The past week has been one of the most stressful weeks in years. I had breast augmentation sugery on Tuesday, between the unknown and pain I was beyond overwhelmed. Rarely am I one to be so vulnerable in front of others. However, this decision made showing emotions in front of others inevitable.
Also, this gave me the amazing opportunity to witness others true colors. There were some people who really surprised me. Not all were pleasant surprisees, but valuable nonetheless. I am quickly learning location does not really matter with real friends or important people in your life.
My sugar girlfriends have been the most supportive and helpful throughout this past week. Even though some of them are literally half way across the globe, distance is relative. They can fathom and understand what it is like to make big decisions on your own.
Independence cannot be explained it has to experienced.
‘I truly believe that women should be financially independent from their men. And let’s face it, money gives men the power to run the show. It gives men the power to define value. They define what’s sexy. And men define what’s feminine. It’s ridiculous.’
Sitting on my bed in Oregon with a laptop on a rainy fall evening. A stranger messaged me on Facebook. This was and is a very common occurrence. However, little did I know this person would become apart of my heart and life for years to come.
A young 19 year old boy from southern California who was/is pursuing a music career had read my blog and found me on Facebook. This was a little unsettling, because readers normally assume they know it all about me. When in reality I just allow them a window into my heart and soul, not an all access pass. After we chatted for awhile, I knew he and I had/have similar outlooks on our careers. We both loved to entertain and shine on stage and off. Not many people can relate to this feeling. It is this energy that keeps entertainers alive and motivated.
Finding someone who can relate to being in the public eye and is passionate about what they create is rare. Many people seek fame. I seek success and have a need to be surrounded by positive people. These people are rare and hard to find. Yet, I found one from California in my bedroom in Oregon on a rainy fall evening.
Here I sit in a pink bikini in Vegas poolside writng. I have made it back to Vegas yet again. Where it always feels like home. Oregon will always be home, because it is where I am from, but Vegas is My home away from home. The opportunity, warm dry weather, hustle and bustle amtmosphere and travelers make Vegas one place that literally never stays the same. New people come in daily for work, connventions, and vacation from all over the world. It is amazing just to watch and take it all in. Meeting people here is as easy as going out and networking. It is more about who you know in this day and age. Therefore, networking here is priceless. Everyone comes to Vegas for one reason or another, people from all walks of life and professions.
However, this trip to Vegas is a special first. It is the first time one of my good real life girlfriends from Oregon will be here when I am here. I arranged to meet her here before I even knew my work and travel plans. For me to actually commit is huge. I may have booked my airline ticket at the very last minute, but I made it to Vegas before she even arrived!
So cheers to being back in Las Vegas, writing in a bikini, and seeing real life Oregon girlfriends!
“I’m actually most comfortable when I’m in a bikini, running around on the beach, like, no makeup. It’s really free-feeling, whereas I’m always having to get dressed up and putting makeup on.” ~Ashley Tisdale
Here I sit in Eugene at a diner awaiting eggs in the early morning hours. Tonight, I drove home from Portland to spend time in Eugene for the weekend. After the past few weeks and the whirl winds they have entailed I needed a much deserved breather to think and put everything into perspective. I am still unsure how to measure success in my world compared to success in other peoples worlds. However, everything seems to be falling into place and I am happy with the freedom I have achieved. Finally I feel like I have broken through to the large barrier between people who do what they have to in order to survive versus people who do what makes them happy. Even when I was on the verge of this moment I had a difficult time relating to the people in small town Oregon, even my own so called friends, both real life and industry. Now, that I am actually on the other side of this financial barrier, I am even further away from people. I simply cannot relate to their life styles or choice and/or decisions. Yet in turn they cannot relate to my life and/or decisions.
When I get ready to come home to Eugene I always get this overwhelming excited feeling of all things home. Then I get here and remember why I keep leaving. Once leaving home I have never been able to truly go back, maybe it was never home to begin with? However coming “home” sure enables me to appreciate who I am not!
Be yourself, we are meant to be originals.
You can never go home again, but the truth is you can never leave home, so it’s all right. ~Maya Angelou