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dealing with a narcissist

Are You A Victim or Survivor After Narcissistic Abuse?

There are three main stages of narcissistic abuse recovery:  Victim, Survivor, and Thriver. Learning where you are in recovery can help you realize how much further you have to go in healing. We are all in recovery for life, but it is nice to know when to expect the Thriving stage to begin. Are you a victim or survivor?

Victim 

  • Facing horrific betrayal
  • Hurt
  • Confusion
  • Rejection
  • Denial
  • Shame
  • Anger at the narcissist
  • Abandonment
  • Loneliness
  • Angry at yourself for not knowing
  • Anger at yourself for time lost
  • Fear-what will I do now

Survivor

  • Not ready to forgive
  • Struggling to rebuild life
  • Getting counseling
  • Ready to be back to self
  • Trust issues still present
  • Learning self-care
  • Re-evaluating friendships
  • Anger is less, but still triggered
  • Hopeful
  • Trigger based depression
  • Learned self-soothing
  • Uncovered childhood trauma
  • Rebuilding life

Xoxo

ZiFi

Connect with me:

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Do you have a question or a topic on narcissistic abuse you would like me to write about? Please comment here or email me at ContactZi@yahoo.com

Source:

Stages of Recovery after Narcissist Abuse

The Journey, Meredith Miller

Living In Fear-Cluster B Personalities

Remember years ago when the site Ashley Madison was hacked and personal information was leaked to the public? (Read More Here) This is a perfect example of cluster b personality disordered people’s fears coming true. These people live in glass houses and will do anything to keep their glass house/image/ego in tact. If you were an inhuman human would you want people to know? No, because then you would lose so many opportunities to suck the happiness out of others and people would know to keep you at arms distance.

Cluster B personalities live in fear. Their brains do not operate out of love or even know love biologically. Pathology does not love, it destroys. So, the root of the problems with these people starts when we let them close. They are normally highly functioning in society and so they can be hard to spot at times.

The best strategy for dealing with cluster b personality disordered people is to know their fears, because these fears rule their lives. It is sad, but life is very predictable for cluster b people because their default emotions are fear, greed, jealousy, and a few other negative emotions. Without empathy life is really black and white, which explains their inability to see shades of grey, reorganize their thoughts/beliefs, or admit to their own mistakes/weaknesses.

Fears of a Cluster B Personality

  • Abandonment
  • Loss of Control
  • Loss of Resources
  • Fear of Feeling/Looking Inadequate
  • Fear of People Figuring Them Out

As someone who has been exposed to Cluster B personalities from birth, I just assumed some people were evil. However, now I know these people are mentally ill. I started this blog to protect myself and after reviewing the fears of cluster b personalities I now know why I have written about my life for so many years.

When you are close to a cluster b personality disordered person, document your life with them. Take pictures whenever you can and journal about their behaviors. The longer you are around these people, the more confusing their actions. However, the more you can document the more their fears are brought into play, because then they have to worry about being exposed, loosing resources, being abandoned, loosing control, and feeling and/or looking inadequate!

The best weapon with cluster b personality disorders is the truth. They hate the truth and do not want to admit to what they have done.

Up next how to control cluster b personality disordered people when you are not close to them.

Xoxo

ZiFi

Sources

Spartan LIfe Coach YouTube Channel (Click Here)

Women Who Love Psychopaths by Sandra L. Brown

#CrazyMaking-Psychopaths, Sociopaths, & Narcissists

 

#CrazyMaking

When dealing with psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists communication is one of their favorite weapons. These people are not human in the fact that they only really feel alive when they are punishing someone else and they enjoy inflicting pain. The internal biology of their brain does not allow them to experience the world and people in the way most of us do. They seek out to hurt people and control things with an intent to make you worry, question who you are, sit at home alone, make you sad, take a piece of your soul, emotionally neglect you, and see how far they can push you. Psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists wage war on your soul, but disguised as love.

The following are ways to tell if a person in your life(whether at home, work, school, etc) has physcopathic traits. When confronting a psychopath, sociopath, and/or narcissist about their behavior these are the tactics they use to make you feel crazy:  Crazy Making.

  • Twisting words
  • Projection
  • Lying
  • Manipulation
  • Black and white thinking-no grey areas in their life/thinking
  • Word Salad-they literally do not make sense, flip things around on you to make you the one at fault
  • Circular conversations
  • Triagnulation-they bring a third-party into a situation/conversation(ex. “Should we call your Mom to see what she thinks of that?”)
  • Never ending argument-circular logic(ex. “Yes, but…”) they bring up your past as deflection and may throw in some word salad
  • Gaslighting-ex. “No I wasn’t…” they often outright deny their actions to make you question your reality and perception “You always…”
  • Condescending
  • Know it all
  • Patronizing
  • Accuse you of the things they are doing. Ex. cheating, lying, ect. This is projection.
  • Multiple personas-ex. good cop, bad cop… you will see multiple personas throughout an argument, they make you feel upset to get your reaction and then are your savior by helping you to calm down and find logic
  • All they do is make Excuses-Excuse, rationalize, blame, shame, and guilt trip is the pattern that takes place with their excuses
  • Hyper critical of people
  • Stone walling

These conversations are meant to leave us drained and confused. Psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists are parasitic people who enjoy making others crazy with manipulation and control tactics. The only way they feel alive and powerful is through hurting other people and/or making people miserable. Self protection is what drives them to do these things when confronted with their own actions because they cannot admit they are wrong and do not want to take responsiblity. How dare you hold them responsible for their own behavior? Even though they hold others accountable. When confronting a psychopath, sociopath, and/or narcissist you can only guarantee that you will feel dazed and confused after. Nothing like someone denying what they just did in the last breath.

Stone Walling is a huge tactic used by these people. They “punish’ you by refusing to talk. Sometimes they storm out, but overall it is a Loud heavy Silence that surrounds you. They leave people hanging to create anxiety and this is how they make people apologize for things they did not do. They work to make you silent. If you would not confront them then this would not happen. Ex. “I’ve had it…”

This tactic of stone walling a communication creates a feeling of isolation that makes us apologize. They do this on purpose to hurt people and they do know when they are doing something wrong or hurting someone. However, they hurt people on purpose in order to feel good.

If you see these actions in any of your interactions educate yourself. Education is the best tool when dealing with someone who wants to take your happiness for their own. Adult parasites surround us!

Xoxo

ZiFi

Sources:

Spartan Life Coach, YouTube Channel >>Click Here<<

We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, YouTube Channel >>Click Here<<

Women Who Love Psychopaths, By Sandra Brown >>Click Here<<