So many feelings and so little time to deal with them. Since I stopped stripping and my magazine column went national, life is different than it ever has been before. I no longer dread going to work and the long commute. Stripping is something I have developed mixed feelings about. I loved it for years, but the last few years have been hard on my heart and soul.
Knowing that I have developed the skills to be successful at stripping, but no longer have the desire to use these skills is beyond frustrating. Being pawed by multiple men in a night and having my guard up all the time gets old and is draining. Always watching customers’ hands and being careful not to turn my back without paying attention, while at the same time acting sexy, happy, and carefree. No wonder I drank my way through most of my stripping career. Strip clubs are where lions prey on lambs. All forms of exploitation take place daily in strip clubs nationwide. Drug dealers, pimps, bikers, and pedophiles all frequent strip clubs. They prey on the new, naive, drunk, and high strippers, in an effort to use them for their own pleasure and/or profit.
The more years I spent in strip clubs the more deception I encountered and witnesseed. When the bad out weighs the good and the payoff, it is time to move on. However, this is a difficult chapter to close in my life because the world will always view me as a stripper. Especially because I write about stripping and have always been one to speak out about my experiences as a stripper.
I am blessed for the opportunities that being a stripper has provided. However, I am one of the few who left by choice and not forced by circumstances. Too many strippers I have witnessed leave the industry a skeleton of who they used to be, never to be found again.
I may be a skeleton of who I used to be before I entered the strip clubs. However, I have learned about so many different kinds of people. This knowledge will aide in any endeavor I choose.
“I guess it’s going to have to hurt, I guess I’m going to have to cry, And let go of some things I’ve loved to get to the other side
I guess it’s going to break me down, Like fallin when you try to fly,
Sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye”
― Carrie Underwood