your life.
Accepting the fact that I am far from a priority is hurtful, but again it is what I signed up for entering the sugar bowl. I do have to mention that if I ever ask for anything financial it is taken care of quickly. This is how Mr. U shows he is invested in our arrangement. We all show affection differently.
Coming to terms with the arrangement I have with Mr. U was hurtful in a sense because it was a first. Never has an unmarried sugar daddy without children told me no so often to time together. Yet, at the same time, he will send me on my own vacations to keep me happy. What an interesting dynamic! When I first started sugaring these are the arrangements I dreamed of. However, after years of giving up traditional dating to be apart of the sugar bowl my needs have changed.
Affection is a basic human need, just as human touch and I am human too.
“Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.”
~C. S. Lewis
Different sugar babies are on different levels in life and sugar. Some even look at sugar as a means to an end, in which they seek to shallowly marry a man who is well to do. We all have different reasons for entering the sugar bowl.
At this point in my life and career, I do not want anyone in my life who makes me feel like a toy. There is no amount of money that can makeup for some disappointments. Sugar does mean taking disappointment in stride. However, when it becomes a pattern and when the money and gifts stop making up for time not spent together it is no longer a win win situation.
Independence provides options, and even some options money cannot buy!
Back to school time means so many different things for strip clubs. The first thing I think of when I think of back to school and stripping is college football! Who does not like to go out to a strip club after a football game. Also, thoughts of more customers in the clubs(after summer activities hault) and less competition due to some of the strippers going bak to school. Logistics can be in a strippers favor to not pursue continuing her education.
Yes, many strippers attend school and work at the same time. However, the two are a very difficult balancing act. They are on opposite ends of the spectrum of life. Men rarely go to a strip club to have an intelligent conversation. Therefore, schooling is almost a hindrance for strippers. No customer desires to feel inferior to someone they are paying to get naked on their lap.
Intelligence, therefore, becomes something that must be masked rather than celebrated while working in a strip club. This may sound like a simple task, but it is one of the most difficult barriers I have ever experienced. Learning to just nod, smile and bit my tongue when there are so many thoughts and opinions going through my head is beyond a challenge. The more intelligent one becomes the more difficult this task gets. Perhaps, this is why I have met very few strippers who have finished college while stripping.
By catering to strip club customers need to feel better about themselves, strippers become stigmatized as unintelligent. When in reality it takes a very intelligent person to play dumb well and believably. I randomly asked a business man at a hotel bar in Portland(which has more strip club per capita then Las Vegas) what he thought of strippers and back to school. His answer was simple yet surprising. He had never thought of the two together before. This speaks volumes about society’s perception of strippers.
Many professions involve marketing, public relations and sales, just as stripping. People who are not apart of the adult industry rarely think about all the sacrifice and commitment it takes to succeed in the adult industry. Success in any industry takes talent and intelligence. How can people be so shallow to think sucess in the adult industry is any different?
Education in the adult industry rarely comes from a book, but rather from experience.