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narcissistic abuse

Self-Care After Narcissistic Abuse

Learning how to take care of yourself and listening to your body is the first step in recovering from narcissistic abuse. After a lifetime of putting other people’s needs before your own, it is difficult to even know what your body needs and wants. And loving yourself seems like an out-of-body experience, because it has never been something that came naturally from within. Well, self-care is the journey to self-love.

After narcissistic abuse we all want to live our best lives. This means practical application of self-care to develop self-love in a healthy manner. Self-love is the foundation to a healthy and satisfying life. This seems so simple in theory, but let’s examine the root cause of this “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” as Ross Rosenburg puts it.

Self-Love Deficit Disorder is the outcome of being raised by toxic people who do not know how to honor themselves. Conditional love is the language these people speak. Thus motivated by our fear of not being loved, we learned very early to live by other people’s feelings rather than our own. Until we overcome this Self-Love Deficit we will continue to attract people who do not honor themselves into our lives.

When I first read about Ross Rosenburg’s Self-Love Deficit Disorder and Human Magnet Syndrome, I was shocked to the core. It made so much sense. Logically, I could see how these theories had played out in my life and in the narcissistic family cult I was raised in. However, I did not know where to go from here. How was I supposed to practice self-love if I had never experienced someone who actually loved themselves?

Radical self-care is the solution to Self-Love Deficit Disorder. Learning how to take care of your body, mind, and spirit are the building blocks to developing self-love. Once again this sounds entirely too simple, but it works. As a codependent empath, we are raised to cater to the needs and feelings of others. Now is the time to cater to our own needs and feelings in order to heal.

How do you practically apply this information into your everyday life? Create baby steps that add up and naturally snowball. For example, start taking your physical health seriously. I enjoy this approach because feeling better physically leads to better mental health. Some baby steps would be to start taking vitamins/supplements, do a parasite cleanse, take a long relaxing salt bath once a week, eat healthier foods, go for walks, go to the gym, sit in a sauna, get a massage, and/or start meditating. Pick a few self-care practices and do them on a regular basis. When you start to feel the payoff from these self-care practices you will want to add more into your life and the snowball effect will start to take place. Honor your body, mind, and spirit and only allow others into your life who do the same. This is how self-love is created.

Xoxo

ZiFi

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Some of my favorite simple self-care things:

Sources:

http://humanmagnetsyndrome.com/hmsblog/the-codependensorder-pyramidh

12 Tips For Protection Against Psychic Attacks After Narcissistic Abuse

Psychic attacks are prevalent with cluster b personality disorders. These people are not in control of their emotions and/or their thoughts. Thus, their need/desire to control others. Circular thoughts are merely energy being spit out into the universe over and over again. Most people are not in tune with the collective consciousness, but after enduring narcissistic abuse one is very familiar with being in touch with the energies around them. We are conditioned to atune to the needs and desires of others, aka energies. When going no contact with a cluster b personality disordered person psychic attacks can range from annoying to crippling, especially when more than one disordered person is involved.

Here is a short list of tips for protection that have worked for me. Do as many as it takes to get back into your energies, but one or two is normally sufficient.

  • Grounding/Earthing
  • Smudging with sage or palo santo
  • Improve your core muscles
  • Salt bath
  • Drink water/hydrate
  • Exercise
  • Meditation-become present in your body
  • Eat root vegetables
  • Sauna
  • B vitamins-niacin and B12 shots
  • Crystals
  • Detox/Cleanse your body-the more habitable your body the fewer psychic attacks will be felt/bothersome

This was something that I had a hard time explaining when it first started happening. However, after I found the words/term and was able to wrap my mind around the situation it was an easy fix. I wish you much peace in your journey to recovery.

Xoxo

ZiFi

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Reclaiming Your Health After Narcissistic Abuse

Reclaiming your health is a large part of recovering from narcissistic abuse. After being with a narcissist, and being raised by them, we need to take care of our health dynamically like never before. We were taught from an early age to respond to other people’s needs and wants rather than listen to the needs of our own body. The physical body is a vehicle which can lead you towards achieving mental health and clarity.

Here is a short list of things that need be addressed while in recovery:

  • Stress response can lead to autoimmune issues-cortisol management
  • Microbiome-everything from what you eat, to your children, to your dogs, to your kitchen sink, etc
  • Environmental toxins
  • Bad habits/addictions
  • Diet
  • Vitamins/Supplements
  • Exercise
  • Parasite cleanse
  • Heavy metal detox
  • Emotional detox
  • Adrenal reset
  • Liver support

Recovering and reclaiming your health is not limited to just these things, but these are some ideas on where to start.

