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Holiday Sugar-Quest Magazine

Strip Club Journals Unbound Dec 2014

Holiday Sugar

Happy Holidays to everyone in the adult industry. We all are from such diverse backgrounds and niches within the industry that our celebration and navigation through the holiday season varies greatly. However, society tends to forget we are human too with families and holiday festivities of our own.

The adult industry as a whole is responsible for delivering comfort to people during times of distress. The holiday season is a stressful time to most. So, needless to say people seek out comfort during the holiday season. And comfort looks extremely different to different people.

In the past as a sugar baby, I really dreaded and disliked the holiday season due to my SDs being preoccupied with their wife, family, and/or children. It made me feel like I was their dirty little secret, which is not a pleasant experience, but it is apart of what sugar babies sign up for knowingly from the very beginning. We know we will never be the number one priority in a SDs life. However, laying in bed alone with new diamonds on a holiday is not what I dreamed of as a child. Therefore, I no longer see married SDs or SDs with children. This simplifies everything and I have hope that this holiday season is going to be amazingly different.

Also, this is my first holiday season, in years, without working in a strip club. Stripping saved me on almost every holiday. The other strippers are less likely to work(especially the girls with children) and the customers who do come into a strip club on a holiday are there to spend money. An ideal win win situation of distraction from my sugar holiday blues.

By design this year will be extremely different. Thanksgiving international travels are already in the works with one of my SDs(only my second vacation NOT alone this year). Sun and palm trees make any holiday better. Especially with good company.

Then for Christmas, I am considering going on vacation alone or maybe go to my home away from home in Las Vegas just to escape it all. Being alone on a holiday sounds awful to most people, but it is very understandable to people in the adult and entertainment industry. The holiday season is the closest thing to paid time off we have. Customers in the strip club are extra generous and so are SDs.

As a sugar baby, the holiday season is a time to regroup and reflect independently on the year’s accomplishments and the goals to come for the next year. Staying focused on the big picture helps to keep emotions in check. Sugar is goal oriented dating. We seek more than traditional love, we seek individual success in whatever form we deem it. This boundary trumps all. Even holidays, feelings, and how we dreamed of them.

We celebrate differently, but we still celebrate.

Xoxo
Zi-Fi
@ZiFiStripClub

“Honey, you can give a man a lot of things. You can give him your time, your money, even your heart. But the one thing you can never ever let go of is your power. You have to be able to walk away at any time.”
— Lady Heather, CSI

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Three Weeks After Plastic Surgery

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Almost three weeks after surgery and I am still not back to daily activities without discomfort. This is extremely frustrating, because I embrace independence. I stayed in Portland for two weeks after surgery, till my stitches were removed. City life takes adjusting to when you cannot be apart of it. Condo living in A city in Oregon is a first for me, but A1 was amazing throughout everything and such a trooper, especially because he did not want me to go through with it.
Now here I lay in my bed in Eugene finally propped up on uncountable pillows with my iPad. Sometimes it just takes going home to get some quality rest and relaxation.

Xoxo
Zi-Fi

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”
― Aristotle

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Two SDs

When I realized Mr Utah is not willing and/or able to make time for me, I decided I would start stripping again in Portland. Well, I discovered that would not make me happy even before I walked into a strip club. After much thought, I decided to find another SD who has time to spend with me. This just seemed logical. One SD who I travel to see rarely and another who actually travels with me and makes time for me.

This is the difference between SDs in their 30s and 40s. SDs in their 30s are more willing to throw money at a sugar baby rather than take her feelings or life into consideration. Which has its perks, but it also hurts. There is only so much disappointment and heartache till the money no longer makes up for it all.

SDs in their 40s know the value of time and the everyday things. They understand that sharing an experience with someone is more valuable then experiencing it alone. Time is their specialty. They enjoy spending time together, even if it is just doing the simple things in life like dinner and drinks.

My logic was flawless yet I will see if reality continues to follows suit.

Xoxo
Zi-Fi

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Things Better Left Unsaid

I stopped in Utah last month on my way home from Vegas. A very short trip to see Mr. Utah and meet a sugar baby who lives there. Being social is one of the few things that makes traveling alone easier on the heart and soul. We are all human and humans are not meant to be alone, as a girlfriend in Eugene always reminds me.

Even though it was a very short trip, I learned a lot and had a great time. Mr Utah was busy with work as usual so I rented some happiness with a spa day and a convertible Mustang. When I checked into the hotel and I had my own room, it reinforced the suspicion that I am merely a secret play toy he keeps on retainer for entertainment. Which as a former stripper I am used to.

When you find someone who makes you laugh and smile till your face hurts sometimes it is just easier to remind yourself it is what it is.

Drink in the moments when you are with them.

Xoxo
Zi-Fi

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Sugar Affection

Recently, I came to the conclusion that Mr. U does not have enough time as I require in his schedule. Which is understandable and something I sign up for as a sugar baby. Plus, who wants to be a needy sugar baby who has to ask for time. Needy is never an attractive look on anyone.

We recently came to an agreement/compromise, which will hopefully be the solution to keep our arrangement alive. After investing time, energy, and emotion into someone it is difficult to just throw them away, just as in any traditional relationship. However, retaining the ability to walk away at any moment is also a necessity. No one else should be in the driver seat of your life.

Accepting the fact that I am far from a priority is hurtful, but again it is what I signed up for entering the sugar bowl. I do have to mention that if I ever ask for anything financial it is taken care of quickly. This is how Mr. U shows he is invested in our arrangement. We all show affection differently.

Coming to terms with the arrangement I have with Mr. U was hurtful in a sense because it was a first. Never has an unmarried sugar daddy without children told me no so often to time together. Yet, at the same time, he will send me on my own vacations to keep me happy. What an interesting dynamic! When I first started sugaring these are the arrangements I dreamed of. However, after years of giving up traditional dating to be apart of the sugar bowl my needs have changed.

Affection is a basic human need, just as human touch and I am human too.

Xoxo
ZiFi

“Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.”
~C. S. Lewis

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