The adult industry is simply not a place to take a heart. Emotionally bankrupt people are everywhere trying to break others. However, they are also the bread and butter of the adult industry.
Since I have left behind black lights and stilettos, I realized just how much the “real world” ignores emotions and feelings. Strip clubs are an escape for people who live in the “real world” as a way to cater to their own emotions/feelings without feeling weak/guilty. In American society, we still view emotions as a weakness rather than a strength. In strip clubs, customers view beauty, attention, and sexuality as love, affection, and intimacy.This confusion between the “real world” and the adult industry leads to many misconceptions.
The misconceptions about the adult industry are limitless in American society. Just as the “real world” is skewed to those of us in the adult industry. Will we ever understand one another? How does a person leave the adult industry behind? Can the adult industry even be left behind completely?
After witnessing the amount of deception that occurs in the “real world”, the adult industry becomes a safe place where intentions are vividly transparent. The “real world” has so many hidden agendas and disillusions. At least in the adult industry we know what people’s’ intentions boil down to, whether stated or not. The “real world” is a shade of grey that cannot be seen through. Let alone understood.
The “real world” cannot fathom being viewed as an object rather than a person. Yet, the “real world” walks into strip clubs every night to treat people as objects. And in turn those of us in the adult industry prepare to be treated as objects every night we make our way to work. This makes for the great divider between the “real world” and the adult industry. A divide that often cannot be bridged.
Ignorance is bliss or at least that is what they say. Knowing what it feels like to be treated kindly merely because you are visually appealing is a life changing experience when it becomes routine. Making a move, nearly overnight, from having crowds of people who gather around a stage throwing money at you based on how you look and move, to simply having the occasional middle aged guy steal peaks at you while you are grocery shopping in yoga pants, can be an ego punch felt deep on the insides. The residual pain is emotionally exponential. Suddenly all the intuition that you have developed about other people’s emotional needs and wants becomes a hinderance rather than a valuable skill. In the “real world” there is no monetary value in knowing about someones emotional bankruptcy unless you are in the psychiatric field. And once again ignorance is bliss because often people in the “real world” do not value or question their own emotional well being.
Living from the heart and being in the adult industry are possible, but a rarity. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, let us all take an emotional inventory and realize where we have emotional needs and wants that are not being met and/or are being met by a maladaptive coping mechanism(eg. strip club, sex, chocolate cake). Emotional bankruptcy is not necessary in the “real world” or in the adult industry. Explore the power of living from the heart. Happy Valentine’s Day!
“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.”
P.S. Avn Awards bound stay tuned for my adventures to come. ❤