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Create-a-Mate: AVN Expo 2015

imageCreate-a-Mate was one of the very first booths I experienced at the AVN Expo/Convention in Las Vegas. The sign and the name are enough to draw anyone in for a closer look, especially when there is casting material on the table in front of the booth. Curiosity gets the best of us all, even at an adult industry convention.

At first I just thought it was another dildo company, because I was surrounded by a convention full of sex toys. However after speaking to the owner, Andrew, my opinion was quickly changed. He is from New York, which is where his company is based(since 1996). It hit me that he was a real person with a kind heart when one of the first things he shared was the fact that he gives a 50% military discount to all military people. This allows their significant others to have a dildo that is shaped like them while they are away and/or deployed. This is something I never contemplated before, but what a great way to help the military people out in their love lives.

Andrew was kind enough to give myself and my new partner in crime(Adventures Of The Mayor) both a kit to try. So this will not be the last post about Create-a-Mate!

A Huge thank you to Andrew for being such a kind, down to earth person.

Xoxo

~Zi-Fi

@ZiFiStripClub

P.S. Create-a-Mate will have new products coming out soon after the AVNs!

http://www.Createamate.com

@CreateaMate

 

 

A Heartless Object – Strip Club Journals Unbound

The adult industry is simply not a place to take a heart. Emotionally bankrupt people are everywhere trying to break others. However, they are also the bread and butter of the adult industry.

Since I have left behind black lights and stilettos, I realized just how much the “real world” ignores emotions and feelings. Strip clubs are an escape for people who live in the “real world” as a way to cater to their own emotions/feelings without feeling weak/guilty. In American society, we still view emotions as a weakness rather than a strength. In strip clubs, customers view beauty, attention, and sexuality as love, affection, and intimacy.This confusion between the “real world” and the adult industry leads to many misconceptions.

The misconceptions about the adult industry are limitless in American society. Just as the “real world” is skewed to those of us in the adult industry. Will we ever understand one another? How does a person leave the adult industry behind? Can the adult industry even be left behind completely?

After witnessing the amount of deception that occurs in the “real world”, the adult industry becomes a safe place where intentions are vividly transparent. The “real world” has so many hidden agendas and disillusions. At least in the adult industry we know what people’s’ intentions boil down to, whether stated or not. The “real world” is a shade of grey that cannot be seen through. Let alone understood.

The “real world” cannot fathom being viewed as an object rather than a person. Yet, the “real world” walks into strip clubs every night to treat people as objects. And in turn those of us in the adult industry prepare to be treated as objects every night we make our way to work. This makes for the great divider between the “real world” and the adult industry. A divide that often cannot be bridged.

Ignorance is bliss or at least that is what they say. Knowing what it feels like to be treated kindly merely because you are visually appealing is a life changing experience when it becomes routine. Making a move, nearly overnight, from having crowds of people who gather around a stage throwing money at you based on how you look and move, to simply having the occasional middle aged guy steal peaks at you while you are grocery shopping in yoga pants, can be an ego punch felt deep on the insides. The residual pain is emotionally exponential. Suddenly all the intuition that you have developed about other people’s emotional needs and wants becomes a hinderance rather than a valuable skill. In the “real world” there is no monetary value in knowing about someones emotional bankruptcy unless you are in the psychiatric field. And once again ignorance is bliss because often people in the “real world” do not value or question their own emotional well being.

Living from the heart and being in the adult industry are possible, but a rarity. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, let us all take an emotional inventory and realize where we have emotional needs and wants that are not being met and/or are being met by a maladaptive coping mechanism(eg. strip club, sex, chocolate cake). Emotional bankruptcy is not necessary in the “real world” or in the adult industry. Explore the power of living from the heart. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Xoxo

~Zi-Fi

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.”

~Oscar Wilde

P.S. Avn Awards bound stay tuned for my adventures to come. ❤

New Year & New Transitions-Strip Club Journals Unbound

Transitions, new beginnings, and the new year all go hand in hand. Everyone buzzes about and questions the transition of entering the adult industry. However, rarely is the transition of exiting the adult industry discussed(unless it is a train wreck society enjoys stereotyping all strippers as). The corporate world focuses on retirement and exiting the work force. Why assume the same goals do not apply to people in the adult industry?

This past year, I have been in the transition of exiting the strip club scene. At times in my career I did love being a stripper and I adore all the options and opportunities it has provided to date. However, knowing my career window is coming to an end and at the same time knowing I gave up something I have worked hard to succeed at is very difficult. No one ever explained that everyone’s exit strategy out of the adult industry is different. Much like a professional sports career, it is a career but it has a window with a time frame. What do you do when you out grow your career?

Change is the only option and transition is inevitable. Learning how to adapt to an ordinary lifestyle is half the battle. Being in the adult entertainment industry changes your whole life. Work becomes the main priority, because there is a time frame. Sleeping at night. Waking up in the morning, rather than just going to bed. Grocery shopping and cooking rather then eating out everyday. Exercising more because stripping is exercise. Remembering your identity besides being a stripper(yet coming to terms with the fact that society as a whole will always see you as a stripper). Only being seen naked by someone you are in a relationship with. No longer wearing a bikini on rainy days. Setting goals that do not include dollar signs and instant gratification by the end of the night. And realizing there is a whole world outside the industry are just a few of the obstacles that one must overcome when exiting the adult industry. It was not easy to enter the industry, however leaving the industry completely behind is impossible.

The industry changes everyone differently. From my experience, I am learning to live by my heart rather then my bank account balance. Yes, I must have my needs and wants taken care of and have security. But for years I turned off my heart for the sake of my bank account balance. Now, I realize how priceless emotions are. Yes, emotions are scary and the adult industry is not a place to take your heart. However, years of pushing the pause button on my heart has made me value the ability/opportunity to even take my feelings into account, let alone show them genuinely.

Exiting the adult industry is a difficult challenge to pull off with grace and only a few can relate. Exiting on your own terms is the goal that brings all strippers together. No stripper says, “I want to leave all this behind only to carry a monkey on my back away with me,” or “I want to be forced out of the industry due to the damage children do to a woman’s body.” The decisions we make along the way throughout our career help to shape our exit strategy.

Thinking big picture is a must for everyone in the adult industry.

Xoxo
Zi-Fi
@ZifiStripClub

“A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no matter what it is; once you do, you can learn about the new world you’re in and take advantage of it.”
Nikki Giovanni

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