Normally, people think traveling and associate it quickly with leisure, relaxing, and sight-seeing. Well in my world, I travel often, but only occasionally take a purely leisure trip. Yes, I love the ability to travel which my career allows. However, I would love to take more leisure trips then work trip this year after so much traveling on my own last year. Yes, perhaps this is an unrealistic expectation and an occupational hazard.
Work in the adult industry has allowed me to see so much of the country and a little of the world. Perhaps, the travel bug I was born with has finally fully emerged and I am afraid to set it aside for fear of missing out on the world. Yet, I have the desire to have a career and a retirement plan. Yes, these are all first world problems and I know they seem very minute to the average American. However, I have given up so much to embody the life I have created. I have given up marriage, children, having a partner in life, unconditional love, and real life for many years to survive in the adult industry(I have to preface that not everyone gives up as much as I did, but the adult industry, stripping, and all the different opportunities and niches took top priority in my life).
After making the jump into stripping and realizing that there was no turning back I wanted to make the most of it as possible with the resources I had being just a small town middle class girl at heart. I had no clue what I had done when I entered the black lights and the strip club. Little did I know I had just entered the adult industry and my world would be forever changed. Not always for the best, but every career has its pros and cons.
Some decisions we make never thinking it may be one of the most impactful decisions in our life.
“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” ~Keri Russell
P.S. Vegas bound Saturday, wish me luck on acting carefree and having a good time.
After coming home from Las Vegas and the AVN Expo, Portland has felt so very small. The feeling of wanting to run had been flowing through my veins. On Sunday, I had to escape to Eugene if I was going to retain any of my sanity. When I am in Oregon and surrounded by small minded people I want to at least be near my family. There is something large to be said for the human factor in the equation of life. Especially after surviving the adult industry for years its importance is multiplied.
So long story short, I am back in front of my computer to catch up for a bit on my blog. My magazine column(Strip Club Journals Unbound) is finished for March. And I am Las Vegas bound this weekend for photos and fun.
May we all manifest our dreams!
“If art is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes him.” ~John F. Kennedy
This Christmas SDBF and I spent in Palm Springs, California. We took my new puppy on his first airplane ride and vacation. I enjoyed seeing him travel and the lifestyle he will become accustomed to. Much like I will become accustomed to the lifestyle I have chosen. Calming down my lifestyle has been an extremely rough transition. Now my security is greater than just financial, which is different. However, the change is not as easy as some would think. Change is never easy. Even when it is the right thing to do and preparations have been made. There will always be the instances/moments in which the urge to run back to my comfort zone surface. Comfort is relative just as reality is relative.
Happy Holidays and may 2015 be amazing for everyone!
“Grief is perhaps an unknown territory for you. You might feel both helpless and hopeless without a sense of a ‘map’ for the journey. Confusion is the hallmark of a transition. To rebuild both your inner and outer world is a major project.” ~Anne Grant
Home bound from Thanksgiving vacation in Cabo. The sun, ocean, and palm trees were amazing and very needed(especially with surgery recently). After a week in summer dresses and bikinis, I am air-bound back to a harsh Winter in Oregon. Blah! However, there is always something amazing about going home. Perhaps, it takes leaving home to realize how much I take home fore granted.
Visiting a third world country is always eye opening, no matter how often. Home is a blessing and having more than one makes me realize just how lucky I truly am. Home is more than a house. Home is a magical feeling. Safety, security, comfortable, familiar, warm, and inviting are all the feelings that wash over my body as I enter home, no matter which one.
It has been five weeks since I had plastic surgery and I still do not feel all the way recovered. This process has been a lot more time consuming then I ever expected, but I hope that it is all worth it in the end! I have been in Oregon for over the past month, but I am finally cleared and ready to travel.
Tomorrow morning, I am off to Cabo. What a holiday! It seems amazingly surreal. I need some sun and beaches in my life. When I come home after a week, I hope to be refreshed from all the stress that plastic surgery and recovery enduced. Plus, I would like to prepare for the AVN awards(Jan in Vegas) in a calm and focused manner. This is an important moment in my life and career.