Going no contact after narcissistic abuse is not always an option. No contact is merely removing toxic people from your life in all ways. Changing your phone number, moving, and blocking people on multiple social media platforms is not always a possibility. Although, it is a great way to make a new beginning feel extremely new and fresh. When you cannot completely cut people out of your life, such as co-parenting, using the grey rock technique is another valid option.
The grey rock technique is a way to separate yourself emotionally from a narcissist/toxic person. It involves no longer reacting emotionally to the person along with not investing emotionally. Treat them as a stranger that you do not love and you do not hate, but you merely feel neutral about. Nothing annoys and detours a toxic person like indifference. Cluster b personality disorders do not believe they can be unimportant in someone’s life. Therefore, if you show them just how unimportant they are via your communication style, they will stop communicating with you as much because you are not mirroring their inflated importance back to them.
“By remaining emotionally unresponsive to the narcissist’s bait and prompts, you reduce your worth in their eyes.”
This is a technique that takes time to perfect. When you first leave a narcissistic abusive relationship your biological reactions are on high alert, but after time this calms down. Grey rock is incredibly easy when the narcissist no longer has any control over you and/or your life. Yes, it takes awhile to get to this destination, but this is where the feelings of indifference are rooted. Pretend they are nothing to you and you never allowed them to hurt you because they thrive on your reactions.
“Hurting people gives them the feeling of the control. Control over other people. They enjoy being able to manipulate you in an emotional bankruptcy, being empowered to influence your state of mind.”
Grey Rock is the greatest acting role you will have in this lifetime and your recovery depends on it. Once you have mastered this technique to ward off toxic people you will realize you can do anything. Your feelings do not have to rule your life, no matter how big and overwhelming they are.
Book A Session
Many people have approached me with questions regarding how to know if they have experienced narcissistic abuse. In our society, we do not often treat the root issue, but rather treat the symptoms. Therefore, the signs of narcissistic abuse can often become the focus themselves rather than discovering the root issue of narcissistic abuse.
Here are 16 signs of narcissistic abuse:
- Anxiety and/or depression.
- Health issues and/or autoimmune diseases.
- Walking on eggshells.
- You put your needs/wants/desires on the back burner.
- Self isolation.
- Compare yourself to others.
- Self sabotage and self-destruction.
- Fear of success.
- Gaslight yourself(ex. rationalizing, minimizing, denying).
- Low self-esteem.
- Feeling like you are going crazy.
- Nothing you do is good enough.
- You feel ignored and/or invisible.
- Overachiever or underachiever.
- Poor sense of self.
- You fear you are a narcissist.
If you can relate to these symptoms of narcissistic abuse, then it is time to reevaluate who you are surrounding yourself with and take the steps necessary to resolve the root cause. Be brave and know that being alone is way better than dealing with these unhealthy symptoms that will eventually take over your life.
Connect with me on Facebook
Do you have a question or a topic on narcissistic abuse you would like me to write about? Please comment here or email me at ContactZi@yahoo.com
11 Signs You’re the Victim of Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic Abuse: 16 Subtle Signs a Narcissist is Abusing You
8 Signs of Narcissistic Abuse
Cluster B personality disorders are something we do not talk about in society often enough. These people are biologically different from the rest of society: inhuman humans. Empathy is the massive missing key they will never attain. Cluster B people cannot correct their disorder with medication and/or therapy. However, their behaviors can be changed on a conscious level if they choose to address them.
Have you ever seen a person with hollow empty eyes? A person who seems to be missing their soul? Have you noticed someone with the absence of empathy or ability to relate to others? Do you know someone who believes they are extremely better than everyone else? These people have personality disorders.
Borderline Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder are all cluster B personality disorders. BPD people have experienced trauma before 18 months of age and their brain activity reflects their lack of ability to process and feel emotions. Being human to them is not an option biologically. They are the emotional cluster B personality disorder: emotionally unstable and unregulated. BPD people often grow into a “dark triad” due to their mistreatment of others. If they admitted and took accountability for their actions their self-perception would be damaged.
People with BPD move on to become covert narcissists and sociopaths. This sounds outlandish right? Yes, it does, but it is way easier to believe in cluster B personality disorders than these people having a heart just like you and me. They believe they are good people because they do not possess the feelings the rest of us do that enable us to identify how we are making others feel. If you cannot feel the pain you cause others, then you will just cause more pain. The way their brain works is sadly simple and noncomplex.
These are black and white people who do not see shades of grey!
Thrive After Abuse, You Tube Channel >>Click Here<<
Science Daily, Borderline Personality Traits Linked to Lower Empathy >>Click here<<
We Need To Talk with Kris Godinez, Yout Tube Channel >>Click Here<<
Spartan Life Coach, You Tube Channel >>Click Here<<