Here I sit in Eugene at a diner awaiting eggs in the early morning hours. Tonight, I drove home from Portland to spend time in Eugene for the weekend. After the past few weeks and the whirl winds they have entailed I needed a much deserved breather to think and put everything into perspective. I am still unsure how to measure success in my world compared to success in other peoples worlds. However, everything seems to be falling into place and I am happy with the freedom I have achieved. Finally I feel like I have broken through to the large barrier between people who do what they have to in order to survive versus people who do what makes them happy. Even when I was on the verge of this moment I had a difficult time relating to the people in small town Oregon, even my own so called friends, both real life and industry. Now, that I am actually on the other side of this financial barrier, I am even further away from people. I simply cannot relate to their life styles or choice and/or decisions. Yet in turn they cannot relate to my life and/or decisions.
When I get ready to come home to Eugene I always get this overwhelming excited feeling of all things home. Then I get here and remember why I keep leaving. Once leaving home I have never been able to truly go back, maybe it was never home to begin with? However coming “home” sure enables me to appreciate who I am not!
Be yourself, we are meant to be originals.
You can never go home again, but the truth is you can never leave home, so it’s all right. ~Maya Angelou