Xoxo

ZiFi

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Also check out: My Health Journey-Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery-Leave Your Humanity At Home

When recovering from narcissistic abuse it is time to redefine boundaries. Boundaries are what keep you safe in the future and lack of boundaries is what got you into this mess. In all fairness, you were probably never taught to have boundaries, because you were raised by a narcissist. So, the first step is realizing it is healthy to have solid boundaries.

As I have mentioned before, if you find yourself in a romantic relationship that results in narcissistic abuse it is a pretty safe bet that one of your parents was a narcissist. Narcissists do not raise their children to have boundaries, because they have children to secure constant narcissistic supply. If narcissists taught their children boundaries, the children would start to use these boundaries with their own parents. Thus, the children would not be fulfilling their purpose in the narcissists’ mind.

Mourn the loss of getting to be your emotional self in everyday life and move forward. Even though cluster b personality disordered people seek out to kill the emotional spectrum of others, they hate when you can turn off/tone down your emotions because they lack this ability. They are addicted to the few emotions they have. Thus, their circular obsessive thoughts and trying to kill parts of others they cannot obtain in themselves to feel a rush of power.

“When dealing with insincere people, abandon sincere communication.”

Leave your humanity at home. Even the grocery store is not meant for humanity, look at the “foods” they sell that will kill any trace of humanity some people have left. Our society is not built for humanity, it is built for dysfunction and narcissism. Our government is narcissistic, so our society follows suit. Guard your humanity as the rare gift it is and keep it safe. Humanity is the only thing that can save our society as a whole, but there needs to be strategy before bringing it out publicly.

I am not saying to be heartless. As an intuitive empath with a large emotional spectrum myself, I believe in kindness. However, I do not believe in letting others feed off my emotions and declaring me their new source of supply. Cluster b personality disordered people do not have a connection to source energy. And people who have no connection to source energy are always one breath away from energetically drowning. Are you going to let them push you underwater?

In our world today the nice guy finishes last. Let’s change this by leaving our humanity at home and taking the energetic scarlet letter off. Camouflage is a beautiful war tactic that we all need after experiencing the emotional growth that takes place after narcissistic abuse.

Please leave a comment below if you can relate.

Xoxo

ZiFi

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Check Out: 6 Tips For Setting Boundaries After Narcissist Abuse

Victorian Period Of Mourning After Narcissistic Abuse

After getting out of a narcissistic abusive relationship, everyone needs to take a step back and reevaluate their life. This kind of abuse is something that is deep rooted in our hearts and souls. Narcissistic abuse that takes place in a romantic relationship is rarely your first experience with a narcissist. Finding your root wound and original abuser is the key to banishing this experience from your future.

When I left my last relationship, I was sad, anxious, and confused. However, I had been through other abusive relationships so unfortunately this was nothing new. Finding my root wound is what really pushed me over the edge. How could I have lived my whole life and not realized what was happening? I am educated and pride myself on being informed, so this was a huge blow to the ego. How could these people have pulled the wool over my eyes my whole life? Conditioning was the answer. My whole extended family has been raised to believe narcissism is normal/acceptable and I was no different. When you are raised by wolves you are conditioned to turn a blind eye when they prey.

After this life changing realization, it was time to go into mourning. I was mourning the death of the person I thought I was and the love of the family I never received. I had felt like an orphan my whole life(even when I lived with my parents), but never could really explain it other than they just did not understand me and/or my needs.

Complicated grief is not something many people understand, because it is multidemsional and cannot be easily explained. The one good thing about having an original abuser/root wound is that you have an example of what will happen to you if you choose not to resolve your issues/feelings. My mother/original abuser is one of 8 children that I grew up with as my extended family. My grandmother and grandfather were the heads of this family that was a multigenerational narcissistic family cult by the time I was born. So by default, I witnessed what happened to these grown children when my grandmother and grandfather died.

Complicated is a word that could describe their conditions after the death of their mother(my grandmother). However, the word decline seems to fit more appropriately. They were never in great condition, thus the narcissism, but they all got worse physically, emotionally, and spiritually after this brush with death. All of a sudden there were divorces, weight gain, health conditions, addictions, and all the children born after this were in worse health than the ones of us born previously. It was a snowball of dysfunction even worse than before. It took death for them to leave their original abuser and they were not prepared for such a large part of themselves to die. They had merely been an extension of my grandmother and grandfather for a lifetime. Without knowing who they were and what their true desires were in life they were all lost souls.

This is why it is necessary to work on root wounds and separate yourself from your original abuser. If you do not distance yourself from the dysfunction, you remain an extension of your original abuser. It is time to learn who you are without narcissism casting a shadow on everything and turning a part of your soul dark.

Xoxo

ZiFi

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Sources:

https://www.tchevalier.com/fallingangels/bckgrnd/mourning/

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