The past few months have been filled with travels, but unlike usual this time I was not just traveling: I was moving. This means I have had no home for this time period(40 days may seem short, but it felt like a whole separate lifetime). People tend to forget the stress of not having the security of a home, real meals, and sleeping in your own bed. Especially, when they are used to you traveling often. People take for granted what they do not know is sacred until it is taken away. I went from having three homes in two different states to homelessness, half by design and half by life lessons and poor choices. And to top it all off, finances had absolutely no part in the equation.
Finally this past weekend, I moved into my own condo in Vegas. This is the first time I have lived alone since I stripped in small town Oregon. It is extremely ironic, after I disappear for over a year to recover from stripping, people still expect the actions of a stripper out of me. In actuality it is the complete opposite. I just want to write and cook casseroles in my pajamas with my puppy at home. I worked for years in small town Oregon from 10pm-2am almost every night to get to where I am today. People do not see the hard work I have put in to be where I am today and often they take my efforts in vain and/or for granted. No I do not want to go out at night to get drunk and talk to people because that feels like stripping with my clothes on. Who wants to work for free?!? I drank mostly to forget stripping and make it the most profitable experience as possible. Why do people who live ordinary lives expect people in the adult industry to not have the desire or need for a little ordinary too?
“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” ~Maya Angelou