Learning how to take care of yourself and listening to your body is the first step in recovering from narcissistic abuse. After a lifetime of putting other people’s needs before your own, it is difficult to even know what your body needs and wants. And loving yourself seems like an out-of-body experience, because it has never been something that came naturally from within. Well, self-care is the journey to self-love.
After narcissistic abuse we all want to live our best lives. This means practical application of self-care to develop self-love in a healthy manner. Self-love is the foundation to a healthy and satisfying life. This seems so simple in theory, but let’s examine the root cause of this “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” as Ross Rosenburg puts it.
Self-Love Deficit Disorder is the outcome of being raised by toxic people who do not know how to honor themselves. Conditional love is the language these people speak. Thus motivated by our fear of not being loved, we learned very early to live by other people’s feelings rather than our own. Until we overcome this Self-Love Deficit we will continue to attract people who do not honor themselves into our lives.
When I first read about Ross Rosenburg’s Self-Love Deficit Disorder and Human Magnet Syndrome, I was shocked to the core. It made so much sense. Logically, I could see how these theories had played out in my life and in the narcissistic family cult I was raised in. However, I did not know where to go from here. How was I supposed to practice self-love if I had never experienced someone who actually loved themselves?
Radical self-care is the solution to Self-Love Deficit Disorder. Learning how to take care of your body, mind, and spirit are the building blocks to developing self-love. Once again this sounds entirely too simple, but it works. As a codependent empath, we are raised to cater to the needs and feelings of others. Now is the time to cater to our own needs and feelings in order to heal.
How do you practically apply this information into your everyday life? Create baby steps that add up and naturally snowball. For example, start taking your physical health seriously. I enjoy this approach because feeling better physically leads to better mental health. Some baby steps would be to start taking vitamins/supplements, do a parasite cleanse, take a long relaxing salt bath once a week, eat healthier foods, go for walks, go to the gym, sit in a sauna, get a massage, and/or start meditating. Pick a few self-care practices and do them on a regular basis. When you start to feel the payoff from these self-care practices you will want to add more into your life and the snowball effect will start to take place. Honor your body, mind, and spirit and only allow others into your life who do the same. This is how self-love is created.
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Some of my favorite simple self-care things:
- Extra Sleepytime Herbal Tea
- Essential Oil Diffuser
- Essential Oils-Clove Oil Specifically(helps heal codependency)
- Coconut Oil
- Turmeric Supplements
- The Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenburg