Employees Continue To Get Paid At Realty Edge


The employees at Realty Edge in Clackamas, Oregon still continue to get paid, while I am told to wait for my back monthly allowance for being a stay at home girlfriend, relocating, and not stripping. Funny because I even waited till tax quarter to leave when he would deposit a large sum into our joint account. I can only assume why this was a reoccurring theme four times a year.

Within a couple of days of our restraining order being lifted, I got a phone call from my mother informing me that Tim(aka Tae Roh) visited her and threatened that I may face legal ramifications if I did not remove some of the truths about his business off my blog. Well, unfortunately when you date a writer and underestimate her, you allow yourself to be exposed. For people who chose to lead double lives this is just not kosher.

I thought I was an actress in this whirlwind we call life but I am realizing more and more how the corporate world is more two-faced then a stripper on a Friday night preying on drunk men. Tim(aka Tae Roh) represents all the sugar daddies out there that cannot understand without money they would not be surrounded by half the people around him. Employees may act like friends but that is apart of the corporate show they all put on. Let us be honest with ourselves about who is around and why? And are you messing with an employee who is married, well that is wrong in my adult industry perspective. I can only imagine what “mainstream” people would say or speculate.

So to a business man his work will always come first, because there are no legally binding papers that hold him accountable in a relationship besides marriage or a domestic partnership. Guess I am lucky that I never signed a NDA, but he was never smart enough to ask me to. In the beginning of our relationship I had no clue how controlling and inhumane he would be so I would have gladly signed it. Just as I took his word that he would take care of me financially and I relocated to Portland Oregon and stopped stripping, which took away my largest source of instant income, which was what my monthly allowance was to make up for. Allowance monthly was by design so I would never be stuck with a man for his money. Well now he is trying to keep me stuck in his life by withholding my back allowance and I have to play nice in hopes of him keeping his word. Which so far seems tainted when it comes to relationships and financial security and personal financial independence other than his own.

When you date a younger woman and promise to take care of her financially you need to keep that promise even if she wants to leave because no one should be around another for just money. And why would Tae Roh want a relationship based on the power of witholding money when I was just fine financially before him and spent more money and retained my freedom. Plus, he calls my best career year, the year when I stayed home to learn to be a housewife. How insulting! Women like me have no problem leaving a man in the dust, but she will get what she has earned.



Passion With A Pole

Pole dancing is a newer craze in mainstream America, especially for women who have never been able to explore the sexuality of their own body through physicality. In the adult industry, pole dancing is not something new. Pole dancing competitions take place nationwide and in other countries(ex Canada). They allow for the select few females in the adult industry, who are the best and the brightest to all come together. The true performers who shine, entertain, and excel at their craft/career.

There are many different kinds of women who are amazing pole dancers. The variety is almost as breathtaking as some of the gravity defying pole tricks they do with such grace and ease. Yet, there is a common factor I found when interviewing three well-known names within pole dancing competitors in North America;  they all share the common passion of being an entertainer. The money was/is just a perk to these three girls who have nearly perfected their craft. However, the passion of being a performer and being on stage is what keeps these ladies in the adult industry.

This was a commonality I really did not expect. The thought of someone being in the adult industry without the main focus being the immediate payoff(aka the money) is still foreign and hard to wrap my mind around. I remember the winter in my stripping career when lap dances and champagne rooms became more important than pole tricks. Pole tricks stopped being as lucrative as they once were, even though the wear and tear on one’s body stayed the same. Perhaps, this is when I became a true stripper and left pole dancing in the background. I was a stripper for the money I loved being on stage, dancing, pole tricks, meeting new people,defying gravity, and coming home with enough money to buy freedom in my personal life, however I defined it. I adapted to my environment within the adult industry and took the necessary steps to meet my financial goals without crossing my moral or ethical boundaries.

Amber Paige(@AthenaEterna), Bambu Jessica(@BambuJessica), and Justice(@Justiceofvan) all are passionate about performing. They have such diverse stories and backgrounds yet passion is the commonality which keeps all three of them in the adult industry. Money seems only to be a perk or by-product of their passion. These are not women who have to strip, they love to perform and pole dance. Let me say that again. These ladies love to pole dance and are performers/entertainers at heart.

Justice is an extremely unique entertainer from Canada. She was a pleasure to speak with and after our communicating for a few days, I discovered just how successful she is while doing my actual research. It was a bit shocking. After writing in the adult industry for a couple of years, I have noticed many successful entertainers are not pleasant to interview, yet the most successful entertainers are the kindest(Shout out to JJ McGraw owner of Buns and Bowties the show).

Justice( has won 57 titles as of March 2015, including some twice such as Miss Nude Canada. What an amazing human being. Also, being that she is from Canada, her experience as a stripper, burlesque, feature dancer, and pole competitor(just to name a few) has been very different then the average female’s experience in the adult industry within the United States. However, it takes amazing people to make amazing things happen. We hope to see more of her in the United States later this year! Look out for her documentary film which will be released in the beginning of 2016:  Naked Justice(Facebook:  Naked Justice). Also, a big thank you to Bryan Ward Photography for the photos provided of Justice.

“Being at the top of my industry in Canada feels great, but can be stressful at times. Everyone is watching you expecting more…” ~Justice

There are always going to be average people and the above average people in any industry. The simple separating factors seem to be having some kind of passion for what you do and hard work accompanied by business smarts. Residual income is something very difficult to focus on in the adult industry. Especially because there are thousands of dollars in cash going through your hands monthly, sometimes it is more than the average American will make in a year. Yet, looking at a career in the adult industry as a long-term investment is the true goal no matter if you are a production company owner, writer, adult actress, photographer, etc. We all want to be able to leave the industry behind in a way that will forever enhance our lives.

