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11 Tips On How To Acknowledge The Truth & Forgive Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse

Realizing you were living in a fake reality is one of the hardest parts of recovering from Narcissistic abuse. No one wants to believe someone they loved would want to con them. However, this is the reality when it comes to narcissistic abuse. Narcissists are not capable of real love and so they use love as a weapon.

Here are 11 tips on how to acknowledge the truth and forgive yourself after narcissistic abuse:

  1. Realize this was not a real relationship.
  2. They controlled you to gain power.
  3. The Narc had complete cognitive knowledge of what they were doing.
  4. The abuse was a working mechanism that the Narc used to control you, manage you down, isolate you, disable you and use you to meet their needs.
  5. The why does not matter, you cannot fix a personality disordered person.
  6. Love was used to con you into the abuse by gaining your trust and commitment to them.
  7. Intellectually understand this is a personality disordered person.
  8. Emotionally realize this was Not Real love.
  9. Purge the negative messages that were planted in your head-these were only put there to control you.
  10. Take care of yourself-mentally and physically.
  11. You have the ability to achieve true happiness and the ability to love normally, the Narc does not have this option/ability.

Xoxo

ZiFi

Connect with me:

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ZiFiMedia/

Instagram @Zifi-Writing

Do you have a question or a topic on narcissistic abuse you would like me to write about? Please comment here or email me at ContactZi@yahoo.com

Source:

https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/

Narcissist Quotes

Often when we are recovering from narcissistic abuse we forget that we are not alone. We are fighting a battle to become the best version of ourselves, a journey that so many other people have traveled. Here are a few quotes to remind you, you are not alone:

  • “The narc has been living in denial of their humanity and normal vulnerable feelings for so long there is an entire life time of unexpressed, repressed emotions rotting in the depths of their psyche. This is why they cannot stand to be alone. In that stillness they start to notice the stink coming up from the basement.” ― Richard GrannonHow to Take Revenge on a Narcissist: Take your power back by using the secret techniques of emotional manipulators – against them
  • “Realize that narcissists have an addiction disorder. They are strongly addicted to feeling significant. Like any addict they will do whatever it takes to get this feeling often. That is why they are manipulative and future fakers. They promise change, but can’t deliver if it interferes with their addiction. That is why they secure back up supply.” ― Shannon L. Alder
  • “When we meet and fall into the gravitational pull of a narcissist, we are entering a significant life lesson that involves learning how to create boundaries, self-respect, and resilience. Through trial and error (and a lot of pain), our connection with narcissists teaches us the necessary lessons we need to become mature empaths.” ― Mateo SolAwakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing
  • “The narcissist identifies being loved with being possessed, encroached upon, shackled, transformed, reduced, exploited, weakened, engulfed, digested and excreted.” -Sam Vaknin
  • “Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders, one of a group that includes antisocial, dependent, histrionic, avoidant and borderline personalities. But by most measures, narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless.”—Jeffrey Kluger
  • “I think a lot of self-importance is a product of fear. And fear, living in sort of an un-self-examined fear-based life, tends to lead to narcissism and self-importance.”—Moby
  • “A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people’s true colors.”—Karla Grimes
  • “Parents are supposed to give the child back to herself with love. If they’ve got duct tape over their eyes because of narcissism, it doesn’t happen.” -Jane Fonda

Xoxo

ZiFi

Connect with me:

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ZiFiMedia/

Instagram @Zifi-Writing

Sources:

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/narcissistic-abuse

http://bnarcissisticabuserecovery.runboard.com/p217916,from=rss

Toxic Selfishness: 50 Quotes About Why Narcissists Suck

https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/narcissism

How To Recover From Narcissistic Abuse-12 Steps

After reading my last post(Signs You Have Experienced Narcissistic Abuse) and realizing you are suffering from Narcissistic abuse, what do you do now? Information is overwhelming and swirling through your head and up looks like down and right looks like left. Start here to get your equilibrium back.

How to recover from Narcissistic abuse:

  1. Go “No Contact”.
  2. Set healthy boundaries.
  3. Acknowledge the truth & forgive yourself.
  4. Heal your inner child.
  5. Activate your Vagus nerve & do an adrenal reset.
  6. Learn grounding techniques & self soothing.
  7. Allow yourself to grieve & be angry.
  8. Seek professional help.
  9. Work on self-esteem.
  10. Focus on things that you can control(ex. your own behavior).
  11. Understand why the narcissist acts the way they do.
  12. Remember narcissists are incapable of real feelings.

