Love, sex, and intimacy are all very different things, but when all combined can be amazing. Love is something that distance or time cannot interfere with. Intimacy is the act of ongoing communication with love. Sex is merely a human need/act when love and intimacy are not involved.
So, What do entertainers look for and value in a relationship/significant other? Especially, when it is a woman in the adult industry. Women who have seen how much value society places on sexuality and physicality. And knowing these values are what create job security within the adult industry. After living this illusion at work, what do we want to come home to in our Real lives?
The most vital quality that is priceless in all relationships is trust. “If you do not trust me you have no business being with me,” said an Oregon dancer. This statement hit home because trust is something that people are leery to give to anyone, let alone a stripper. Yes, I get naked on people’s laps and look at them with desire for a living, but it is just a job, a fantasy I create.
Entertainers want to be with someone who values them as a person and not just as the entertainer they are. At work I am an entertainer, at home I am just a person and I surely do not want to be around someone who feels like work and/or a customer. I desire and need emotional intimacy and affection from my partner. Perhaps, more than most due to my job. Giving affection and understanding to strangers at the strip club makes me crave emotional intimacy more then anything else.
Material things are something entertainers can do for ourselves. Plus, we are surrounded by men with money and some desire a trophy wife/girlfriend/mistress. How could this not make a man question an entertainer? Well, we all seek security in our relationship whether consciously or unconsciously.
Often I am shocked by mainstream sexuality and knowledge or lack there of. Recently, I spoke with a younger male who was unaware that some stds are contagious even when protection is used. Working in the adult industry makes one hyper sensitive to the dangers of sexuality. Especially, when used as a band aide on a broken bone to fill a void that will never be filled completely by sexuality.
The average person may use sexuality to fill their voids for love and intimacy, but if entertainers were looking for that same fix we would just take work home with us. The fantasy is not what we want. We want real. Real emotion, real affection, real connection, real understanding, and real commitment. All the things we simulate at work in the strip club and human beings crave/need.