The big picture is something that is greatly overlooked in the adult industry. Customers rarely see past the lap dance, champagne room, and the fantasy. The dancers rarely see past the money.
With all this clouded vision I asked entertainers (who have been in the industry five or more years), “How has the industry changed you/your life?” Dancers were reluctant to reply with feedback to this question, which is odd. Normally, feedback is not something I have to seek out too much. In this case though, perhaps dancers were reluctant to think about the issue and then share their realizations about their own lives.
Seeing past the money hurts, just as the fantasy loses its glitz and glamor when it becomes real.There was one commonality in every single response I received. This did surprise me. The extent of the effects of this issue is large in my life, but I never realized I was in such good company. The issue is simple, yet complex all at the same time. “Dating is hard,” stated bluntly by a dancer. I learned this after the first year or two I was in the industry. It takes a strong man to trust a dancer and understand it is just a job, a means to an end. This makes many men feel threatened and/or insecure, which is something that just is what it is.
We cannot change society and society does not paint a pretty picture of strippers.”People already think that strippers are whores, junkies, and drunks. So they look down on you. However, You don’t have to be a stripper to be a whore, drunk, or a junkie.” This was a great quote from another response I received. If we live in a society that judges strippers poorly, then it is logical that most people in the society will follow suit and judge strippers poorly too. Thus, men in relationships with strippers will judge them as well. This is pure logic, but it does not mean it hurts one’s heart any less!
The adult industry also changes what dancers value emotionally. “Now, it’s the emotional connection that I crave,” put gracefully by a dancer who made me feel at ease when I first started in the industry. After experiencing all the sexuality and seeing how much people value sex(rather than intimacy) in our society, being valued as an individual becomes extremely important. Dancers want to know that we are valued for more than just how we look. We know how to attract attention, but when we get attention without trying is when we truly value it the most. The adult industry is all about appearances and catering.
Well, if the adult industry caters to American society, then why would society look down upon the adult industry workers? We are the ones who make their fantasies closer to reality then they ever could on their own. Why do people look down upon women who empower themselves with their own sexuality? These women are brave to embrace their own sexuality as a strength rather than a weakness.
Society may be over sexed, but dancers working in the industry as a career see past the sex that society craves. Sex is a drug. Everyone has a different quitting point and some people never stop. Intimacy and emotional connection are the true goals in relationships. Sex can be amazing when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, rather than just using another person to fulfill your mamalistic desires/human needs. This is something that every dancer knows who has given a dance on an afternoon shift to an older successful man who was already emotionally dead before 50 years old.