Bambu Jessica(@BambuJessica) is a veteran performer, her career started at age four with gymnastics lessons. She has a true passion for being on stage and performing. Even her body is her canvas decorated with tattoos, piercings, and bright-colored hair. She embodies her passion for art without apologizes. A perfect example would be her involvement with as a model, never has she been able to stray far from the adult industry. She has just recently started featuring dancing. Bambu has found a love for feature dancing that tops all other types of performing. Having been on 10 different television networks and published about 50 times in magazines she is no stranger to the limelight and embraces it.

“I’m in love with being able to take art to different places and make an audience feel something. I want them to feel like they can truly be themselves. That being bizarre and different is celebrated.” ~Bambu Jessica


Amber Paige(@AthenaEterna) is the free spirit of the three women and the first I spoke with. She is somewhat new to pole competitions, but is someone I will enjoy watching to see where she takes her career or maybe where it will take her. Amber is a traveling stripper, pole dance competitor, and web cam model. She has a natural beauty that has a power in itself. This mixed with her youth and willingness to try new things will get her far within the adult entertainment industry if she utilizes it. Her art is dance/pole work, but to achieve her financial goal for her family she will have to learn to be business minded as well. Thus, allowing her to make money while indulging herself in whatever passion she chooses. Passion and heart are the qualities Amber Paige fully embodies.

“One should live to the point of tears.” ~Amber Paige

A career in the adult industry is littered with stigmas and stereotypes. These three women are perfect examples of how facing these challenges can have a large payoff, when passion is involved. Be brave and follow your passion.


Zi-Fi (@ZiFiStripClub)

Special thank you to Chris Meggs( for not only the amazing photos, but the introductions to these three truly amazing ladies.

Happiness Is Worth More

After mourning(for almost a month), all the different things I have sacrificed to be a Spoiled girlfriend(sugar and stripping). It all hit me like a ton of bright red bricks.  Finally, I came to terms with the fact that I am blessed to get to frivolously indulge in my heart. This is something I gave up for so many years. The thought of giving into emotions seems illogical and uneducated. However, I am learning not all of life is logical. The longer I live the more the basics come into play!

What good is money when you lay in bed alone every night before going to sleep, only to wake up to coldness. Remembering the little daily things that I never had, but dreamed of just may be priceless.



“The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.” ~Johnny Depp


Girl Time


Some days are necessary to just hit the pause button on all work, disconnect and have girl time. Taking a break from all the different directions I go is a necessary evil. The more often I get out and get some real, the more grounded and successful I am. Simple equation, but it took years to really realize.

You have to spend money to make money!


“A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.”
― Coco Chanel

Strip Club Journals Unbound-The Big Picture

images (1)The big picture is something that is greatly overlooked in the adult industry. Customers rarely see past the lap dance, champagne room, and the fantasy. The dancers rarely see past the money.

With all this clouded vision I asked entertainers (who have been in the industry five or more years), “How has the industry changed you/your life?” Dancers were reluctant to reply with feedback to this question, which is odd. Normally, feedback is not something I have to seek out too much. In this case though, perhaps dancers were reluctant to think about the issue and then share their realizations about their own lives.

Seeing past the money hurts, just as the fantasy loses its glitz and glamor when it becomes real.There was one commonality in every single response I received. This did surprise me. The extent of the effects of this issue is large in my life, but I never realized I was in such good company. The issue is simple, yet complex all at the same time. “Dating is hard,” stated bluntly by a dancer. I learned this after the first year or two I was in the industry. It takes a strong man to trust a dancer and understand it is just a job, a means to an end. This makes many men feel threatened and/or insecure, which is something that just is what it is.

We cannot change society and society does not paint a pretty picture of strippers.”People already think that strippers are whores, junkies, and drunks. So they look down on you. However, You don’t have to be a stripper to be a whore, drunk, or a junkie.” This was a great quote from another response I received. If we live in a society that judges strippers poorly, then it is logical that most people in the society will follow suit and judge strippers poorly too. Thus, men in relationships with strippers will judge them as well. This is pure logic, but it does not mean it hurts one’s heart any less!

The adult industry also changes what dancers value emotionally. “Now, it’s the emotional connection that I crave,” put gracefully by a dancer who made me feel at ease when I first started in the industry. After experiencing all the sexuality and seeing how much people value sex(rather than intimacy) in our society, being valued as an individual becomes extremely important. Dancers want to know that we are valued for more than just how we look. We know how to attract attention, but when we get attention without trying is when we truly value it the most. The adult industry is all about appearances and catering.

Well, if the adult industry caters to American society, then why would society look down upon the adult industry workers? We are the ones who make their fantasies closer to reality then they ever could on their own. Why do people look down upon women who empower themselves with their own sexuality? These women are brave to embrace their own sexuality as a strength rather than a weakness.

Society may be over sexed, but dancers working in the industry as a career see past the sex that society craves. Sex is a drug. Everyone has a different quitting point and some people never stop. Intimacy and emotional connection are the true goals in relationships. Sex can be amazing when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, rather than just using another person to fulfill your mamalistic desires/human needs. This is something that every dancer knows who has given a dance on an afternoon shift to an older successful man who was already emotionally dead before 50 years old.


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