All narcissists are not the same in the way they wage war on your heart and soul. Some are covert and others are overt. The differences are great in the tactics they use and how they come across, but the end result is narcissistic abuse. Richard Grannon describes covert as using the same tactics as Communism and overt as the Nazi regime. This explanation brought things into perspective more clearly than ever before.
I grew up Russian Orthodox with a BPD/Narc Mother who still speaks broken English when she gets upset.(The Offspring Of Evil-Growing UP Communist) Communism is nothing new to me, however the idea that covert Narcissists are basically Communists was an eye-opening realization. As a child, my Mother would tell me she was beating me because she loved me and it was for my own good. So from early on I was conditioned to think that abuse was love. This is the communist war tactic. They do not tell you that they hate you, they disguise their hate as love. This is a pattern that has repeated in my life over and over. However, the truth can set one free and I am here to say that no one has to accept this definition of love.
People who truly love you will not abuse you. People do not physically or emotionally neglect someone they love. This is not a delusion that you have to keep on living. Real humans love each other and show it with affection and attention. This affection and attention does not hurt, it heals and nurtures. For those of us who have found ourselves in relationships that include narcissistic abuse, we no longer have to operate with the false belief that love hurts. Real love does not harm or hurt.
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