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ZiFi Personal May 3rd, 2017

@ZiFiStripClub

Writer’s Rambles

Where to start?!? So much has been going on lately. Last week were the XRCO awards in Hollywood, California. As always, I learned more about myself than any thing else at this event. The biggest realization is:  I like not being in the spotlight anymore. I remember what it was like and I relate it to working in a petting zoo(aka the strip club industry) and being on display. I in no way get paid enough nowadays as a writer to be treated like a piece of meat or zoo animal, that is something I have left in the past.

However, with my career as an ebook author, I am going to have to become more comfortable with having a public presence again.  This is a realization I had while I was recovering from my last breast augmentation surgery. My looks will always matter, there is no running from getting judged for how you look. There is only using it to your advantage.

Using my appearance and sexuality to my advantage, rather than having it be a detriment, are things I have not been comfortable with in the past two years. My first set of breast implants were becoming encapsulated with scar tissue thus making me feel and look sick. So for over two years, I did not feel comfortable in my own skin. This was the weirdest feeling ever after working in the adult industry and having to be comfortable in my own skin because often that was all I had on.

Now, six months after my second breast augmentation surgery, I am finally starting to feel like I look normal. This has been the longest process ever. Just figuring out what was wrong took me two years and not listening to many drs and highly educated professionals. Overall a feeling of gratitude is washing over me finally. Last month I did an extremely intense charcoal detox and this month I am reaping the benefits.

Now my readers will understand my obsession with living a healthy lifestyle. Being healthy is not something I learned to value because it comes easy for me, but because I have had to work really hard to get and maintain a healthy lifestyle. My life has changed in many ways because now I live for the big picture.

Xoxo

ZiFi

@ZiFitripClub

Thank you to everyone who has purchased and read my last ebook: A Decade On A Pole. Please review the book on Amazon or iTunes

A Decade On A Pole <—- Click Here To Purchase and Review

@ZiFiStripClub

 

My Week In Vegas

I returned to Vegas last Thursday night. It has been a week of recovery from my Portland adventure and reflection on life changes. Most people come to Vegas to party, gamble, and drink. I, on the other end of the spectum, come to Vegas to relax, recover, and reflect. Life here is just easy. I wake up most mornings, throw on a bikini, grab my ipad, and go write in the backyard poolside. Even when I go out it is easy, because sex is thrown in everyone’s face here constantly. It is pleasant to go out and not be gawked at. I have not stripped since April, but I still maintain my long nails and appearance.

A week in the desert, in a bikini poolside, will clear anyone’s anxieties about daily life and put perspective on the big picture.

Which is what life truly is…

Xoxo
Zi-Fi
@ZiFiStripClub

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~Melody Beattie

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The Truth

Yes, I want more of a “real” life and yes I do want to commit to someone in my life! However, timing is everything! Currently, I am defining what my life will look like in the big picture, more than ever before.

Yes, there is a special someone who I would like to be closer to, but that again adds barriers. We both value our careers and we are both driven, which are great traits to have normally. However, living in different states and both pursuing our careers would leave very little time for us.

I am trying to be logical, but it hurts!

“Real” should not have the limitations of sugar without the compensation.

Xoxo

~Zi-Fi

“Emotions can make or break you. Be true to your feelings!”

~Zi-Fi

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