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life after the adult industry

Strip Club Journals 2018

@ZiFi_writing

Never did I imagine, I would still be writing this blog three years after retiring from stripping. I started Strip Club Journals in 2010 to process the emotions and experiences I faced in the adult industry. So where do I go from here?… Well the “real world” is without clear boundaries and this makes people flop like a fish trying to create their own boundaries. After leaving the adult industry, I found people actively trying to erode my personal boundaries and telling me I did not need them any longer because I was no longer surrounded by predators in the adult industry.

Well, these people are the predators. When people try to talk you out of your boundaries they are really just trying to manipulate you! This is something that is overwhelmingly common in the “real world”. Yes, people in the adult industry may try to talk you out of your boundaries. However, when you say “No” they normally stop trying or move onto someone else who is more willing to change their boundaries without a fight. The path of least resistance is a lot cheaper in the adult industry, but in the “real world” people can afford to try to erode your boundaries because there is no cost to them for trying. Talk about confusing and unacceptable!

Where do I go from here with all this information? What kind of books will I write in the future? Will the “real world” get easier as the stigma of the adult industry fades? How do I incorporate all this information into my writing? Have you read about Narcissists? How is our culture becoming more and more like two people who use each other as a tool for masturbation?… So the questions are overwhelming… Stay tuned as I find the answers!

Happy New Year!

Xoxo

ZiFi

P.S. AVN Awards are quickly approaching…Who would you like to know more about?

Zi Morning Rambles-Present

My Mornings

This morning, I woke up with many things on my mind. Thinking too much is one of my favorite past times, but sometimes I have light bulb moments that make the sleepless nights worthwhile. Today was one of those moments.

In my transition from stripper/sugar baby to “real life”, there have been way too many things to observe and analyze about myself, my life, my lifestyle, and society. However, this morning I had a break through. I always ask myself why I was a successful sex worker? Why was it the career I kept the longest and still look back on with fond memories? (Yes, I did work in corporate America before I entered the adult industry.)

It all comes down to my emotions and childhood. I know we are all thinking Daddy issues right? The funny part is I learned emotional work from my Mother. She taught me not to expect it out of men and rarely from herself. If I wanted to have a meaningful relationship with her I had to make up for her emotional shortcomings from a very young age.

Growing up in a Communist culture in a Capitalist society in small town Oregon was full of dysfunctions that gave me the desire to get away. And also prepared me with the skill set to be successful in the adult industry.

Xoxo

ZiFi

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I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am & where I want to be to inspire me & not terrify me.