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New Year, New Life

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My life is so very different then when I first started this blog, even so very different from a year ago. Nowadays, I spend my days cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, primping and taking care of a dog. During this recent major transition I have not written much, because I do not want to become one of those this is what I made for dinner or look at my dog’s new sweatshirt or look at what I shopped for online today blogs.

Being a “normal person” is a lot of work. It really is a full time job to take care of a home. I live in a small loft style condo downtown, so a big house in suburbia almost seems like a nightmare. Responsibility is at a new found high in my life. Committing to be with one man and to take care of another living being on top of it was a lot very quickly. However, looking back I cannot imagine not making these changes and commitments.

Evolution comes in different shapes and sizes!

Xoxo
Zi-Fi

“Knowing your worth is hard…. standing up for yourself is even more difficult!” ~Zi-Fi

Transition: Tips To A Fixed Income

The transition to being a spoiled girlfriend and having a SDBF(Sugar Daddy-Boyfriend) has included some compromises that entailed my annual cash income becoming a fixed monthly amount. Even before I left Corporate America to enter the adult industry through the doors of a strip club and into the black lights, I worked in jobs that had commission options on top of salary or hourly. So, I have noticed my lack of drive snowballing. No matter how good I look, no matter how well I charm employees at a business event, no matter how much I clean or cook, None of these things will improve my income. Yes, I enjoy picking up the house because I stay in the house, but what is the point of it all. There is no excitement of reaching short term financial goals or even the opportunity. I am taken care of in my daily needs/reasonable wants and bills, but I am not gaining the momentum toward my future as I am accustomed to. Sugar is about preparing for our futures. Yet, I have one foot in the traditional live in relationship. Which is something that is brought up every time I bring up security. It seems like if I want this to work I will have to define a career outside of the adult industry(so I do not have to lie about what I do for a career in public with SDBF). This is the toughest part of my transition out of the strip club. I am learning that people will still assume the worst about any woman who used the objectification of women as a stepping stone to level the playing field of American society.

Xoxo

~ZiFi

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” ~Helen Keller

My new PUPPY!! <3
My new PUPPY!! <3

New Year & New Transitions-Strip Club Journals Unbound

Transitions, new beginnings, and the new year all go hand in hand. Everyone buzzes about and questions the transition of entering the adult industry. However, rarely is the transition of exiting the adult industry discussed(unless it is a train wreck society enjoys stereotyping all strippers as). The corporate world focuses on retirement and exiting the work force. Why assume the same goals do not apply to people in the adult industry?

This past year, I have been in the transition of exiting the strip club scene. At times in my career I did love being a stripper and I adore all the options and opportunities it has provided to date. However, knowing my career window is coming to an end and at the same time knowing I gave up something I have worked hard to succeed at is very difficult. No one ever explained that everyone’s exit strategy out of the adult industry is different. Much like a professional sports career, it is a career but it has a window with a time frame. What do you do when you out grow your career?

Change is the only option and transition is inevitable. Learning how to adapt to an ordinary lifestyle is half the battle. Being in the adult entertainment industry changes your whole life. Work becomes the main priority, because there is a time frame. Sleeping at night. Waking up in the morning, rather than just going to bed. Grocery shopping and cooking rather then eating out everyday. Exercising more because stripping is exercise. Remembering your identity besides being a stripper(yet coming to terms with the fact that society as a whole will always see you as a stripper). Only being seen naked by someone you are in a relationship with. No longer wearing a bikini on rainy days. Setting goals that do not include dollar signs and instant gratification by the end of the night. And realizing there is a whole world outside the industry are just a few of the obstacles that one must overcome when exiting the adult industry. It was not easy to enter the industry, however leaving the industry completely behind is impossible.

The industry changes everyone differently. From my experience, I am learning to live by my heart rather then my bank account balance. Yes, I must have my needs and wants taken care of and have security. But for years I turned off my heart for the sake of my bank account balance. Now, I realize how priceless emotions are. Yes, emotions are scary and the adult industry is not a place to take your heart. However, years of pushing the pause button on my heart has made me value the ability/opportunity to even take my feelings into account, let alone show them genuinely.

Exiting the adult industry is a difficult challenge to pull off with grace and only a few can relate. Exiting on your own terms is the goal that brings all strippers together. No stripper says, “I want to leave all this behind only to carry a monkey on my back away with me,” or “I want to be forced out of the industry due to the damage children do to a woman’s body.” The decisions we make along the way throughout our career help to shape our exit strategy.

Thinking big picture is a must for everyone in the adult industry.

Xoxo
Zi-Fi
@ZifiStripClub

“A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no matter what it is; once you do, you can learn about the new world you’re in and take advantage of it.”
Nikki Giovanni

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Different Stages Of Transition

This year has been all about transition in my life. I stopped stripping and not really even on purpose or with a plan. It no longer made me happy, so I just stopped. I have taken breaks before, but never for this long. Also, my magazine column(Strip Club Journals Unbound) went national and was picked up by more magazines in different cities and states. This allowed me to see the possibility of my dreams becoming reality. Which is scary and exciting.

Even scarier was the fact that my dreams were coming true alone.

Xoxo
~Zi-Fi

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.”
~Colin Powell

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Five Weeks After Surgery

It has been five weeks since I had plastic surgery and I still do not feel all the way recovered. This process has been a lot more time consuming then I ever expected, but I hope that it is all worth it in the end! I have been in Oregon for over the past month, but I am finally cleared and ready to travel.

Tomorrow morning, I am off to Cabo. What a holiday! It seems amazingly surreal. I need some sun and beaches in my life. When I come home after a week, I hope to be refreshed from all the stress that plastic surgery and recovery enduced. Plus, I would like to prepare for the AVN awards(Jan in Vegas) in a calm and focused manner. This is an important moment in my life and career.

We all only have a few moments in a lifetime!

Xoxo
Zi-Fi

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