This is just a short list of things that will aid you in the healing process after narcissistic abuse. Be kind to yourself and learn to love the person you are, while starting this journey to be the best you possible. This is just the beginning of a beautiful journey to find the true you, the best version of yourself. Be patient with yourself and practise self-care along your journey.

Xoxo

ZiFi

Connect with me:

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ZiFiMedia/

Instagram @Zifi-Writing

Do you have a question or a topic on narcissistic abuse you would like me to write about? Please comment here or email me at ContactZi@yahoo.com

Sources:

View story at Medium.com

6 Steps to Emotional Healing after Narcissistic Abuse (#1 is the most important!)

https://www.wikihow.com/Heal-from-Narcissistic-Abuse

Signs You Have Experienced Narcissistic Abuse

Many people have approached me with questions regarding how to know if they have experienced narcissistic abuse. In our society, we do not often treat the root issue, but rather treat the symptoms. Therefore, the signs of narcissistic abuse can often become the focus themselves rather than discovering the root issue of narcissistic abuse.

Here are 16 signs of narcissistic abuse:

  1. Anxiety and/or depression.
  2. Health issues and/or autoimmune diseases.
  3. Walking on eggshells.
  4. You put your needs/wants/desires on the back burner.
  5. Self isolation.
  6. Compare yourself to others.
  7. Self sabotage and self-destruction.
  8. Fear of success.
  9. Gaslight yourself(ex. rationalizing, minimizing, denying).
  10. Low self-esteem.
  11. Feeling like you are going crazy.
  12. Nothing you do is good enough.
  13. You feel ignored and/or invisible.
  14. Overachiever or underachiever.
  15. Poor sense of self.
  16. You fear you are a narcissist.

If you can relate to these symptoms of narcissistic abuse, then it is time to reevaluate who you are surrounding yourself with and take the steps necessary to resolve the root cause. Be brave and know that being alone is way better than dealing with these unhealthy symptoms that will eventually take over your life.

Xoxo

ZiFi

Connect with me on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/ZiFiMedia/

Do you have a question or a topic on narcissistic abuse you would like me to write about? Please comment here or email me at ContactZi@yahoo.com

Sources

11 Signs You’re the Victim of Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic Abuse: 16 Subtle Signs a Narcissist is Abusing You

8 Signs of Narcissistic Abuse

The Differences Between Covert & Overt Narcissists

I received a question on my last blog post, Narcissistic War Tactics, regarding how to tell the difference between covert and overt narcissists. So let me expand a bit on these two types of narcissism.

Covert narcissists are more subtle in their abuse. They often are hypersensitive, quiet, smug, passive aggressive, lack empathy, and self-absorbed. While on the other end of the spectrum, overt narcissists are aggressive, exploitative, loud, and have a great need for attention. Richard Grannon goes as far to say that people with BPD are covert narcissists, “overt narcissists in training”.

Rarely does a narcissist stick to just one war tactic. In situations/relationships where they feel secure and like the other person is invested and/or stuck they will be overt and in other areas where they are not so confident they will use covert tactics. This is something I realized in my last relationship. My ex partner was very covert when I first met him, but after a few years he turned overt in most instances. Where as the opposite is true for my Mother. She was very overt when I was younger, because I was literally stuck with nowhere to run, but as time went on and she realized I did not have to include her in my life she turned more covert.

Their tactics change based on the situation and relationship. However, the general assumption that they are greater than stays the same. At work they may use one tactic, at home they may use another, and in other situations they change once again. Throughout the day they may yoyo back and forth between covert and overt.

Does it matter whether they are overt or covert? No. In the end, the result of narcissistic abuse is the same. So keep your eyes and ears open. If you feel like someone is being abusive, but cannot quite put your finger on what is happening, it is quite possible it is covert narcissistic abuse. No matter the type of narcissist, their end goal is the same and that is to make you feel less than and reinforce their superiority.

Trust your gut and write things down. Patterns will arise, because they repeat the tactics that work for them.

Xoxo

ZiFi

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