how to recover from narcissistic abuse

Integration After Narcissistic Abuse

Studying and learning about narcissistic abuse is the easy part of recovery. Integration is what separates the survivors from the thrivers; the trauma based BPD bound from the individuals who go on to live the lives of their dreams. Intellectualizing what you experienced is something that even cluster b personality disordered individuals can do. Without the integration and practical application of what you have learned there is still a disconnect where people perpetuate narcissistic abuse.

This disconnect is deadly. It is almost better to be around a toxic person who is unaware of what they experienced, because then you know there is still hope if one day they choose to educate themselves and get honest. When someone understands logically the narcissistic abuse they have encountered, but remain detached enough to not apply what they learned to correct the issues; they themselves become a predator. The worst kind of predator is one who knows what they are doing, but plays dumb when confronted with the reality of their actions. This is not wisdom, this is cruelty.

Some people get stuck in the helplessness for moments in time and that is completely understandable. However, when this moment becomes a way of life that is when we need to identify the person as toxic. They have chosen to stay stuck in a toxic cycle and playing helpless is a manipulation tactic in itself.

Recovery is a lifestyle. A lifestyle of correcting your programming and knowing it is a life long process. When you know there will always be little things that come up and need to be addressed and changed, you are recovering. When you have intellectualized the abuse and do not implement change on a daily basis you are merely living in the past and acting out it out in the present.

Choosing to not be a victim and being empowered is the only way to get the life of your dreams. No one will hand you happiness on a platter, you must work for it. Mental clarity and health are a personal job we all have to address with integration of knowledge. Merely reading the books and watching the recovery videos is not enough. One must live the recovered life to fully recover. This does not mean perfection, but it does means progress on a daily basis.



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Some of my favorite recovery tools

What You Know About Gang Stalking?

What is gang stalking?

Gang stalking is simply a form of community mobbing and organised stalking combined. Just like you have workplace mobbing, and online mobbing, which are both fully recognised as legitimate, this is the community form. 
Gang stalking is organised harassment at it’s best. It the targeting of an individual for revenge, jealousy, sport, or to keep them quiet, etc. 

It’s organised, widespread, and growing. Some describe this form of harassment as, “A psychological attack that can completely destroy a persons life, while leaving little or no evidence to incriminate the perpetrators.” 

Growing up in a narcissistic extended family cult means you never get to forget the past and/or where you come from. The people/family members left behind will forever go out of their way to remind you they still exist and a complete escape is impossible. The heard mentality of a narcissistic family cult is all they have when it comes down to it. The one who escapes threatens their shared reality and their self worth. If you escaped that means they failed to escape, and there really is a world out there beyond the madness they perpetuate.

Kudearoff Family and Associates,

I invite you to keep up your toxic antics, but know I will be publicly sharing my experiences with gang stalking from now on. This is your warning and your way out of my story. No longer will I suffer in silence.




Instagram @zifi_writing


Spiritual Awakening After Narcissistic Abuse

After learning about Narcissists and Cluster B Personality Disorders, my whole life changed. No longer did I try to connect with my family and/or my partner in life. Finally realizing that “these people” are never going to understand me or my way of thinking. I found freedom from the chains that had held me stuck for a lifetime. The gap I had tried to bridge was like trying to get a black and white television to play in Technicolor. Cluster B personality disordered people are very much like a black and white television.

Realizing and coming to terms with the fact that I grew up in a Russian Orthodox Narcissistic multi-generational family cult was overwhelming. The facts went together easily, but the feelings in my heart did not follow with such ease. I still find myself pushing my emotional spectrum onto my family members and ex-partner in vain. For now, I know that biologically they do not have the ability to understand how my mind works and/or see the world in Technicolor.

After learning about my family, my partner, and narcissism my world collapsed as I knew it. I was no longer the “crazy” person I had been raised to believe I was. I am literally the only sane person in a large extended family where herd mentality rules. Learning that my struggles throughout my life had a rhyme and reason was the largest dose of freedom I have ever received.

How can one continue on this journey in life without having a spiritual awakening after learning of the lies they lived for a lifetime?




How To Recover From Narcissistic Abuse-12 Steps

After reading my last post(Signs You Have Experienced Narcissistic Abuse) and realizing you are suffering from Narcissistic abuse, what do you do now? Information is overwhelming and swirling through your head and up looks like down and right looks like left. Start here to get your equilibrium back.

How to recover from Narcissistic abuse:

  1. Go “No Contact”.
  2. Set healthy boundaries.
  3. Acknowledge the truth & forgive yourself.
  4. Heal your inner child.
  5. Activate your Vagus nerve & do an adrenal reset.
  6. Learn grounding techniques & self soothing.
  7. Allow yourself to grieve & be angry.
  8. Seek professional help.
  9. Work on self-esteem.
  10. Focus on things that you can control(ex. your own behavior).
  11. Understand why the narcissist acts the way they do.
  12. Remember narcissists are incapable of real feelings.

This is just a short list of things that will aid you in the healing process after narcissistic abuse. Be kind to yourself and learn to love the person you are, while starting this journey to be the best you possible. This is just the beginning of a beautiful journey to find the true you, the best version of yourself. Be patient with yourself and practise self-care along your journey.



Connect with me:


Instagram @Zifi-Writing

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6 Steps to Emotional Healing after Narcissistic Abuse (#1 is the most important!)

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