recovery after a relationship with a narcissist

Victorian Period Of Mourning After Narcissistic Abuse

After getting out of a narcissistic abusive relationship, everyone needs to take a step back and reevaluate their life. This kind of abuse is something that is deep rooted in our hearts and souls. Narcissistic abuse that takes place in a romantic relationship is rarely your first experience with a narcissist. Finding your root wound and original abuser is the key to banishing this experience from your future.

When I left my last relationship, I was sad, anxious, and confused. However, I had been through other abusive relationships so unfortunately this was nothing new. Finding my root wound is what really pushed me over the edge. How could I have lived my whole life and not realized what was happening? I am educated and pride myself on being informed, so this was a huge blow to the ego. How could these people have pulled the wool over my eyes my whole life? Conditioning was the answer. My whole extended family has been raised to believe narcissism is normal/acceptable and I was no different. When you are raised by wolves you are conditioned to turn a blind eye when they prey.

After this life changing realization, it was time to go into mourning. I was mourning the death of the person I thought I was and the love of the family I never received. I had felt like an orphan my whole life(even when I lived with my parents), but never could really explain it other than they just did not understand me and/or my needs.

Complicated grief is not something many people understand, because it is multidemsional and cannot be easily explained. The one good thing about having an original abuser/root wound is that you have an example of what will happen to you if you choose not to resolve your issues/feelings. My mother/original abuser is one of 8 children that I grew up with as my extended family. My grandmother and grandfather were the heads of this family that was a multigenerational narcissistic family cult by the time I was born. So by default, I witnessed what happened to these grown children when my grandmother and grandfather died.

Complicated is a word that could describe their conditions after the death of their mother(my grandmother). However, the word decline seems to fit more appropriately. They were never in great condition, thus the narcissism, but they all got worse physically, emotionally, and spiritually after this brush with death. All of a sudden there were divorces, weight gain, health conditions, addictions, and all the children born after this were in worse health than the ones of us born previously. It was a snowball of dysfunction even worse than before. It took death for them to leave their original abuser and they were not prepared for such a large part of themselves to die. They had merely been an extension of my grandmother and grandfather for a lifetime. Without knowing who they were and what their true desires were in life they were all lost souls.

This is why it is necessary to work on root wounds and separate yourself from your original abuser. If you do not distance yourself from the dysfunction, you remain an extension of your original abuser. It is time to learn who you are without narcissism casting a shadow on everything and turning a part of your soul dark.



Book A Session



11 Tips On How To Acknowledge The Truth & Forgive Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse

Realizing you were living in a fake reality is one of the hardest parts of recovering from Narcissistic abuse. No one wants to believe someone they loved would want to con them. However, this is the reality when it comes to narcissistic abuse. Narcissists are not capable of real love and so they use love as a weapon.

Here are 11 tips on how to acknowledge the truth and forgive yourself after narcissistic abuse:

  1. Realize this was not a real relationship.
  2. They controlled you to gain power.
  3. The Narc had complete cognitive knowledge of what they were doing.
  4. The abuse was a working mechanism that the Narc used to control you, manage you down, isolate you, disable you and use you to meet their needs.
  5. The why does not matter, you cannot fix a personality disordered person.
  6. Love was used to con you into the abuse by gaining your trust and commitment to them.
  7. Intellectually understand this is a personality disordered person.
  8. Emotionally realize this was Not Real love.
  9. Purge the negative messages that were planted in your head-these were only put there to control you.
  10. Take care of yourself-mentally and physically.
  11. You have the ability to achieve true happiness and the ability to love normally, the Narc does not have this option/ability.



Connect with me:


Instagram @Zifi-Writing

Do you have a question or a topic on narcissistic abuse you would like me to write about? Please comment here or email me at


max maillots max maillots max maillots max maillots max maillots peuterey outlet peuterey outlet peuterey outlet online peuterey outlet online peuterey outlet online woolrich outlet woolrich outlet online woolrich outlet online woolrich outlet online stone island outlet stone island outlet stone island outlet stone island outlet stone island outlet stone island outlet uk stone island outlet uk stone island outlet uk stone island outlet uk stone island outlet uk stone island soldes stone island soldes stone island soldes stone island soldes stone island soldes stone island soldes stone island saldi stone island saldi stone island saldi stone island saldi stone island saldi stone island saldi stone island outlet stone island outlet stone island outlet moose knuckles moose knuckles sale pop canvas art oil paintings stone island outlet stone island uk stone island outlet stone island outlet 2018