Creative minds are the exceptions to many rules, while always predictably unpredictable. It takes bravery to live with our creativity as a gift, rather than a hinderance. Now add a career in the adult industry into the equation of being a creative person and wow you have just became the person everyone loves to hate and envy. Few people can relate to this scenario, but it occurs to all creative types who even freelance in the taboo adult industry.
Being a creative type who lives off the creation of art outside ones own body is difficult. Creating art with my body was more of an active flow state because of the type of creativity it is. Nowadays, I create art with my words, life and experiences, Finally, I am okay with being the starving artist type to a certain degree(for a short period of time). Also, the fact that I have a partner who indulges me with my creativity is my largest asset. A security net while manifesting ones dreams rarely occurs. Am I lucky by design, preparation, and/or true talent? I do not know. But I do know that I have an opportunity most creative people dream of so I must take a chance at a career that may never have a large financial payoff. Which is something I battle with still, even after giving stripping up a year ago(in April).
However, I do choose success to be included in my end game with tangible proof. Therefore, I keep networking and writing. At this point, when I actually make myself sit down and write, I know people pay attention and this is a priceless feeling. It is almost comparable to when I was on stage transforming my body into art. Now, I express my soul through my words alone late at night usually in my pajamas with messy hair too caffeinated to sleep in the silence of the city lights.
Stay tuned for the April edition of “Strip Club Journals Unbound” in Quest Magazine(@QMag) on male strippers and an interview with Christian Desire from Magic Mike XXL and The Show Buns and Bowties.
A big thank you to Chris Meggs(@meggs_chris), a wonderfully talented photographer and owner of MeggsWorld.com, for the introduction to the owner of The Show Buns and Bowties: JJ McGraw.
Cali Carter was a woman on a mission at the AVN Expo 2015. She was actively there everyday and working the Expo like a true professional should, in any industry. Obviously Cali has figured out: the more she turns on her shine and powers through the long hours at events/conventions like this, the more success she will encounter in her career in the adult industry. Thus, leading her to other opportunities that will allow her dreams to come true. Cali Carter is the kind of woman who will achieve success in whatever form she deems it(whether adult industry related or not).
Luck is preparation meeting opportunity and Cali Carter is definitely preparing for success and longevity in the industry.
Today, I came to the realization that there are too many open chapters in my life. I spend so much time transitioning between the different worlds I exist in. I end up spending almost all my energy on transition rather than forward momentum.
I need security to leave parts of my world behind as I have known it for almost a decade. It will be a year in April since I have stripped. This is the longest I have gone without stripping since I started and I only rarely miss it. I do miss being on stage and performing, but I in no way miss getting naked on strangers’ laps. Also, I do miss the instant gratification. Rarely, have I found it to exist in the “real world”.
So, here I am stuck in between a rock and a hard spot. I have a writing career, which is my passion. However, I write about my experience in the adult industry and the wisdom I gained along the way of navigating the road less taken. Unfortunately, to be taken seriously in the “real world” I have to do something outside of the adult industry, distance myself from the fantasy and stigmas. This is something I have been fighting with for a couple of months because I know it is logically wrong. However, capitalism and American society is far from logical.
The fact is most people will never understand, let alone appreciate, how hard I have worked to get to this place within the adult industry. I am one of the lucky ones, who got to exit the adult industry by choice and has the opportunity to pursue my dreams/happiness. Part of this happiness is finishing what I started in the adult industry; to give myself a firm foundation to work my way into a more mainstream market/industry.
The next few months I will be working on closing some of the chapters in my life. I need to simplify my life and finish a book or two so I have a product with residual income. This will allow me to leave stripping and the sugar mentality behind. After investing my youth into the adult industry, I need a tangible residual return on this investment before I am ready to completely close this chapter
So time to find a writing place where Zen and my creativity flows. Stay tuned to see where I end up… I am thinking sand and ocean, but maybe it is not a physical place?!? This is the scary question plaguing me. If I submerge myself fully into my zany creative self and allow myself the time alone to write will I succeed or will I drown in the deep end of writing. Only time will tell.
Here I go!
…We all have to make the most of what we are given in this lifetime and give in to the future.
Writing about the adult industry is my niche. It allows me the freedom and opportunities to put my passion to work. However, the adult industry is my past. Yes, I may be an expert of sorts, but it is also a world I am trying so hard to transition out of. Learning to not remain a stripper has been a journey with more work than actually learning how to become a stripper when entering the adult industry.
I wake up every morning saying yes today I will write about porn stars. However, I dread it because I have to return to the state of mind I am trying to escape. I am no longer a drinker. I sleep at night. I eat non-bar food daily. I use my heart. I have a puppy. I have only one man I touch and who sees me naked.
It is my life that has changed, the industry has stayed the same.
After years in the adult industry as a stripper, sugar baby, and writer I never really got into porn. Of course, I watched it as a youngster in college and worked with feature dancers in strip clubs, who were also adult actresses. However, I have not watched porn since I first entered the adult industry many years ago.
The AVN Expo was like a large crash course in porn. I had no idea how much I was missing out on or what I was getting myself into. Porn is huge and the adult industry would not be even close to the same without it. However, it is ironic how the adult industry and the entertainment industry overlap. Yet we are viewed so differently within society.
Why the stigma? There is sex in mainstream movies. The only difference between the two is in porn all body parts are shown without shame. Victorianism has made a career for many of us who are willing to deal with the ramifications of being stigmatized by society.
This is the common ground I have with adult actors and actresses. I live with the stigmas of the adult industry just as they do. Add the facts that I am not a porn fan (not that it is wrong whatsoever) and I retain the ability to interact with porn stars who may intimidate others with their fame; this just may be the perfect fit for me. People are people and I love good people.
Adult actors and actresses are simply other members of the adult industry trying to make a career out of a taboo.
Check out Adventures Of The Mayor my new partner in crime and my own personal porn guru!