Here I sit in Oregon in a North face jacket and wholly jeans. Back to my roots and remembering how blessed I truly am. This past year has been a world-wind, but amazing and it just does not stop. Which is the goal and rule of thumb, hard work pays off when tenacious.
This January I will be attending the AVN awards as a writer for Quest Magazine. This is a full circle experience. My brains finally got me somewhere my body alone could not! It is an overwhelming achievement. I do not quite know how to process it all. I just hope for the best and have three months to perpare. After mostly just sugaring this year and not stripping much, I need to work out. Yes, I am still thin and not out of shape, but after years of physical activity at work and being athletic I feel like a bum.
Also, after watching a video interview from last year of Ron Jeremy I am nervous as to how people will perceive me. I am just a small town girl who entered the Adult industry as a stripper to purse her passion and found her niche in sugar. I look more like a normal person than apart of the adult industry nowadays. Of course some people would disagree, but compared to how appearance based used to be I am doing well. However, my worry is will the industry take me seriously if I do not look like one of them anymore?!?
“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.”
~Franklin D. Roosevelt
Portland bound for a long weekend. Leaving Vegas is always difficult. I love the sun, relaxing, and spending time poolside. Vegas is my Zen location to become grounded within the reality I have created for myself. The adult industry is not an easy place to exist in and call home! However, it is my livelihood/career. This may just be the industry I was destined for.
After my week of staying in and recovering, I decided to go out with a friend and be spontaneous. While we visited and meet others in the industry at different strip clubs, I suddenly remembered how and why I fell in love with it all. Not only was it the freedom, money, and glamour that drew me in, it was the excitement and thrill of the energy in the air. Nothing compares to being on stage while shining and doing what you love. Especially, when the crowd is paying attention, literally and figuratively.
Home is what you make of it. It just so happens I am home in the adult industry, the least expected place of all. However, I have found my people. Others may say we are damaged and delusional, but some of the kindest accepting people I have met are within the industry.
“The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”~Maya Angelou
I returned to Vegas last Thursday night. It has been a week of recovery from my Portland adventure and reflection on life changes. Most people come to Vegas to party, gamble, and drink. I, on the other end of the spectum, come to Vegas to relax, recover, and reflect. Life here is just easy. I wake up most mornings, throw on a bikini, grab my ipad, and go write in the backyard poolside. Even when I go out it is easy, because sex is thrown in everyone’s face here constantly. It is pleasant to go out and not be gawked at. I have not stripped since April, but I still maintain my long nails and appearance.
A week in the desert, in a bikini poolside, will clear anyone’s anxieties about daily life and put perspective on the big picture.
Which is what life truly is…
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~Melody Beattie
Here I sit in a pink bikini in Vegas poolside writng. I have made it back to Vegas yet again. Where it always feels like home. Oregon will always be home, because it is where I am from, but Vegas is My home away from home. The opportunity, warm dry weather, hustle and bustle amtmosphere and travelers make Vegas one place that literally never stays the same. New people come in daily for work, connventions, and vacation from all over the world. It is amazing just to watch and take it all in. Meeting people here is as easy as going out and networking. It is more about who you know in this day and age. Therefore, networking here is priceless. Everyone comes to Vegas for one reason or another, people from all walks of life and professions.
However, this trip to Vegas is a special first. It is the first time one of my good real life girlfriends from Oregon will be here when I am here. I arranged to meet her here before I even knew my work and travel plans. For me to actually commit is huge. I may have booked my airline ticket at the very last minute, but I made it to Vegas before she even arrived!
So cheers to being back in Las Vegas, writing in a bikini, and seeing real life Oregon girlfriends!
“I’m actually most comfortable when I’m in a bikini, running around on the beach, like, no makeup. It’s really free-feeling, whereas I’m always having to get dressed up and putting makeup on.” ~Ashley Tisdale