If you have not read my first post on gang stalking please do so here. Gang stalking is a form of harassment and abuse I have experienced my whole life as the scapegoat of a large multigenerational Russian Orthodox narcissistic family cult. When the heads of this cult died, when I was eight and ten years old, is when they got more ruthless and less effective without rule. My Grandmother was the only one I respected, because she was the only one who could tell my BPD Mother no. After the death of my Grandmother and Grandfather there was no one left to keep their eight living children in line. This is when the real chaos began, not that it was lacking abuse, dysfunction, and trauma to begin with.
In January, when I wrote my first post on gang stalking, I stated I will be sharing my experiences from now on to show the tactics that are used that seem harmless. Well this month has been more eventful than I would have guess or expected. However, my birthday month is March and that always brings more excuses to covertly harass me in the name of being nice. This is the same excuse that makes the holidays a time I do not look forward to, thus writing about gang stalking in January.
The above photo is the last text message my Mother sent me in 2018. I only received this text message because I had my phone wiped clean and forgot to block her again. On March 4, 2018, my Mother texted me to talk about my holidays. Yes, I travel normally for the holiday season, but the holidays are over January first. Can you smell the disdain in her text if you read between the lines? However, in March(my birthday month) her sisters will ask about me and expect a gossipy update on my life from her. If she does not have a scoop of new information that cannot be found on my blog or social media she will be the one who gets gossiped about.
The next communication I received from my Mother is the email above, which I received February 2, 2019(see how the time of year is predictable). Can you tell she worked in medical collections? My Mother is one to threaten things and freedoms, rather than love. Although, this is the first time she told me that she loved me since I visited her for the last time in fall 2017. This was the trip she woke me up vacuuming at 8am, even though she knows I have PTSD and being in the house where I was abused is really hard on my nervous system. These messages seem harmless, but the backstories frame them in a way that makes toxic people reframe and gaslight.
This morning I woke up to a message from my little Brother on social media. He is my Mother’s ultimate flying monkey. My little Brother is my weakness when it comes to emotion and love for my family. When he was born I told my Mom, “it is like meeting a stranger you already love.” I do not know my brother very well. We never have or will be close, but I do love him. My Mother’s fear tactics did not work a few weeks prior, so it only makes sense my Brother would try next and use love as his ploy. When I first discovered narcissism I told my Brother to escape. However, with further research I learned the Golden Child is normally a narcissist himself and rarely escapes. Emotional incest is what describes my Mother’s relationship with him.
So the gang stalking this month seems really harmless and like I am overacting without a bit of the backstory. These are the kinds of messages I have become accustomed to receiving since I stopped talking to them on a regular basis(almost five years ago). I realized they have been waiting for my weak moment, for me to have an emotional meltdown, and give into the crazy label they have assigned me. Every time before when I have gone no contact I have given in, but this time I refuse to give. I have been through a hellish breakup, relocated a few times, been fighting for my physical health like never before and I still refuse to speak to them.
When you have had enough abuse, you have had enough.
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