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thanksgiving

Thanksgiving 2016-Meeting The Parents

Toes in the Atlantic Ocean

Last Fall, I had to go to the DC area to meet my partner’s parents. It was a good first trip. His parents were on their best behavior, speaking English, and being the “normal” traditional Korean American parents. During this first trip, my partner’s Mother invited us back for Thanksgiving. Well, being the small town girl I am at heart, I accepted her invitation. Little did I know, their true colors would really come out during the holidays.

We arrive for Thanksgiving and everything was okay for a couple of days. They speak Korean, read Korean newspapers, and watch Korean television. The cultural values are very different even though I am from a part Asian family.

Their true colors started seeping out right before we left his parents’ house. His Mom started throwing a fit, literally, by yelling and hitting him/us as we collected our things. She was frantically flailing like a four-year old. I was in brutal shock and started having a panic attack. My partner had sold me on dreams of having a Mom to shop with and do the fun girl things I have never really gotten to enjoy with my own Mother. I was fine not having parents, but the fact that my partner would try to sell me on his parents being “normal” was beyond disturbing. This was the last panic attack I had.

My partners reaction to this situation was to go eat before we went to the airport to get on our airplane home. It was the perfect time for pho for my partner. So, I had white rice and a fried egg while trying to calm down. He sat across the table from me eating his pho like it was a Tuesday.

This is when I started to question the picture he painted about his family, life, and career.

Xoxo

ZiFi

These past events are like therapy for me to write down. So, please excuse my journals of a whore to a housewife.

The Boardwalk Atlantic City

Thanksgiving Vacation

Home bound from Thanksgiving vacation in Cabo. The sun, ocean, and palm trees were amazing and very needed(especially with surgery recently). After a week in summer dresses and bikinis, I am air-bound back to a harsh Winter in Oregon. Blah! However, there is always something amazing about going home. Perhaps, it takes leaving home to realize how much I take home fore granted.

Visiting a third world country is always eye opening, no matter how often. Home is a blessing and having more than one makes me realize just how lucky I truly am. Home is more than a house. Home is a magical feeling. Safety, security, comfortable, familiar, warm, and inviting are all the feelings that wash over my body as I enter home, no matter which one.

Traveling is amazing, but so is going home.

Xoxo
~ZiFi

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Five Weeks After Surgery

It has been five weeks since I had plastic surgery and I still do not feel all the way recovered. This process has been a lot more time consuming then I ever expected, but I hope that it is all worth it in the end! I have been in Oregon for over the past month, but I am finally cleared and ready to travel.

Tomorrow morning, I am off to Cabo. What a holiday! It seems amazingly surreal. I need some sun and beaches in my life. When I come home after a week, I hope to be refreshed from all the stress that plastic surgery and recovery enduced. Plus, I would like to prepare for the AVN awards(Jan in Vegas) in a calm and focused manner. This is an important moment in my life and career.

We all only have a few moments in a lifetime!

Xoxo
Zi-Fi

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Holiday Sugar-Quest Magazine

Strip Club Journals Unbound Dec 2014

Holiday Sugar

Happy Holidays to everyone in the adult industry. We all are from such diverse backgrounds and niches within the industry that our celebration and navigation through the holiday season varies greatly. However, society tends to forget we are human too with families and holiday festivities of our own.

The adult industry as a whole is responsible for delivering comfort to people during times of distress. The holiday season is a stressful time to most. So, needless to say people seek out comfort during the holiday season. And comfort looks extremely different to different people.

In the past as a sugar baby, I really dreaded and disliked the holiday season due to my SDs being preoccupied with their wife, family, and/or children. It made me feel like I was their dirty little secret, which is not a pleasant experience, but it is apart of what sugar babies sign up for knowingly from the very beginning. We know we will never be the number one priority in a SDs life. However, laying in bed alone with new diamonds on a holiday is not what I dreamed of as a child. Therefore, I no longer see married SDs or SDs with children. This simplifies everything and I have hope that this holiday season is going to be amazingly different.

Also, this is my first holiday season, in years, without working in a strip club. Stripping saved me on almost every holiday. The other strippers are less likely to work(especially the girls with children) and the customers who do come into a strip club on a holiday are there to spend money. An ideal win win situation of distraction from my sugar holiday blues.

By design this year will be extremely different. Thanksgiving international travels are already in the works with one of my SDs(only my second vacation NOT alone this year). Sun and palm trees make any holiday better. Especially with good company.

Then for Christmas, I am considering going on vacation alone or maybe go to my home away from home in Las Vegas just to escape it all. Being alone on a holiday sounds awful to most people, but it is very understandable to people in the adult and entertainment industry. The holiday season is the closest thing to paid time off we have. Customers in the strip club are extra generous and so are SDs.

As a sugar baby, the holiday season is a time to regroup and reflect independently on the year’s accomplishments and the goals to come for the next year. Staying focused on the big picture helps to keep emotions in check. Sugar is goal oriented dating. We seek more than traditional love, we seek individual success in whatever form we deem it. This boundary trumps all. Even holidays, feelings, and how we dreamed of them.

We celebrate differently, but we still celebrate.

Xoxo
Zi-Fi
@ZiFiStripClub

“Honey, you can give a man a lot of things. You can give him your time, your money, even your heart. But the one thing you can never ever let go of is your power. You have to be able to walk away at any time.”
— Lady Heather, CSI

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