I sit here at my desk(in Oregon) brainstorming about what to include in my next magazine column(Strip Club Journals Unbound) which has a lingering deadline around the corner. This past month I have traveled across the nation and back and then some. This is the most personal appearances I have made in a very long time for my career and for the big picture, as a business and an individual artist.
I have become the writer at heart I truly am. The woman who prefers to write in her pjs with her puppy, rather than dress up and have hair and makeup done to go to an event to smile and charm people. Networking is apart of my job and yes I do love meeting new people. However, manifesting my dreams is the largest part of my job that no one really sees. I write in the middle of the night staring out at the street lights on empty city weeknights. I take notes at fashion shows with a glass of white wine in my other hand so I do not stain my designer dress. I write on airplanes and get odd looks from the people around me who innocently glance at my computer screen only to be mortified(especially in Utah).
My lifestyle and career have changed. I have changed and I have grown. I have created an amazing platform within the adult industry.
Now what to do with it all is the real question?
“Being my own boss was the best decision I ever made by mistake!” ~Zi-Fi
I had an amazing time last night at the Vagina Beauty Pageant Finale, held at The Runway. Being able to connect with a few of the girls I started stripping with and/or who started when I could watch their journey into the adult industry is beyond priceless.
There is an unspoken and unexplainable bond between those of us in the adult industry!
Normally, people think traveling and associate it quickly with leisure, relaxing, and sight-seeing. Well in my world, I travel often, but only occasionally take a purely leisure trip. Yes, I love the ability to travel which my career allows. However, I would love to take more leisure trips then work trip this year after so much traveling on my own last year. Yes, perhaps this is an unrealistic expectation and an occupational hazard.
Work in the adult industry has allowed me to see so much of the country and a little of the world. Perhaps, the travel bug I was born with has finally fully emerged and I am afraid to set it aside for fear of missing out on the world. Yet, I have the desire to have a career and a retirement plan. Yes, these are all first world problems and I know they seem very minute to the average American. However, I have given up so much to embody the life I have created. I have given up marriage, children, having a partner in life, unconditional love, and real life for many years to survive in the adult industry(I have to preface that not everyone gives up as much as I did, but the adult industry, stripping, and all the different opportunities and niches took top priority in my life).
After making the jump into stripping and realizing that there was no turning back I wanted to make the most of it as possible with the resources I had being just a small town middle class girl at heart. I had no clue what I had done when I entered the black lights and the strip club. Little did I know I had just entered the adult industry and my world would be forever changed. Not always for the best, but every career has its pros and cons.
Some decisions we make never thinking it may be one of the most impactful decisions in our life.
“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” ~Keri Russell
P.S. Vegas bound Saturday, wish me luck on acting carefree and having a good time.
After coming home from Las Vegas and the AVN Expo, Portland has felt so very small. The feeling of wanting to run had been flowing through my veins. On Sunday, I had to escape to Eugene if I was going to retain any of my sanity. When I am in Oregon and surrounded by small minded people I want to at least be near my family. There is something large to be said for the human factor in the equation of life. Especially after surviving the adult industry for years its importance is multiplied.
So long story short, I am back in front of my computer to catch up for a bit on my blog. My magazine column(Strip Club Journals Unbound) is finished for March. And I am Las Vegas bound this weekend for photos and fun.
May we all manifest our dreams!
“If art is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes him.” ~John F. Kennedy
After being at the AVN Expo and being surrounded by “my people” it has been a rough transition to come home to Portland and my everyday life. I missed my real life, but I loved the thrill of working again. After months of recovering and being a bum it felt amazing to be the career driven person I am at heart. Working smarter rather than harder is not always as easy as it may seem. It tests your patience beyond belief at moments. However, it is like chess: plan and play to win.
So now, I am back to my “Real Life” and I appreciate it beyond belief, because it allows me to remain grounded. I cannot lie I miss the thrill of living the adult industry lifestyle at times. Then I remember how amazing it is to have security and someone who wants and values having me around.
How the times change! From being loved by the masses to being truly loved by one. I like it!