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Victorian Period Of Mourning After Narcissistic Abuse

After getting out of a narcissistic abusive relationship, everyone needs to take a step back and reevaluate their life. This kind of abuse is something that is deep rooted in our hearts and souls. Narcissistic abuse that takes place in a romantic relationship is rarely your first experience with a narcissist. Finding your root wound and original abuser is the key to banishing this experience from your future.

When I left my last relationship, I was sad, anxious, and confused. However, I had been through other abusive relationships so unfortunately this was nothing new. Finding my root wound is what really pushed me over the edge. How could I have lived my whole life and not realized what was happening? I am educated and pride myself on being informed, so this was a huge blow to the ego. How could these people have pulled the wool over my eyes my whole life? Conditioning was the answer. My whole extended family has been raised to believe narcissism is normal/acceptable and I was no different. When you are raised by wolves you are conditioned to turn a blind eye when they prey.

After this life changing realization, it was time to go into mourning. I was mourning the death of the person I thought I was and the love of the family I never received. I had felt like an orphan my whole life(even when I lived with my parents), but never could really explain it other than they just did not understand me and/or my needs.

Complicated grief is not something many people understand, because it is multidemsional and cannot be easily explained. The one good thing about having an original abuser/root wound is that you have an example of what will happen to you if you choose not to resolve your issues/feelings. My mother/original abuser is one of 8 children that I grew up with as my extended family. My grandmother and grandfather were the heads of this family that was a multigenerational narcissistic family cult by the time I was born. So by default, I witnessed what happened to these grown children when my grandmother and grandfather died.

Complicated is a word that could describe their conditions after the death of their mother(my grandmother). However, the word decline seems to fit more appropriately. They were never in great condition, thus the narcissism, but they all got worse physically, emotionally, and spiritually after this brush with death. All of a sudden there were divorces, weight gain, health conditions, addictions, and all the children born after this were in worse health than the ones of us born previously. It was a snowball of dysfunction even worse than before. It took death for them to leave their original abuser and they were not prepared for such a large part of themselves to die. They had merely been an extension of my grandmother and grandfather for a lifetime. Without knowing who they were and what their true desires were in life they were all lost souls.

This is why it is necessary to work on root wounds and separate yourself from your original abuser. If you do not distance yourself from the dysfunction, you remain an extension of your original abuser. It is time to learn who you are without narcissism casting a shadow on everything and turning a part of your soul dark.

Xoxo

ZiFi

Sources:

https://www.tchevalier.com/fallingangels/bckgrnd/mourning/

Managing Cluster B Personalities

Cluster B personality disordered people are meant to be managed. If you do not manage them, they will try to manage you and put you in a role in the play they call their life. These people are evil at their core, because they do not have empathy and they will try to distort your reality to fit their agenda. Denying others reality is one of their favorite pastimes. Cluster B personality disorders love to create chaos and make others live in a false reality. If they do not have the ability live in reality, why should you?

Are you in a close relationship with a cluster b personality disordered person? Well, it is time to leave them in the past and go no contact. Which sounds easy enough, right? However, if you have been with them for a period of time prepare for your reality to shift. Addiction to the lies they have feed you and their negative energy is real. Coming back to reality is a must though to recover from the pathology one has been exposed to after being in an intimate relationship with a cluster b personality disordered person.

Watch this video from Richard Grannon on how to manage contact with a cluster b personality.

>>>Click Here<<<

Not always is no contact an option. In these cases, learn about the grey rock technique and use it when communicating with these disordered people.

Watch this video from Angie Atkinson to learn about the grey rock technique.

>>>Click Here<<< 

In everyday life we are going to run into personality disordered people. Learning to deal with these people and overcome their manipulation tactics is the only way to disarm them. They are used to getting their way and often are baffled when their manipulation tactics do not work(Click Here for a list of their manipulation tactics)

Arm yourself with knowledge to war with cluster b personality disorders and win because reality is on your side.

Xoxo

ZiFi

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